Recommended books on improving non existent self esteem/ self confidence/ assertiveness?

[PalaverParty]

Not sure if I should be posting on mental health forum or here. Apologies if wrong. Have posted there as well.

I have literally very low self esteem. I have suffered from it since I was a wee girl and cant remember a time where i felt good about just being who I am. As a result of this and I guess other things I also have Social Anxiety Disorder too. I really dont like myself and want to change desperately. I know it will be very hard but I dont want to just accept this.

So can anyone recommend a useful book on improving self esteem/ self confidence and assertiveness?

TIA

Dear Palaver

I've posted on your other thread, but am pasting my reply here too:

Firstly, you're already on the way to changing things by recognising that you have low self-esteem and being prepared to do something about it.

A book which is often suggested is A Woman in Your Own Right: Assertiveness and You by Anne Dickson. It's out of print now but available second hand from Amazon.

However, I can thoroughly recommend Brene Brown's writing, especially The Gifts of Imperfection, subtitled 'Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to be and Embrace Who You Are'. Her TED talk on vulnerability is one of the most watched TED talks, so you might like to check that out too. And associated with the book I've mentioned, she set up an art-journalling course which she describes in a video clip here . I can personally vouch for the course being incredibly effective, enjoyable and a different way to explore your challenges.

Hope this helps. You are not alone, so come back here and share your progress. Be kind to yourself!

Sijeunessesavait

Thank you for your reply. I have ordered a second hand copy of Anne Dickinson's book and will be ordering Brene Brown's book this evening too. I have also watched a couple of her TED talks as you suggested. Some interesting points she addresses.
Ive had a look at the course too. Is it something that is beat done alongside the book or separately after? It would be nice to know if others are also reading these books so we can share the journey together and give support etc.

Thanks once again for your reply. Really appreciate it.

*best done

Hello again

I had already read some of the book last year when the art journaling course was announced, but found that the different art projects attached to each chapter made me see what I'd read in a different light, and doing the art somehow reinforced what I had read/was reading.

For example, one task was to write on my hand the words: 'I'm imperfect and I am enough' and then take a photo of myself holding up my hand. I had to laugh when I recognised my inability to be satisfied with the first picture I took, and my need to get the best picture possible

I did the course with my daughter and we both enjoyed looking at the online boards where fellow imperfect artists posted their pictures and words. Lots of support and a real sense of community. It was very affirming!

As an aside, you might find it helpful to talk about your low self-esteem and anxiety to a counsellor. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to put everything right!

Good luck!

Thrive

Emotional Blackmail by Susan Forward butnuts depends why you have low self-esteem in the first place. LOw self-esteem always happens when you atecinder mining your own integrity or allowing someone to cross your boundaries, stop that and your self-esteem will go through the roof. This is from experience. Hope you feel better soon

Ellie

Yes that is so true about crossing boundaries. I certainly do let people cross boundaries and not stick up for myself and then feel annoyed at myself and not the other person!

Hi PalavarParty,

Hope you are getting stronger in yourself.

Here is a short, simple, easy to remember book, using letters of the alphabets to pep you up.

You can read it on the go on your phone or tablet:

mmec.selz.com/item/54ecf145b7987206e8a73a57

Enjoy. Stay strong,

Sade Tolani

Feel the fear and do it anyway - a classic, but brilliant.