Fiction cliches you hate

[SPBInDisguise]

I read mostly crime and thriller.
Can't bear books that take the first hundred pages to describe the landscape. Thick frost, frozen lake, snowy trees, onto the action please.
Detectives that drink lots of coffee and work all night but somehow seem to actually work very little

[Salmotrutta]

I had long coltish legs once ...

[MrsMaryCooper]

But she is only a tiny bit special!

And surely everyone would find her irrestistible but clearly some think that she is horrible! Debbie & Sandra Pelt for two.The specialness should trump gender but it doesn't.

[StairsInTheNight]

i need to read the clan of the cave bear thread. I have much to say about huge members.

[Trills]

They never get health and safety certificates for their cupcakes either.

[Primadonnagirl]

My god LRD !!!! I've done it again...are we twins separated at birth???,,

[Salmotrutta]

I'd love to show the thread but I haven't work out how to do links yet on the iPad.

I think if you searched "Clan of The Cave Bear" back in about June (ish) you might find it?

[LRDtheFeministDude]

I do hope so prima - though I pity you if you're identical to me, since I have Strong Family Resemblance (phrasing courtesy of Trills's link) to my own brother, so you really don't want to look like me ...

I'm up for a good clan of the cave bearing too, please link, if someone has it?

[Salmotrutta]

To be fair it wasn't a particularly long or thrilling thread ...

[Trills]

I can't find it - if it was in Chat it will have disappeared.

[PatFenis]

The use of 'sardonic smile' makes me irrationally angry

[MorrisZapp]

University lecturers staying away from home 'at conference' must have adulterous sex in their hotel room.

Actually, I don't hate that at all, it makes me want to go 'to conference' myself.

[Salmotrutta]

Ah! Of course ... It was Chat.



Never mind.

Ayala would just invent something to make it all better.

[Salmotrutta]

Ayala bloody well invented everything.

Apart from Jondalar's Spear Thrower.

[GrendelsMum]

LRD - Although bizarrely enough I do know a beautiful young woman with flowing hair and long legs who sold the cosmetics business she ran from the kitchen table from her country cottage for a sizeable sum of money. She might have flowing chestnut locks, but she negotiated with the lawyers like a tiger on steroids. They didn't know what had hit them.

[Salmotrutta]

Ayla fgs!

[LRDtheFeministDude]

morris - I hear Kalamazoo is good for that.

Ayla was irritatingly perfect. I think she fits the 'ugly duckling' cliche, right? Woman who is very beautiful but the ugly, violent, and (oh-so coincidentally) swarthy folks she's with just aren't enlightened enough to see it.

[Trills]

Jondalar's spear...

[LRDtheFeministDude]

grendel - wow. Goes to show we shouldn't mock, I guess!

[Salmotrutta]

I also hate the incredibly stupid hero/heroine who absolutely must enter the creepy old building alone.

Stupid feckers.

[carlywurly]

Anyone being jolted from a reverie makes my teeth itch..

[GrendelsMum]

LRD - yes, I thought you'd like to hear about that!

[Salmotrutta]

Yes, "jolted" suggests they have had 240 volts passed through them.

[StairsInTheNight]

Ayla had a magic fanjo, she gave birth at 11 to a massive headed child and yet IIRC it did that milkmaid squeezing of Jondalars giant penis.

[Salmotrutta]

[MsNobodyAgain]

Crime fiction. There is always one bent policeman, another that is a sexist rude idiot and a female that everybody lusts after but is a bit 'damaged'.

And most pathologists are women who live alone apart from having a cat or dog.