Julie Myerson - why am I not surprised that a book has materialised concerning her own son's drug issues?

[glasjam]

Read this is in today's Observer www.guardian.co.uk/society/2009/mar/01/julie-myerson-novel-drug-addiction

Does anyone else have the uncomfortable feeling that I have on learning that she is writing about her son's drug problems? I know that writers often mine their own personal experiences for material but I think she's putting her literary endeavours ahead of her son here. From what I can gather, he is still young, his drug issues are ongoing, and although he is out of the family home, surely this is risking any possible future reconcilliation? I also baulk at the way she "weaves historical research about Yelloly with her disturbing account of her son's ejection from the family home" It just smacks of middle-class-writer angst.

My cynicism is further fuelled by my very strong suspicion that Julie Myerson is the author of Living with Teenagers - but that's another story...

While we don?t know Myerson personally, the facts are that:

She has exposed her son publicly
Opened him up to personal hurt
Laid him open to the public gaze in a way that can hardly be helpful for him or his career - for rather a long time

And asked for sympathy for, er, herself.

I know it?s taboo to mention, particularly on Mumsnet, and it?s certainly unpleasant to even feel, but it might be worth suggesting that from the evidence we have that Myerson might not love her son very much. Or that if she does, she?s got a funny way of showing it.

Either may go a little way to explaining why he?s a dope fiend.

Hundreds of journalists and novelists use themselves and their families as material ? many rely on it - without shafting anyone, let alone as much as this book does.

It must be very hard growing up if your parent regards you as a source of column inches and income rather than a human being with wants and needs.

I feel sorry for the boy, the mother really is so self centred..."my child is having problems, it is terrible for me..." there is no sense she wants to help/understand her son.

Writing a book on your child's mental health problems for your own gain is up there with selling them off to the chimney sweep once you'd had enough of them (this option no longer avaiable so writing books on them is like a modern equivalent)...that's just my opinion of course.

I'm a bit torn over this one.
I think that as a writer she may have been finding it difficult to write about anything else if this problem was a big as it clearly was.
However I don't think she needed to publish it and I don't buy the bullshit about 'helping other people'.

Also everyone has different tolerance levels.
Plenty of parents of teenagers that I know see their dcs go off the rails for a while (quite often taking drugs) and don't see the need to take such drastic action. Others may do it for a lot less.

Apparently son has said there was no addiction and no problem - but then of course he would say that.

And just to add I am not a fan of either Mr or Mrs Myerson...

Oh yes and another thing -
If son is staying at friend's house are the Myersons contributing to his upkeep there?

Just wondered...

I don't think her defence justifies invading your child's privacy however much suffering she's gone through.

If her son had approved it then, he's over 18 so that would be fine. But he did not approve it. She is exploiting him, maybe not for money, she won't make loads of money out of it. But it is simply inappropriate for a parent to do this imo, just wrong. There is something really narcissistic about it too I'm afraid. It's just so me me me. What about his needs?

But I ain't a fan of the woman, I've been hurling things at the telly for years whenever she comes on acting like an ickle girly lisping and putting her hair behind her ears like she's bloody Pollyanna - Grow Up Woman you are not 7, stop acting like you are!! arghhh

Just my opinion!

Terrible to put yourself before your child like this. Can't believe she's done it when he's asked her not to.

She comes across as very self rightous and self centred and I pity her kids I really do.

Alexander Chancellor in the Guardian today has something to say about it too (can't seem to be able to do a link).

Up to about 13 parents decide the publicity children have. After that the child should have some way. I always get permission from the children for everything. They were in the papers the other week but had consented to that. they ven impose restrictions and conditions on who gets to see family photos within the extended family. That's right.

She is the Living with Teenagers one, isn't she?

"People need to know this happens to families like ours. We were very smug, we loved having young children and as they got older we thought we were going to be very good parents of teenagers," said Myerson

The reason she stopped writing that ghastly column was that her kids finally found out it was about them & were furious. You'd think she would have learned something from that

is that true, ponders? do you know that from a reliable source? it would make sense.

The A Chancellor piece

He's not keen on the idea either.

Oh yes aitch, the mother wrote a final column & he wrote one too - it was discussed on here at the time, will see if I can find it.

(NB It's not 100% certain that they are the family but everything fits)

There has been quite alot about the family in the press lately, because of this book. I find it surprising that I have not read that Julie is the Living with Teenagers author (or even hinted at) apart from on mumsnet! Where did other people hear it?

Found it

Oh, it wasn't "Eddie" who wrote the reply, it was "Jack", the younger one.

Whatever the truth of the past, the son's now working and relatively sorted - bit of a result for him and something they should be relieved about and probably are. So you'd think they'd gently be trying to build bridges, not trash their relationship further by publishing against his wishes. Poor him, and poor younger siblings too.

I think it's wrong to expose your children in any way in the press, parents should protect their children's privacy not exploit it. Even for charity imho (ref Brangelina....)
If people like Ewan Macgregor can pull it off why not others. And it's no excuse the argument Myerson makes about wanting others to know how hard it is etc etc. It's just narcissism, he reflects badly on her so he has to be rejected. It seems fairly fair weather parenting to me. But I haven't actually been in that position so I can't judge but it just seems so typical of her Pollyanna persona!

It isn't always wrong and indeed I think some parents woudl keep their children wrongly being taken away by social workers if they were able to use the press more.

in a case like this one you need the teenager's consent

unavailable - I think I might have mooted that it was Julie Myerson who was the author of Living with Teenagers some time last year. I had just read "Home" by JM and was struck by the similarities in the family make-up and the dialogue with her kids in the book. It HASN'T been confirmed and perhaps quite rightly I was admonished for suggesting it was her without evidence. If it IS her there must be a hell of a lot of newspaper editors and publishers out there protecting her identity - quite an impressive closed-shop I think.

I am not denying that a book about dealing with your own child's drug addiction could be a helpful thing to read if you were going through the same thing yourself - BUT suspecting the LWT connection just makes me feel queasy. I don't think any of us would be sitting here in judgement of any mother who's child was going through these problems - more like "there but for the grace of God" - but the wholesale exposure of your own intimate, family traumas in order to earn your bread and butter as an author is quite another thing.

And I realise now that I should have put this post in Adult NON-fiction!

dittany - that is just grim.

The thing that makes me think it's not in LWT is that she lives in South London and the LWT family clearly lived in North (Muswell Hill if I was reading it right).
OR I could have that completely wrong
OR it's a red herring.
Either way all very uncomfortable for the kids.

Christ I just read that link dittany - really, really sad - this paragraph is persuasive with regard to JM being behind the LWT column:

"For Jake, whose whole life has been charted by his mother over the years in various deeply personal newspaper columns and articles, having his own 'trauma' held up for public consumption without his consent was a step too far"

I would imagine he wouldn't want to be responsible for exposing his siblings to the glare of publicity if that was indeed the case. LoisGriffin - I think the location in London would be a redherring - an attempt to get people off the scent perhaps? Middle-Class,North London Liberal family is so much more instantly readable as a construct for a column I think.

well for years I am afraid that she has been for me the epitome of "silly cow".

I would hate to think that I would ever write about my child in this way, whether in sorrow or in anger.

Her family are all over the Saturday papers today - husband in Guardian and son in the Mail....talk about washing linen.