Joe Gibson - Seventeen

[Bikingwithbabies]

Has anyone else read the excerpt in the Guardian? Wow! My jaw was on the floor but it is oddly gripping. Can't wait for it to come out (will need to hold out for the audiobook due to time constraints).

My stomach dropped as I read the extract.

We had a number of girls from school who ended up marrying teachers. This was in the 1980s and 90s. The teachers continued to teach there and sent their kids to the school (private grammar). There were also a couple of affairs going on between male teachers and female students. I didn't hear of any female teachers grooming boys though.

It's beyond grim and I have no idea how such a massive blind eye was turned.

It's absolutely harrowing. Fortunately, the laws have now changed so age is no longer the only thing that matters in terms of relationships being considered abusive. This book just emphasises why.

Yes I read it. A classic case of truth being stranger than fiction. I felt so sorry for him because of the way the other teachers behaved towards him - ignoring him in class and the same a few years later when he had to bring their child into the school. In this case the whole thing is worsened by the age gap. I remember when I was second year of secondary school, so academic yr 1976 - 77, our English teacher's wife had just had a baby. I lived in a small town, and when I mentioned it at home (only noteworthy because he'd twisted his ankle falling down hospital steps at visiting time) someone said that she'd been a pupil at the school and they'd married after she'd left. The age gap was only 5 years, and as far as I know, there had been no suspicion of grooming. In those days schools' only concern was that such couples were discreet about it. This seems more sinister, but of course the extract will feature the most sensational part.

Nowadays that would be considered abusive, as the teacher has a position of power over the pupil. That trumps age in terms of giving consent. I agree though that a 17 year age gap changes the dynamic/ power imbalance even further.

I read it and was really shocked. What I couldn't understand was why it went on after he left home and went to university. I assume he left home? I'm just thinking of him making friends and introducing them to somebody who is so much older. I'm thinking too about his mother and father and what they must've thought, especially when she got pregnant. Why didn't they kick up a fuss then? How come the teachers in the school allowed him to come back and show off the baby? Why wasn't she fired well before then?

I think that all just shows the extent of the grooming, I imagine he genuinely thought it was love, and no one else would understand. From the excerpt she comes off as rather self-centred and not a pleasant person at all (unsurprising I suppose as she is a sexual abuser after all), so she probably convinced him to forego the typical student shenanigans, even before getting married and having a kid when he was only about 20 and still at uni.

As for his parents and other teachers: I don't think it was illegal and plenty of male teachers did the same so they probably felt there wasn't much they could do. We can only hope they didn't turn a blind eye under the guise of being progressive (by not treating a female abuser differently from her male colleagues doing the same)...

Anyone else wonder if someone will blow the whistle and there will be (yet another) scandal? Even if they've changed some details, the story must be pretty recognisable...

I didn't get the feeling that he thought it was love, but that he thought he couldn't leave her. She seemed incredibly predatory in the way he described her.

When he described her saying she hadn't wanted him to go to a party with his friends my blood ran cold. I was trying to imagine what I would do if that was my son.

I read the extract and found it absolutely heartbreaking - and then the shocker at the very end of the piece.

All the way through I felt he had been let down by every adult in his life - his parents, other teachers and his despicable Spanish teacher.

@Bikingwithbabies I don't think he thought himself in love. It was more about lust, and it was as if he'd been put on a conveyor belt and just felt he couldn't get off. At least that's how it comes across from the article. The entire book may leave a different impression. Children at such a young age would have been prompted by the ticking of her biological clock. Such a big age gap pushed him into early responsibilities and robbed him of the youth that she'd already had. Even at that, they could have had more of what he called adventures, but she was reluctant to make any effort.

@determinedtomakethiswork He went to uni locally so may well have stayed at home. He wasn't welcomed with the baby at school, and he wasn't showing it off. He took it in at break so that she could breastfeed it. Not clear if it was a one off. IMO he was treated badly by the teachers who were giving him the cold shoulder. They were married by then, not just shacked up, and however much said teachers disapproved of their previous activities as teacher and pupil, it was no reason to treat so badly a boy who'd already been through a lot.

@determinedtomakethiswork I assume they didn't know about the first pregnancy that was terminated. They couldn't really complain about the children they had in wedlock. They probably thought it was no worse than getting married.

Yes! I read the excerpt today and now I need to know.

What a terribly sad story. So much of his potential thrown away because of her abuse of power. I've preordered the book on Amazon. Hope he's come out the other end ok.