What children's books make you skip bits when reading aloud?

[FrannyandZooey]

Following on from the fairy tales thread...

I presume everyone else finds themselves skipping bits in books that are too scary or otherwise unsuitable?

In preparation for a recent dentist's trip we borrowed some books about teeth etc, but didn't feel it necessary to introduce the idea of the drill to ds (age 3), so kept missing those bits out.

When we arrived for our appointment, we found an Usborne book about the dentist in the waiting room and dp started to read it to ds. The first child goes in and has a check up, but the second child needs a filling which took about 4 pages to describe. So dp's rendition went something like this:

"Well done Lucy, your teeth are great," said the dentist. Then it was Tom's turn to sit in the chair."

long pause

"Er...Oh. Erm, Tom's teeth were fine too."

"Ah! Then they all said goodbye to the dentist and went home."

have realised something

Its books aimed at boys that are most often dire, isn't it?

Thomas and postman pat.

I simply refused to read the Mr Men books, and 'lost them' as soon as they arrived in the house.

I enjoyed reading Harry Potter. Dd is now old enough to read to herself.....she is reading Phillip pulman atm.

ds isn't a good reader and, like many boys, doesn't like story books, but prefers factual stuff. Now I'm fond of facts myself but somehow reading a factual book aloud just seems odd and lacks 'reader satisfaction'. The usbourn books bore me fartless, if I am honest

Filly, you may have hit on something. Do boys hate story books because the ones wriiten for them as such a pile of shit?

The only ones I really like were the little red train books, and TBH that was because of the pictures not the text!

LOL yes dp and I have often let our minds drift and let a few "little brown girl" references slip in. I had never thought of crossing them out though

Ivor is fab

Franny I drewjan pienowski inspired sillohettes over them instead, does that help at all?

Did you look at Harry Clarke yet? I am just wanting to show you things this morning

Hans Christian Andersen illustrations

Don't look at the Faust ones unless you are feeling very brave

ooh very nice

on my list

its a little like studio ghlil, isn't it

Ooh, a new name

Slightly early?

yes i have been thinking

there are quite a lot of non violent fairy stories really

there is the emperors new clothes, aladin...um...

no have decreed thus

so its ok

Yes ds likes Emperors New Clothes and it has a great message, unlike Princess and the Pea

oh we have thread bleed again, this keeps happening

Ugly Duckling

RICHARD SCARRY! God I hate Cars and Trucks and Things that Go.

I like richard scarry

Filly, JK Rowling does what? Talks about littlebrowngirls, defacesbooks or wavesgolliwogs about?
I remember an early postman pat book that mil bought from a boot sale that was not only generally dire but also had reference to a "rabbiting knife" .
(Must confess though to really liking the television series of Postman Pat....)

I have also had to ban The Tale of Mr Tod which is appallingly grisly. We have it on a story tape and dp always forgets not to put Mr Tod on

Oh I knowwhat youmeanabout fire APPLIANCES!I still have troublewithFIREFIGHTERS - okay, I know it's more pc butwhat is so demeaning about firemen and fireladies?

Ds adores all that language in Thomas, learning all the names, the swearing "cinders and ashes" and all the technical bits, the naughtiness.

But thank goodness for Julia Donaldson, Lynley Dodd and Jez Alborough for providing books that all children love which are interesting to read.

Mr Men books are a pile of shit really aren't they!

firewomen, at the very least...

Yes, but little children say ladies, don't they?

mine don't

mine won't if i can help it. (although i do like the word ladies, but only in the context of knitting and coffee mornings - it's not really for putting out fires.)

Not bcs it's unsuitable, but bcs it does my head in, Milly Molly Mandy.
The names! It's 'Milly', 'Susan' and 'Jilly' in our house.
I also try to skip the bit when the whole bally family gets listed.
Bo-ring.