This is the thread that has to rhyme

[Elasticwoman]

Now it's the season of pantomime.
Every one now have a bash
At imitating Ogden Nash.
of plagiarism have no fear
when paying homage to Edward Lear.

oh bugger, I keep trying to think up a witty rhyme but I just CAN'T!!!!!!

oh bugger, I keep trying to think up
a witty rhyme but I just CAN'T!!!!!!
I better have a mulled wine cup
And send a christmas card to my aunt

How did you make Aunt Rhyme with Can't?
Are you a southern jessie?
Sort it out
And make it fast
Your rhyming looks so messy!

I was merely trying to aid
A fellow poet on her arse
And you may think that I am staid
But no, I am just upper class

well, typically my words were pinched
my clever comments brazenly half inched.
However, It really doesn't matter,
as to imitate is also to flatter
xxxxxxxx

Aunt rhymes with can't
but does fast rhyme with out?
Sort out your own before casting a clout!
But let us not be hyper-critical
'Tis the season to be
unpolitical.

er, ladies we seem to be forgetting
( among our general clucking and pecking)
that Elastic's ditty (which was exemplary),
is in rhyming couplets- AA/BB.

Donnie, that's nice
but to follow Tim Rice,
any rhyme will do.
Inside the line will do fine
and using an old one twice.

Mumsnet is good it is true
Although I am really quite new
I have had lots of rows
Made a couple of pals
But must see to kids toodle-loo

Mumsnet is good it is true
Although I am really quite new
I have had lots of rows
Made a couple of pals
But must see to kids, toodle-loo

So good I sent it twice-
I thought my rhyme was nice!

Hubble bubble toil and trouble
I just thought I's seein' double!

True poetry should not restrict
But rather free emotion depict,
Soaring thoughts come tumbling down
Like a silken train on a couture gown.
A connoisseur would surely love it
So you my dear can frankly shove it!

Shall we put a ban
on rhymes that don't scan?
But let not this banter
Become any scanter;
Perhaps I'll have a word with Santa.

With apols to Ogden:
some tortures are physical and some are mental
but the worst Christmas tv is sentimental.

Not mine, but Wendy Cope says it so well:

"Bloody Christmas, here again,
let us raise a loving cup,
peace on earth,
goodwill to men,
and make them do the washing up"

Oh actually I like this one too:

"At Christmas little children sing and merry bells jingle,
The cold winter air makes our hands and faces tingle
And happy families go to church and cheerily they mingle
And the whole business is unbelievably dreadful if you're single."

I like this thread, it makes me titter,
I'm snug inside; outside it's bitter,
The kids are out, come what may;
And hubby too, so I can play!!

There was an old Mum on Mumsnet
Who put on a thread for a bet.
She talked about breading,
Breast, bottle, feeding
And now she's banned and upset!

By dose, id runs,
by eyes are red,
I view the coming
week with dread
It's bitter cold,
too much to do
And now I fear
I've caught the flu
shiver, aches,
I've got the lot
a bubbling,
seething
lump of snot...

Christmas? No! It's still not time
Now Mumsnet wants threads that rhyme
Turkey, tinsel, Christmas tree
Tis all getting too much for me
Give me mulled wine, by the mug
Then maybe I'll not shout, 'Bah Humbug!'

Twas the week before Christmas, when all through mumsnet
Not a dc was stirring, not even a pet.
The stockings were like Nora Batty?s oh yeah
In the hopes that dp really wouldn?t care

The dc?s were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of Nintendo danced in their heads
And dw with her Bailey?s, and dp with his bitter
Had just settled their brains for some internet chitter

If there's one thing at Christmas that fills me with joy and laughter and goodwill and hope

It's Wendy Cope.

Love her like she was my bruvver.

In the bleak midwinter
frosty mum's did moan
'i can't find a ds lite,
they're sold out on amazon'
threads are falling thread on thread,
thread on thread,
will breast milk be enough, or formula instead?

'What shall i give him
poor as i am?'
try the for sale boards
you could swap your pram.
Sending presents secretly
to those in need,
thank you little lapIn
you are a saint indeed

Thank you We3, that's fantastic!
Merry Christmas, from Elastic
-woman. Any more letters
from you mumsnetters?

just found this thread
& tho' its been put to bed
lets praise the women named above
for releasing the poetic dove
to other souls of creative bent
whose energy is certainly spent
dealing with kids& husbands/chores
and working out personal mores
Happy Easter to you all
harken to you all!