Mount by Jilly Cooper - SPOILERS!

[MrsCampbellBlack]

So do not read this thread if you have not read the whole book.

If Beatie hadn't been impaled on that unicorn, I'd be most suspicious of You're

Bugger. You are onto me! I spent ages perfecting my Eulalia disguise and shoving wild flowers up my bits as well.

I don't know if Etta is Jilly, but I did think that Sampson might have been partly Leo. There was something about him weighing Etta and I'm sure I read that Leo did that.

Leo used to weigh Jilly?

Christ. Well that would certainly explain why she thought nine stone was fat.

Really sad, that was one dysfunctional marriage hidden behind all the gloss :(

Poor Jilly

Kathy thanks for the timeline. I'm more confused than ever though! I think I remember readying that the Olympics were moved to 1980 for some mundane publishing reason, ie: I think she was really late turning in the second half or somesuch and they ended up having to go with it? Could be a wild figment of my imagination though!

This game is fun
Most fanciable: Dino. Was soooooooo in love with Dino with his snake hips, ash blond streaks and slanting grey eyes
Wanted to be: Fenella Maxwell (obviously) but later Caitlin too.
Am actually most like: Lizzie
Smack in the face: James Ver'caring
Get drunk with: Bas
Give a long, withering stare to: Gala (screwing her boss KNOWING she was getting cancer treatment the next day! FUCK YOU GALA). Then Helen.
Biggest drip: Etta
Favourite couple: Dino and Fen/Patrick and Cameron
Please just get divorced: Agreed, Declan and Maud!
Total sweetheart: Kitty and Lysander/Billy
Biggest bitch: Rannaldini

^screwing her boss knowing his wife was getting cancer treatment the next day! - and again - FUCK YOU GALA

None of the rest of the children wanted Valhalla because it's haunted.

OR none of them could afford the upkeep with only a portion of the inheritance.

Cosmo has been doing dodgy dealings so bought it off them and they were happy to take the money and run.

"hello Dame Hermione, I fort your last album was triffic"

I've always thought of these books as existing in a parallel universe where opera singers and equestrians are the biggest stars.

There's no real reason why one kind of sportsperson or performer should be "the most famous kind". It's just a self-perpetuating system that once it gets in place continues to be "how things are".

In Jilly's world the tabloids are not full of reality TV stars and footballers but of conductors and jockeys.

I think murder would have been done if my husband tried to weigh me. I did wonder - I was Googling Jilly, and I found two articles written at least 4 or 5 years apart which both began "I have lost 9lbs in a week on the cabbage soup diet/I have lost 7lbs this week for my book launch..." as direct quotes from Jilly. I thought that was a bit odd, to go around telling these things to journalists! But if you were used to being judged on your weight then maybe you would. also how is she managing to lose 9lbs in a week?

it's so old fashioned now - i remember my dad doing the cabbage soup diet in the 80s, and my mum considered herself a heifer if she was over 9 stone...

I remember being horrified whilst reading Bridget Jones's Diary and the constant weigh ins and "9st 2, why am I soooo fat" bollocks.

I'm 5ft 3 and 9 stone is well within the healthy range for me, I can weigh that and be a size 10!

OTOH, Bridget was supposed to be WRONG about her weight. When she got to her target weight her friends all thought she looked ill.

Whereas Jilly's heroines only benefit from spending a week with only grapefruit and Perrier and not washing their hair.

You seriously wouldn't want to be within a mile of me after a week of grapefruit, fizzy water, and no hair washing. I'd be the fartiest, hangriest greaseball ever.

My STBXH used to weigh me. Cock.

Can I change my most fanciable? Dino. Swoon. I'm re-reading Riders. He's a beauty and he can ride.

sigh.

Welcome aboard OhMrsQ

Maybe my most fanciable is Dino too! He is lovely, but not a pushover. Or what about Alizarin? I always thought he sounded quite sexy. Must re-read Pandora.

MrsQ, did he really? Glad to hear he's an ex!

Oh, Alizarin! Blimey, I'm finding it very hard to choose!

And yes, he did tooextramature. Then cheated because I had put on weight. When I left him I lost 2 stone and you should have seen his face!

I always felt that we didn't get enough Alizarin in Pandora.
Of course he married 'fat, jolly Sophy' who was probably all of a size 12.

I am so disappointed about Rupert having an affair. I've loved most of the other books and read them,particularly Rivals, over and over. Why did she have to bring her bitterness over her own marriage into this book. Luckily I read all the reviews before I started reading it and have given the book to a charity shop unread. It's been a great journey with all the characters over the years but I'll never buy another book of hers. Was not so bothered about the timelines but getting characters names wrong is unbelievable. Really really disappointed. How could you Jilly ?

I've just finished Mount & I loved it! I thought JC was back on form, with compelling horse & dog characters & I love all the nature, history & racing stuff.

I actually quite liked Gala & thought her lovely shags with RCB were pretty believable (though that word was indeed ick). Taggie was always a wet martyr stuck in the kitchen, so no real change there. I can't stand Etta (who was considered terribly badly treated by her children for being built a bungalow with a north facing garden, the very definition of abusive), but thankfully she hardly featured.

I did think there was a lot of loose ends (Trixie & Seth, wittering about re running historic race & then not doing it etc) but JC's books are always baggy. I thought it was light and fun Jilly - not picking up the bitterness & sadness other posters have detected?

Neveragain

AM I reading this correctly?

You love all the other books.

You already spent money on this book.

But you've read a spoiler that Rupert has an affair

So you've decided not to read it at all and have given it away?

That's a very extreme reaction.