Kairos – you can’t call it a love story!

[SlowDoris]

I’ve just finished reading Kairos by Jenny Erpenbeck, which won this year’s International Booker prize. I thought it was very evocative of a time and place, absorbing and thought provoking. But the story is about a “love affair” between a 19 year old woman and a 53 year old man, and I have been amazed that all the reviews describe their relationship as romantic - “focused on a romantic relationship”, “lushly romantic”, “a torrid romance” – rather than just abusive. Ok, the reviews do say the book is bleak and painful, and the point is that the relationship analogous to the break up of the GDR, but I couldn’t help thinking about the short shrift Mumsnet would give Hans and his behaviour, and I was surprised that I have not yet read a review, nor was there a character in the book, saying a 53 year old man starting a relationship with a 19 year old woman is a bad person! (I also thought his erectile function was unlikely, given that he was a smoker in his 50s.)
I had the same feeling about Trespasses, and I’ve not seen that mentioned either. And Michael is supposed to be sympathetic in that, I believe. Maybe it’s just because I’m getting old myself that I can’t see these relationships as romantic!

I've not read it yet but it's written by a 57 year old woman who grew up in and is writing about a period that did not view a relationship with that age gap as abusive. The woman is an adult and (from reviews) the breakup of the relationship is because she outgrew him. Which, again, is period appropriate, the most sisapproval arelationship like that would get would be that it wouldn't last because she would grow up snd realise he wasn't all that. Obviously with a modern lens we look at it differently and I'm not sure how much the (male) translator impacted the way the story reads in English. Would be interesting to know what a parallel reading of the German vs the English translation would reveal.

In Trespasses the main female character must have been a little older than 19 - early 20s - as she had presumably qualified as a teacher. And the relationship never came across as exploitative/abusive despite the huge differences between the characters.

I also found the relationship in Kairos quite disturbing as I found Hans and his behaviour quite unpleasant. However, although she was only 19 at the beginning of the relationship (the main story unfolds over a longer period - at least 3 years), she came across as older than her years.

Hans wouldn't have been for me, that's for sure, but I don't think the age difference in itself was the cause of the problems.