What children's books make you skip bits when reading aloud?

[FrannyandZooey]

Following on from the fairy tales thread...

I presume everyone else finds themselves skipping bits in books that are too scary or otherwise unsuitable?

In preparation for a recent dentist's trip we borrowed some books about teeth etc, but didn't feel it necessary to introduce the idea of the drill to ds (age 3), so kept missing those bits out.

When we arrived for our appointment, we found an Usborne book about the dentist in the waiting room and dp started to read it to ds. The first child goes in and has a check up, but the second child needs a filling which took about 4 pages to describe. So dp's rendition went something like this:

"Well done Lucy, your teeth are great," said the dentist. Then it was Tom's turn to sit in the chair."

long pause

"Er...Oh. Erm, Tom's teeth were fine too."

"Ah! Then they all said goodbye to the dentist and went home."

Respect, bigdipper. PMSL.

Okay, Filly, what do yours say? Female humans? Members of the stronger sex? Those who must not be condemned to a life of washing up?

The original Thomas books are OK. At least there are interesting words in them (like Jeremiah Jobling with the bootlace in James, I think).

But the newer versions are awful. They get lost here.

DS really likes factual books about Diggers and Trucks and Fire Engines and such like. These are very dull. But at least I can give a precis of what fect we are being told.

Women

I always find women/woman faintly icky, but I'm not sure why

hmm

ladies makes me think of lorry drivers

Lorry drivers? How odd.
So what does JK Rowling do? as I asked further down the page....

oh ok

in around book 4 or so she continually draws attention to the skin colour of some of the characters who are not white, notably Angelina.

It just seems completlely unecessary to comment on this. She's noticing that some characters are "black" but not that most of the rest of the characters are "white" thus reinforcing the idea that to be black is to be different-its something to comment on. It really grates on me.

I have taught ds to say "lady" and "gentleman" when referring to someone who he doesn't know. It sounds a 100 times less rude when he says loudly "That gentleman has got a big hat, hasn't he?" It usually is older people he is commenting on, as well (there are not many young people about during the day, really) and I think older women prefer to be referred to as a lady, rather than as a woman.

frank, we can have this out here if you want

but I know how you feel about thread bleeding

Filly - I seem to remember that there was a big fuss after the first few books that there weren't any/enough black or Asian characters in the books and that JKR's contention that, actually, several of the characters were, just she didn't go on about it the whole time was seen to be Not Good Enough. I've assumed that that was responsible for the change in phrasing after that -- seems she can't win, really...

No I like it when they digress, that is the best bit

it's when two threads are going at once and people are talking about the same thing on two different threads. I mean it is anarchy.

well I was quite by it

I mean, that does explain it but...

I mean, that is a seperate issue in the Angelina book, innit? AFAIR, there are about 3 black characters. Angelina, Dean and Blaise Zabini who is Slytherin. And then the Patel twins. And Cho Chang. And I think thats it. Pretty poor really.

none of them central characters, either

if she'd be able to turn round and say "actually, Herminone is black" then she might have had a point.

There aren't any one-legged dwarf lesbians either- bloody woman, has she never heard of being PC?
GOOD GRIEF

um...

yes...

But let me just say...

Its polictical correctness GONE MAD !!!!! (probably some more !!!!s there)

yes

exactly. It drives me mad when every new Cbeebies programme has to represent EVERY possible sector of society for fear of someone writing in to say they're not represented.. for example Balamory and that bloody awful new nonsense with some "Granny" or other who looks about 35 which I absolutely WILL NOT let mine watch- makes me want to VOMIT
bloody PCism.. has become a new form of division IMO

anyway

as we were saying

there are continual referances in thomas to "paying people out".

grr

I just don't like it

give me aurora and her TCS any day