we have a problem in our book club

[hermykne]

to kinda sum up, one member is not as literary as the rest of us, i am trying to explain this without sounding snobby but certain words are needed to explain this proble,

she always arrives late and so misses the "book" review.
she has read maybe 2/3 books out of the 16/18 we have done. she hasnt even read the awful ones she picks.

she is very confrontational, when points are raised or opinions about the "book" or general chit chat.

its really annoying, it changes the whole ambiance to the evening, last one 3 of us went home furious with her.

i would say she is naive and this doesnt help and shes protecting her ability to be considered a book reader by being so defensive.

anyway one member W sent a txt to another (Z) asking if the problem re her (U) attendance had been solved - text to all nxt event is on X and one must have read the book to attend-

receiver of txt (Z) replied and sent it to our problem member instead (U), stating yes and maybe she'll read the book.

so Z and U had a talk and she was defensive as usual

what to do
we are having a summer recess as some of the other memebrs just cant listen to her silliness for much longer, and these are older members, she is our youngest.
so

I'm sorry, "smart arsed comments" ?! weren't you the one who said she was not as "literary" as the rest. Does that not suggest you are looking for something more serious than perhaps she is or perhaps is capable of ? I wasn't suggestign a critque of SATC, it was seriously meant. Our book group had outings/video nights of films of the books we had "read" - it is another vehicle for discussion and not as frivolous as you seem have determined. You can even do a degree course along those lines !

Whilst I see your dilemma and frustration the attitude of the rest of the group and your unwillingness to look at how it might appear from her pov, comes across as rather playground. You need to agree common aims or it will fall apart. Maybe she'd rather not come anyway or only come to socials ?

did you not read my carefully crafted post of some time earlier hermy

i am wasting my energy here methinks

or looks into hermyknes eyes very closely

are you double bluffing

At our book group, we choose 2 books - one "easy" one not more challenging - and people can read one or the other.

The book discussion usually runs from 8-9, and if anyone's not read either book, or is part-way through and doesn't want to find out the ending, they come after 9.

We have real mixture of people, and we frequently disagree about books / children / films / eveything. But that doesn't mean that one person's view is less valid than anothers. I've had people wanting to join our group, but there's eight of us now, and that feels just right. I do find it hard to say no to people though. I'm loving the idea of a questionnaire to join, but ours would be more along the lines of "What's your favourite wine?"

FWIW, our group has read more or less the same as the OP's group, and The Island was one of my least favourite books, too.

Zippi, I love that James Kelman book. You'd be very welcome to join our group with such good taste.

it seems she is not welcome rahter less becaus eshe doesnt read the book than that she monolposies the social chat

so really you just dont want her there

she is clearly not reading the signals to not come so all you can do is tell her

the worst book we ever did was the execrable Alchemist

LIZS WE ARE GOING TO SATC, we did devil wears prada and waitress.

look into my eyes zippi............

mrsmuddle good idea for 2 books, i shall suggest that at nxt gathering.

or a short story novella as one

or something from a magazine or something like granta

or

an article in the spectator

or poetry

the yellow wallpaper is short

here

i want my own book group where i choose everything

zippi we've had those suggestion thou not granta.
tbh i just dont think shes a book person but would like to be, therefore the flow doesnt flow , keeping it plain and simple.

but i certainly dont want to hurt anyones feelings or intimadate them. thats not my personality, far from it,

zippi thats a great suggestion -i hope you are looking into my eyes -, but i can tell she wouldnt even buy it, it would just be over her head, but i will suggest it to 2 members who would be keen .

to be frank she aint gonna read anything so she either is just allowed to freeload on the night

or you tell her she should stop coming

but SATC isn't a book !

zippis niche area

readings on madness

contrary to appearances i am big intellectual

she wouldnt want to wade through my book shelves

A book club..Where the rule is if you really don't like or can't read the book
a. Attend and let the 'readers' do the talking.
b. You don't go.

actually i havenmt seen the yellow wallpaper for a bit i should unpack some boxes i have a fancy to read it myself

hermy you do sound a bit more mellow now

have you felt the benefits of chatting

Zippiti, I can do bookish, and I can choose nice wine and provide lovely snacks. I wish I was in a book club.
If you were starting a book club what book would you choose first?

Oh sorry, is the yellow wallpaper a book? I'm obviously not the right type for a book club . Maybe I could sort out the olives or something.

its based on one LIZS,
i'm sure you know that thou.

yes zippi...its nearly bedtime....

Our book group has a similar sort of dynamic - there are a few of us who read the books fairly assiduously & try and read around them a bit, & others who rarely read the book & pitch up for a bit of a chat BUT we have developed a few unwritten rules which manage the process:

• first 30-45 mins is gossip time. No attempts are made to be clever in this time. Any attempts are punished with more wine.
• we have a 'natural' chairperson - plus two others of us who are reasonably arsey If things get too digressive, we just say 'Oy, back to the book please'. I know you don't want to be confrontational, but one of you not make some jokey comment to bring things back?
• Someone always prepares a few qus on the book, reads around a bit - so they always have a semi-agenda - so they can also say 'oy, back to the book'

I should also say, in a slightly snobby way, I was a bit nervous about our book club when it started - I'm an Eng Lit grad, & read a lot - some of our members are self defined 'non-readers'. But it works brilliantly - in fact, our current 'star contributer' is one of those 'non readers'.

Don't assume that 'U' can't contribute. Perhaps she just needs to feel a bit more confident that you are interested in what she has to say. What happens when she chooses the book? (Sorry if you've said this & I've missed it)

Zippi - yellow wallpaper looks fab - will suggest it for our next book, I think.