Books you had to stop reading because they cut too close to the bone?

[wawawewa]

I just had to stop reading The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen. It’s hitting a lot of sore points, and some of the biographical overlap I have with the characters is really spooky. I’d quite like to come back to it at a later point in life - partially because I like his writing (thought Purity was great) and partially because it’s clearly resonated with me, and I need to confront that. But I’m not in the right state of mind to do it right now.

It’s not the first time a book has made me feel uncomfortable in this way, but I’m usually able to push through.

Has this happened to anyone else, and if so, what was yours?

I loved this book so much as it made me think about my own dysfunctional family and taught me a lot! The bit that got me was when the mum had all her family at Christmas bar one child and she spent more time worrying about the one that wasn’t there rather than enjoying what she did have . That really resonated with me.

I've been toying with getting "The Weekend" by Charlotte Wood.

But part of the blurb says:
"Fraying tempers, an elderly dog, unwelcome guests and too much wine collide in a storm that brings long-buried hurts to the surface--and threatens to sweep away their friendship for good"

My dog's 13 and noticeably slowing down. I've resisted buying the book in case the elderly dog dies.

For me it'd be books by Robert Seethaler. I've read the first three he wrote and was very impressed by them and thought they were brilliantly written, but they really affected my mood.

I've had a number of mental health problems throughout my life and, while I'm not usually adversely hit by what I read, every one of these books left me feeling incredibly low, bereft even.

I guess it's a testament to how well he writes but I found the experience to be genuinely bleak. I just checked and see there are two more recent ones by him. I tend to not learn from my mistakes so can't guarantee I won't read them.

In The Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado. I did end up finishing it so not sure if this really fits the bill of the OP. But it was confronting and sometimes I had to put it down for a while. There are parts that felt so close to my experiences that it was unbearable.

@wawawewa oh my! I read The Corrections a few years ago and basically sobbed my way through large parts of it.

Totally agree about it being a hard read but it was so well done, I had to finish it despite the tears.

‘When the cranes fly south’ - written from the viewpoint of elderly man.

It’s a beautiful book, and I did finish it, but some of his observations about his life and his well-meaning son was a bit close to home, as I could relate it to my elderly parents.

Olive, Again by Elizabeth Stroud. My mum was in a care home when I read it, and it was all too close to home. I finished it, but it was heartbreaking.

COVID related stories in two series I used to read. I'm not ready to relive the experience of my Mam dying in April 2020.

I gave up on The Corrections years ago when I was on holiday and couldn’t understand why I was so anxious! I was loving the writing but it was too much for a sunny holiday. Traded it in for a Maeve Binchey and was so much happier.

Following

Stella Duffy, State of Happiness. Didn't take to it at all but it's a story about a woman who becomes terminally ill and was worrying and upsetting me without any compensatory feelings. I ended up getting rid of my copy on a friend's advice and was glad I did although I normally never get rid of books.

I read Before I Say Goodbye by Ruth Picardie when I was pregnant with DC1. It is not a sensible book to read when you're about to have children of your own.

Thanks for all the responses, these have been really interesting to read through. Also good to know I’m not the only one who was so affected by The Corrections - Franzen is clearly good at what he does, maybe a bit too good…

John Diamond’s C. Because I knew he did not survive it and with my mum going through cancer treatment I just could not finish it at the time. I just go back and read.

We read Lolita as one of the set texts at uni. I finished it because I had to, but, as a victim of Child SA from my father, it was a really uncomfortable read.

Another vote for 'When the cranes fly south'. I read it in the wake of caring for my dying dad, which was a bad move. Amazing book and I finished it but still cry now when I think about it.

John Banville's The Sea. I have twins about a year younger than the characters. A ND boy and NT girl. The overlaps in character and their relationship spooked me. The main storyline (no spoilers) really bothered me for a long time and creeps into my mind every now and again particularly during Summer.

I just found the whole lesbian strand really irritating. It just felt so performative and wrong.

I'm not sure it's what you mean, but I couldn't read Harry Potter when DC were young. The young Harry being made to live under the stairs was too much for me!

I started A Child in Time by Ian McEwan when my DD was little, not knowing what was going to happen right at the start, and gave up almost immediately.

I read it many years later. Just the wrong time in my life for the first attempt.

I hated the section of The Corrections set in Lithuania. I've never been to Lithuania, but I just knew that Jonathan Franzen hadn't been there either (later confirmed by an online interview). My Lithuanian friend was particularly put out by the idea that Lithuanians eat a lot of horse meat.

The character of Caroline did get under my skin, though. I can think of very few fictional characters that I disliked as much as her.

I'm so sorry you felt like this, and your Mum was going through that journey.

But I'm posting to say I read his book when I was going through my own cancer journey. Although I knew he didn't survive his journey, I found the book uplifting.

Some of the passages really resonated with me. Like the constant fear that some other symptom had reared its head. In the book sometimes what he experienced was a further symptom, sometimes it was panic.

In short, his book helped me to understand some of the weird feelings I was feelings and to understand that those feelings were perfectly normal.

His book did what I felt was his intention, though of course I have no idea if it was. It made me feel "normal". It made me realise that having a possible life ending situation is scary, and feeling scared about it is ok.

Again, so sorry your Mum and you went on that journey.

Iris Murdoch: The Black Prince
Thomas Hardy: Jude the Obscure
Aldous Huxley: The Genius and the Goddess
Evelyn Waugh: Vile Bodies

All had stuff in them that was triggering for various reasons.

3 dads walking
My ds took his life a year ago and I can't get past the first few pages.