Clichés we currently hate in the literary world

[FknOmniShambles]

I know this has been done before (she titted boobily down the stairs, etc!) but hey ho.
My current anti-fave is any book described as a "love letter to xyz." bleurgh.
Anyone else?

Always mentioned but when they look in the mirror to describe their appearance. I always get so bored when they describe it all in one go.

Oh and heaving tables, a pregnant woman always ‘with child’.

Books called 'The [Something] of [Something]'

Books with the story question on the front cover. ‘Will Adelia find love?’, ‘Will Janet & John overcome their differences?’

98% of the time the answer is obviously yes, so it’s just irritating.

The Littlest Cornish Chocolate Bakery and Teashoppe of Kabul

The franchise or whatever it is where all the books are The [Something] Girls. The Factory Girls, The Postroom Girls, that sort of thing.

Year six SAT descriptive language.

See, slurped, munched etc

Padding along the floor. For fuck’s sake!

normal seeming people who are actually devilish psychopaths with nothing in them but pure evil

The ***(insert noun) of Auschwitz wherein the author writes everything they've ever seen in a film about the holocaust

When books are compared to Gone Girl on the cover. Giving the game away!!!

Everyone in the world is padding around!

Normal people turning detective. Uncovering evidence based off absolutely nothing and refusing to tell the police because they won't be believed.

I have an irrational hatred of any description of wispy tendrils of hair.

The (adjective)(noun) of (cutefirstname)(quirkylastname)

I first came across that in One Day and found it really distracting

Anything described as "urgent" or "whip-smart."

Anything blurbed by Marian fucking Keyes.

"For fans of..." So patronising.

Tiktok made me buy it

It did once but never again.

Oh and anything involving plucky fucking land girls, midwives in the 40s or spitfires.

I love crime novels, but 99% of the detectives are addicted to coffee, I feel like I have a caffeine overload, and I barely touch coffee.

It’s more common on TV but also happens in books: when a police officer or detective goes solo in a clearly very dangerous situation like confronting the suspected serial killer in his home or the isolated cottage they’ve tracked him down to.

Referring to books with any sort of mention of sex or actual sex scenes as “spicy”

... usually barefoot and after great sex, with tousled hair and wearing his shirt.

You've reminded me that I once read a lot of 1930/40/50 american crime novels. If they had breakfast then it would be just 2 eggs and coffee, otherwise they lived off whisky, cigarettes and cocktails. I'm impressionable so it was a very unhealthy phase for me!

I'm currently re-reading steinbeck, the opposite of this thread, but my contribution is titles that are intentionally dripping, like "where the crawdad's sing".

Novels in which the characters never speak, they exclaim, smile, screech, grill, bark, wonder, demand, yelp etc. It tends to detract from what they actually say.

God, yes. Definitely. I loathe this with a passion - I've actually given up on perfectly good books because they talk about 'padding'.

But every time I get up for a wee in the night, I can't help but think 'padding' is actually quite a good word to describe that kind of quiet walking on plush carpet 😬