Chocolat- AIBU…

[AlertCat]

To think, on re-reading after a gap of many years, that JH did absolutely zero reading about domestic violence and that her portrayal of Joséphine is sickly in its over-simplification and almost callous disregard for the real multifaceted issues and terrible dangers faced by women in such situations?

I don't think it sickly at all, I think it accurately portrays a woman who has been cowed and broken by a domineering, bullying man. I have an elderly relative who has spent her whole life in an abusive relationship, and this is what it's like. When I was growing up we also had a neighbour whose husband got drunk and used her as a punchbag; some on the street would take her in for the night. Next day she would go back and everyone would pretend it hadn't happened. Because you have to, doing otherwise can put these women in more danger.

I don't think it is a case of callous disregard, but for many it is the reality of the situation. When it comes to domestic abuse, a lot of people are not in the real world. The do-gooders, armchair experts and mumsnetters would always have us believe that the only answer is "Leave the Bastard" but for some women that is just not possible. How do you think JH should have portrayed Josephine? Because there are timid women like her everywhere, and they are powerless to change anything about their situation, despite what we are led to believe.

Thanks for replying :-)

The bits which glared at me are the bits in which Joséphine recovers her poise and confidence within a week, and then returns to the cafe without help or support (where Muscat then attacks her). She, and her friends, all say things like “I should have left him years ago” as she quickly recovers her mojo, and it just seemed to me on this re-reading, to downplay the traumatic bonds and the sheer fear that affect women in violent relationships.

The book also glosses over the power disparity- when Muscat leaves the village, he “cleaned out their joint account” but Joséphine “has some savings of her own” with which she can reopen the cafe under her own steam. How did she manage to save?
I dunno, it just feels to me as if the message is simple: LTB, your life will be easy then and your ex H will disappear and never threaten or trouble you again. There’s no mention of the risks faced by women who leave their violent partners, nor the real consequences of financial abuse.

I know it doesn’t claim to be that sort of book, but knowing what I know now (which I didn’t know when I first read it) it seems a bit trite, even victim-blaming. ETA, I have been in coercive and violent relationships since I read Chocolat the first time.

Your observations are interesting. Maybe it is, maybe you're right about all of this. Perhaps I shouldn't read it again for this reason... It's a very long time since I read it and I may view it differently now.

I think at the time, I saw it as being that Josephine had to just get back on the horse, as it were, just get on with it, a bit like our neighbour when I was a teen. Everyone knew the abuse was happening, but it wasn't mentioned. But maybe JH is being too glib about it. With the savings, you could assume kept over years of tips from her job...? But yes, I suppose you could call it all poetic licence by an author who has clearly never lived with a controlling man. You have so you're in a better position than most to see the flaws in this tale.

Victims in books and movies always bounce back quickly and have their Happy Ever After, but obviously this isn't a true picture of the difficulties faced by those who do decide to escape from a bully. I hope you're in a better place now.

I suppose, in the end, Chocolat is quite a twee little tale, and maybe it has not dated well. The dilemma is, do I re-read or would I go from loving it to hating it...?

I completely agree! I’ve kept this book where others have been given away and then re-acquired, but maybe I shouldn’t revisit everything I loved in the past! Kind of regretting this now, my memory of it was much happier than my impression of it now.

Maybe there’s a discussion in that. Which books bear revisiting and which lose their magic when we go back to them?

Have you read the follow up books? I think she has more long term issues stemming from her marriage in them.

That would indeed be interesting subject matter for another thread...

Yes, that’s true. And apparently there are two more now- a series of 5.