to be p**sed at dh

[mustsleep]

i have just git a new job working three nights a week until half ten - and i am keeping my current job cleaning five evening a weekfor two hours

so three nights a week i won't see ds as i will be picking him up from school and then going to job 1 and then going to job 2

but as it is just for over xmas i thought that would be ok as we want to go on hols next year - and after xmas will quit one of the jobs

dh wants me to keep both jobs as we need the cash - even though i have 2 yr old dd to look after all day

all this was fine starting job 2 next week - dh calls me five mins ago and says can i get my sister to look after kids on a night as his boss wants him to work away in scotland!!

"it would only be for a couple of weeks" she already has the kids on one of her two days off and my mum looks after them on an afternoon until he gets home - i just think that its unfair on ds as he won;t really see me me apart from on a morning for three days and then for a couple of hours before he goes to bed on the other days and if dh works away he wonlt see him at all

plus i think it's a bit out of order to have to ask my sister to look after the kids until half ten at night whe she's been at work all day and dd prob won;t got o bed for her

his boss knows ou situation and i think it's really unreasonable of him to even ask

sorry for the long rant but i am really angry

I know just how you feel. I work 3 nights a week (9pm until 2am - soon to be 2.30am grrr!!) plus looking after 2 dds all day (which is why i chose nights) On occasion DH has had to go to a meeting or sports evening usually pils come round and look after los while they're in bed. BUT on a couple of occasions they couldn't do (fair dos they old retired and have a life outside us) DH just said oh that's ok you can take a night off!! WTF my job is less important than his sports evening? Maybe I don't need/deserve a bit of a break? Eventually I expolded. He now asks me rather than tells me, and makes sure pils can sit before he agrees. I still get frustrated occasionally that I don't seem to get these evenings, but in the grand scheme of it he needs a break too. Your situation sounds slightly worse and I think he is unreasonable to have agreed and assumed someone else can parent his children!! Tell him.

i have and he's basicallysaid that we knew that he would eventually have to work away and tht's true we did

which is why i didn;t want to go back to work at all i don;t want to have to rely on someone else or feel like i am putting someone else out all the time

but when i didn;t work of course sods law all his work was local

it just annoys me how he thinks it's ok to out my family out or that after woring all day they would even want to watch someone else's kids all night

he has told his boss no after i finished shouting at him and his boss had the cheek to say "what you've really got no one that can look after them" arse hole

dh is like that too if the kids where sick when i workied during the day it would always be me that had to take a day off- he seems to think that employeres are all undestanding an caring .... whatever

A friend of mine once said .. The difference between men and women (ok not all of them before I get jumped on by the SAHD - not literally!) Most of us women have had a career/job before children so we know both sides of it. They haven't done both so they only have a blinkered view and can only understand they're point of view.