Cringe-making badly written sex scenes

[NoraHelmer]

I've just read the worst ever so far - Jenny Colgan's Welcome to Rosie Hopkins' Sweet Shop of Dreams. Why why why? Now I feel nauseous :o

Haven't read that but have definitely certain sex scenes that have me squirming... it's the ones that make you blush that get me... I am not an easily embarassable (is that word) person..

Oh my..that's squirming for all the WRONG reasons btw!

Well, im not going to be reading them but i can guarantee the ones in Fifty Shades of Grey are utterly toe-curling.

Itis the most god-awful writing, knew before the end of thefirst paragraphi couldnt read it, did actually go on for twenty odd pages, chin on my
lap that such awful, awful writing had been published.

Anyway, after the first paragraph i googled the book thinking perhaps it was some elaborate hoax and found out that this book is apparently filth. Now, i like a bit of filth as it happens but no way can i push on with this pile of trash.

Though i keep telling people to buy it so someone else can experience the chin-on-lap thing and i can say "see? SEE??"

So yeah, i recommend it highly.

fifty Shades of Grey

I've read that Jenny Colgan book but I can't for the life of me even remember a sex scene featuring in it, so I guess it couldn't have made me cringe

I picked up a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey in the supermarket, read the back, and put it back on the shelf :o. I don't mind a well-written bit of filth but stuff that makes me cringe with embarrassment because it's so badly written makes me want to rewind and skip the pages :o

picnicbasket - it's almost at the end after the Hunt Ball where Rosie races off drunk after Stephen then leaps on him, unzips his erm and has her wicked way with him in an armchair. Did you skip the pages? :)

Oh yeah! I read it when I hadn't slept properly for several nights in a row and clearly I wasn't paying enough attention or awake enough to take it in properly. I should read it again and see how cringey it is

I downloaded Fifty Shades of Grey to my Kindle to see how bad it is.. and so far, I agree with you. I haven't even got to the sex yet. Maybe I'm wrong but the shitness of a book seems to be directly related to how many times the writer puts the characters' names into the dialogue. Every other frickin line has 'Ana' in it. People simply do not say each others names that often in real life.

All of the sex scenes in The Slap were badly written.

She's trying to convince you that Ana isn't Bella, picnic. Yeahright. I thought it reeked as fanfic...

Go to dearauthor.com/features/industry-news/master-of-the-universe-versus-fifty-shades-by-e-l-james-comparison/ to see the giant ripoff factor. Master of the universe is still around for FREEEEE.

Didn't ALan Titchmarsh win an award once for the worst sexscene in a novel?

I have just downloaded fifty shades of grey and am now on chapter three and already bored with the characters, Ana is constantly putting herself down and swooning over Mr Gray, no not like twilight at all hope it gets better, I only ordered it to see what all the fuss is about!

I think he did MrsRD. There's an annual award for the worst sex scene, I forget the name.

Shuddering at the thought of Alan Titchmarsh and sex in the same sentence :o

Oh I have just posted mine on a thread I started about Sidney Sheldon - it is in Mistress of the Game ghostwritten as SS by Tilly Bagshawe.

'When she peeled off her panties to reveal a neatly trimmed rust-red bush, a pungent whiff of rotting fish assaulted Robbie's nostrils. He felt the bile rise in his throat.'

Oh dear god that is horrible !!

I somehow read all of Fifty Shades of Grey... I shan't bother with the sequels.

whackamole... eeeurgh.

I downloaded this book after all the hype. It is actually so badly written that it is boring, I have got to the point where I cannot even be bothered to go on, it is that bad. Sex scenes are not too bad it's just the rest of it, why is this such a phenomenon, it's Godawful, what's with all the 'crap', 'holy crap' etc etc