can anyone recommend a good laid back type parenting book

[mabel1973]

MY SIL is expecting her 2nd baby in december and her birthday is coming up so thought i might buy her a baby / parenting book to help her cope with having 2 children. She is a little uptight to say the least, so i thought something with a laid back theme might be good to help her chill out, as i can see her having a nervous breakdown!

this is good as are the others by that author

libby purves "how not to be a perfect mother" is good if a little out of date but i would just buy her one of the many mum lit books that have come out (e.g. diary of a slummy mummy is good) . she does not need advice just something to remind her that although its tough you survive + there are lots of things to make you laugh

I was going to suggest "what to expect in the first year" which is very level headed and perfect for first timers.

For a second baby how about www.amazon.co.uk/What-Mothers-Do-Especially-Nothing/dp/074992490X/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=122 2098778&sr=1-6

It's great at lifting self esteem. Also she prob doesn't want to have advice - you get enough of that with no 1.

This is not a 'parenting guide', more a 'trust your instincts' and 'congratulate yourself on your small achievements' book. It's "What mothers do" subtitle, "especially when it looks like nothing".

I really recommend it as it makes you feel proud of yourself, whatever you've achieved, and is very good at pointing out the stuff that you do all the time as a parent, but don't even regard as an achievement!

There's one with something about two hairbrushes and one shoes ? in the title it's about the jump from 1 to 2 children and from what I remeeber ( i didn't get very far before dd2 arrived) is fairly rational will hunt for it later and post back.

nother nice one is steve bildup the secret of happy children

Don't read parenting books, they send you insane! Honestly, if she's uptight, they won't help!

I liked one called three shoes, one sock and no hairbrush. made me feel a bit better about the chaos in our house

look here

Second Libby Purves - for older children, try 'Nature's Masterpiece'. Reassuring and sensible.

Noonki, I thought the 2shoes book would make her have second thoughts about her impending arrival. It is supposed to give the author's perspective about how having 2 is so much more difficult than one, which I don't entirely agree with BTW.

yes I recommended three shoes, one sock and no hairbrush to a friend and regretted it. She said it was "long on problems and short on solutions". Not one to give as a gift.

Penelope Leach is great.

is there such a thing?

I thought parenting books were there to make you feel like a shit parent

the one's i have read anyway, naming no names

thanks for these recommendations!

I have to say (in spite of what Lingle said) i like the look of the Three shoes one!

I don't think I want something that is offering solutions as such ...there aren't any are there really! Just reassurance that chaos is normal!

oh I disagree about that - I found it quite succinct and agve quite non-prescriptive solutions to problems

mind you I read it 3 months in, at crisis point, and really liked the fact that it did say it was all easy.

so on second thoughts maybe not good until she has had the baby!

• I also liked the libby purves books (but grrd a bit when she mentioned how hard it all was and then talked about the nanny doing something or other and I lost my connection with her!)

sorry mabel x post

Ive recently bought "Custard and Crayons with Polly and Jago" by Sarah Rowden and Joanna Vestey. Its not really a parenting book rather than an ideas and activities book. Its a bit more traditional - creative activities to do with the kids and mine love it. Lots of crafts and recipies to create throughout the year, as well as facts and stories for them to enjoy! It has a really laid back approach and great for children of all ages.