Vagina and smear test phobia

[decemberstars]

I am in my late 20s and haven't had a smear test. In my late teens I was experiencing abnormal bleeding and the burse tried to examine me, but the speculum hurt so much it just wasn't going to happen. She had to give up.

I have suspected endometriosis but this hasn't been diagnosed as it's not easy to prove without physically looking inside (surgery). The abnormal bleeding still occurs, and I have been to see the doctor, who insists I have a smear and tests for infections (maybe STIs? I definitely don't have one if so).

But here's the problem - I am scared stiff of internal examinations. And by that, I mean the thought makes me feel physically sick and panicky. To be honest I avoid anything to do with my vagina, sex has always been uncomfortable and I have always refused to let my partner touch me inside.

I know it's important to have a smear, but I don't know how I'll get through it. My body will refuse to do it, I know I'll be unable to lie there and allow it. I don't know how I can do it as I assume they can't give me anything to relax me during something like that? Has anyone got any helpful tips or advice?

My dear. I have so much sympathy. I too hate them and find them agonising and sharply painful. I had to have c sections due to fear of internals due to smear tests.

I do have them. I get through them. I think: I want to live. I think: I want my children to have a mother. I think: behave like you don’t have any choice in the matter at all.

You can ask to be sedated for a smear or internal exam. It’s not commonly done but it sounds like it might be appropriate for you. You need to speak to your GP and really stress how scared you are. There are varying levels of sedation. A friend of mine has diazepam prescribes for all gynae visits.

It’s not your body which will refuse the examination, it’s your mind.

I’m a bit confused, was the cause of the abnormal bleeding identified? It’s really important that that gets properly identified. If it were just missing a regular screening smear, that would be much less of an issue.

You could definitely ask the doctor for something to help you feel calmer during the examination.

it’s not a nice position to be in.

Just to be totally clear, if you’re bleeding abnormally you don’t need a screening test, you need a diagnostic test to find out what’s going on.

No the bleeding wasn't identified, but drs suspected endometriosis.

OP I understand how you feel.
I'm 29 and have never had a smear test, I've refused them.
I had a traumatic experience also with an internal examination and swore never again.
I'll never back down, as scary as it is.
I read that there is a blood test that can be done as an alternative, but it isn't offered on the NHS.
Handhold

OP could you ask to be referred to the Womens Health Department at your local hospital? They perform examinations every day and I'm sure will be experienced in dealing with your fears. I have always found my local dept to be caring, and professional, run by lovely people. Wishing you all the best take care.