I am reading the other night my comfortable mystery series which I really enjoy, when I read a phrase and had to stop and go "whoa, that really stinks!" Try this for size...
"It may catch you by surprise, desperation erupting and overwhelming you before you know how close it is. She had felt that dark edge of panic brushing her". I love this author and this book series but this needed some serious editing, or deleting really. Ok, I have the first entry. Any takers?