Vaginismus

[Giraffe31]

I was just wondering if anyone else has any experience of vaginismus?

After having painful sex for 5 years I finally plucked up the courage to go to the doctor about 8 months ago. She did diagnose me with vaginismus but the only thing she suggested was to do pelvic floor exercises so that I could learn to consciously unclench my muscles during sex. I did this and it did help a little but it’s still very painful and it’s hard to be in the moment and enjoy sex when I’m doing muscle exercises and trying to unclench the whole time.

I’m reluctant to go back as she seemed quite disinterested even though she specialises in gynaecology. Sorry for the rambling post, has anyone else got any advice or anything that worked for them? I’m feeling like I’ll never have painless or even vaguely enjoyable sex

Look up Femmax vaginal dilators on Amazon, OP. As used by NHS. Lots of reviews.

Hi @Giraffe31

I have vaginismus and have done for about 8years now. Just started out of nowhere seemingly.

I have had Botox treatment in America which cost a lot to money but was amazing.
The book "when sex seems impossible" was really helpful to me in not feeling so alone.

In the UK I have found that Drs don't get it. I have been told to "just relax" and to "have a drink". One Dr refused to allow my husband into the room for an examination and later said it was because he was concerned he was sexually assaulting me. 🙄

Dilators are useful but time consuming and a slow process

There is a good Facebook group that may be useful for support too.

You should try sexual therapy- find a therapist. It's more in your mind than your body.

I was diagnosed about five years ago and given dilators. Was sent to a specialist. Later found out my hymen was still "unusually thick" four years after becoming sexually active (it's deffo gone now with help of dilators)

Also the specialist found an extra bit of skin. This broke away more during child birth and the midwife actually asked me if I wanted it sewing back were it had torn. Told her no way!!! Don't have any problems now.

When they examine you make sure they do it without the clamps or what ever they are called. Maybe caused by a more external problem like mine which kept getting missed as they were looking for an internal one.

I had it when I was younger and was led to believe it was a psychological thing. Do you think there's anything to that in your case?

I have a hypertonic pelvic floor (although not full vaginismus) and can strongly recommend the following

Books - with exercises and relaxation exercises

Healing Pelvic Pain - Amy Stein

A headache in the pelvis - David wise and rodney Anderson (the title says it's for men suffering with prostatitis but it has lots of advice for women and the breathing exercises for down training are equally applicable)

See a specialist women's physio - mixture of manual therapy, proper down training programme and good ones will have biofeedback equipment to help

Standard pelvic floor exercises will make things worse for a hypertonic pelvic floor (of which vaginismus is an extreme form)!

really really recommend a women's physio specialising in pelvic issues. Mine has worked miracles - my issues are with the deeper PF muscles so presents slightly differently but when I've been almost crying with pain because I'm permanently 'up' and can't pee, seeing my physio really helps

Psychosexual counselling also worth considering but from a physical POV you need proper advice about down training exercises, as simply doing kegels could well make the problem worse rather than better

Good luck OP