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Women's health

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Man causing serious chronic UTIs in all his partners - can anyone help explain?

10 replies

Heidimay · 17/09/2018 13:54

I know this is a strange question but I’d really really appreciate it if anyone has any ideas at all.
I went through a horrible few years, loosing my mind, thinking I was a freak of nature and getting very depressed with chronic, constant, severe UTIs which doctors couldn’t help put a stop to. I even lost my job due to repeated time off sick and became incontient. This lead me to have very bad anxiety and depression and I ultimately had a mental breakdown. It started when I got together with my former partner. After I left him (he was very emotionally abusive as well) the problem stopped. He made out like I was the only person in the world like this and it was all my fault.
I was recently contacted by his new girlfriend of a few months who was having exactly the same experience and was desperate for help. She’d become very ill as well and was being threatened with loosing her job as she’d been off sick so much. I started to wonder whether this had happened before as well and he did in fact know what was going on all along. After a lot of thought, I contacted two of his ex girlfriends whose names I knew and was shocked to find out they’d both had exactly the same experience as well.
The only thing that stands out about this guy is his poor hygeine - showering twice a week max (he used to get really abusive if I said anything about it) - but I don’t know whether this is the only explanation. All sexual health checks came back negative and e-coil kept showing up on the doctor’s lab tests. I was also tested for mycoplasma and ureaplasma by a private lab (the NHS don’t test for it) but this came back negative.
I spent years trying every possible thing to get it under control until it made me go crazy. I’m pretty freaked out to think this guy is going around repeatedly doing this to people and there must be some explanation.
I would be so grateful if anyone could share their thoughts as this nearly pushed me over the edge.
Thank you

OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 17/09/2018 13:58

Have you tried Manose D?

Heidimay · 17/09/2018 14:02

Hi - yes I tried this for years. I don’t think it explains why everyone who came into contact with this guy got so ill though but thank you for suggesting it, I know some people have found it helpful

OP posts:
Hotchox · 17/09/2018 14:04

I would have thought it would only be fair to share your evidence (if not conclusions!) with his new girlfriend, as she's come to you for advice. But whether or not there's anything legal anyone could do to stop the situation is debateable.

Maybe an experienced medical professional will be along soon who can tell you the ethical decision the medical community would make based on this - ie whether OR NOT it's a Typhoid Mary-type scenario, where an intervention on an otherwise asymptomatic patient is required for the health of others...

Stormwhale · 17/09/2018 14:04

I would say it is most likely down to his poor hygiene. He is introducing bacteria that he has accumulated over a good few days into a sensitive area. It's not really a mystery. He is dirty, and dirt harbours bacteria.

SpoonBlender · 17/09/2018 14:09

Skene's gland infections can be chronic, unbearable painful and life changing - and yet not show up in UTI tests, because they're encapsulated into the skene's glands themselves - these are the lady version of what is the prostate in a man, and they wrap around the urethra with tiny exits that can swell shut with the infection, locking themselves painfully away.

Don't ask how I know :( It's not a well known infection type, so worth having a word with your GP for a UTI referral if this sounds recogniseable..

redannie118 · 17/09/2018 14:09

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns, and so we've agreed to take this down now.

Heidimay · 17/09/2018 14:09

Thank you for your message - I completely agree with you, I’ve told the new girlfriend what I think and I hope she will get herself out of the situation. I don’t know what can be done, but it seems very morally wrong that someone can go round causing this much trouble in people’s lives. A friend actually mentioned the Typhoid-Mary situation when I asked. I just wish something could be done so no one else has to go through what I went through!

OP posts:
MarthaArthur · 17/09/2018 14:18

E coli means he is a dirty prick. No ither explanation.

NicoAndTheNiners · 17/09/2018 14:22

E-coli can cause chronic utis. I’m in a chronic uti support group as have had one for years and lots of women in the group I’m in have tested positive for E. coli. The doctor who’s treating me doesn’t test for specific bacteria so I don’t know what I have but he says I definitely have an infection.

TelepathicAlien · 17/09/2018 18:01

Why would you sleep with these minging men who dont wash? UrrgghShock

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