Recommended Parenting Books

[trixiebell]

I am a Postnatal Discussion Leader trainee for the National Childbirth Trust. Can anyone recommend any parenting books for parents?

There are so many out there I am finding it hard to choose

Thanks

'Toddler Taming' by Dr Christopher Green - such sensible advice from a GP dad who's seen it all.

PLEASE NOT Gina Ford, I'd say 50% of readers are in tears before they've even finished it. Try instead Dr Harvey Karp's 'Baby Bliss'.

For Dads for fun: 'The Best a Man Can Get' by John O'Farrell

It's not for babies, but form about 4yr old, I really recommend Libby Purves' "Natures Masterpiece". Lovely book, full of sensible advice and stories, not ram it down your throat or with any personal agenda and also very funny. I read it when my eldest was still a toddler and it really made me look forward to the older childhood years.

50% seems a bit high!

Actually this list is very good...

I rate "How to talk so your children listen and listen so your children talk" (iirc!) and their book on siblings is very good too.

Sorry but I LOVE Gina Ford, within reason I think it is the best book I have ever used.

I love Gina Ford too, but I reckon you have to be a second time parent to have the confidence to ignore what the HV's are telling you and go with Gina.

Love Christopher Green. I always read his toddler taming when I feel like the worst mother in the world. It helps me put things into perspective.

Hate Traci Hogg - far worse IMO than Gina Ford for making you feel inadequate.

I hate Gina Ford. You feel inadequate just looking at the cover of her book. I quite like Tracey Hogg (though dp thinks her book is patronising). You have to pick what you want from The Baby Whisperer; as a first time mum I found her table interpreting baby body language invaluable.

I love Toddler Taming by Christopher Green but wasn't so hot on Babies! by the same author, which was fine, just not very helpful.

A good book to read once the baby has come along is Wipe (sorry, don't remember the author's name) which is just a book of parent's anecdotes, but has some helpful tips and isn't pushing any particular barrow. Instead it is more of a "chill out, it happens to all of us!" type book, and we can all use one of those!

No cry sleep solution is a nice reassuring read if nothing else. Don't mind Gina Ford - as a first time mum it really does help to be told what a baby's day should be like even if the book is then thrown away and largely ignored. Tracy Hog has some nice sections on interacting with baby.

I really liked What to Expect: the Toddler Years. It covers absolutely everything and tied in well with my own philosophy.

They also have a version for pregnancy and baby's first year, the latter of which I haven't read.

The Secret of Happy Children by Stephen Biddulph
Toddler Taming by Christopher Green
The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pather (?)
Parenting for Dummies is a good basic start and has a great 'yes/no' chart that tears out for establishing why baby might be crying

What to Expect: The toddler years is good but the WTE:Pregnancy and WTE:The first year are very preachy

As others have said, I liked the 'interpretting babies cues' in The Baby Whisperer but found it far too regimented on the whole.

An oldie but a goodie - Penelope Leach's book - Baby and Child was my favourite. Very child centred but also quite mother centered too.

I would also recommend "A Life's Work" by Rachel Cusk - not a parenting book but very comforting when you are having one of those constant crying/ breastfeeding/ knackered days - you can read it and think "Well at least it was bad for her too .."

not strictly a "parenting" book but something that really helped me in the first few months was "Babywatching" by Desmond Morris. its a pop anthropology book

the yehudi gordon book "birth and beyond" on pregnancy and first 9 months is also great antidote to Gina Ford.

borrowed a friends copy of toddler taming and foudn it v sensible and good humoured

"even if the book is then thrown away and largely ignored" but even putting it down makes you feel like a failure! See, 50/50 love / hate Gina Ford.

I'd also recommend a couple of hypnotic videos for babies for the desperate parent in search of half an hour's peace and quiet:
*Baby Mozart Music Festival
*Sing & Sign
Both quite expensive but worth every penny and you'll become very familiar with some great tunes.

I would recommend any introduction of books to have a very strong warning that they are not manuals .. that is why there are so many on the shelf because nobody has the answer

learning to read your child is very important and sometimes you need to throw away all the books and just listen to your gut and your baby

I liked

What to expect .. you can dip in and out
Baby Whisperer .. I liked the charts on how to understand the signals of a newborn / young baby
A Best Friend's Guide to Pregnancy .. made me giggle
Toddler Taming .. reinforces stuff you know works

I think if Tanya Bryer ever brought out a book .. I'd go for that

I hate Gina Ford .. I think its prescriptive and dangerous and for every parent it helped (because their baby naturally liked routines) I think there's 5 parents it damaged

But MOST IMPORTANT .. the advice that no book will do it for you is vital

The biggest help I've found is MUMSNET! Books are written from the perspective of a very limited number of people whereas MN is endless (almost). (saying that I have got a few parenting books myself - which I've read and selected the parts relevant to myself and my situation - it'd be great if it were 'one size fits all' but sadly it's sooooo much harder than that).

Thank you to all of you that have replied so far. I will be reading Gina Ford, purely becuase I never read it when my two boys born and I think it will help my understand why some people hate it.

Keep the suggestions coming - there are a great help !

oliviab i've never been quoted before even in a bad way! thing is even if you just pick up one piece of good advice from a book it can be worth it imo. Agree with twiglet that books are not manuals and would add that if anyone is in a fragile state in the early weeks then most books on parenting could leave them feeling inadequate (thats why I like no cry sleep solution because it doesn't have that affect).

Trixiebell, as you are an NCT postnatal discussion leader, you HAVE to read Gina Ford and Baby Whisperer for the simple reason they are on so many new mum's bookshelves.

But they espouse the conventional view of routine-based parenting - which is at one end of the spectrum and doesn't work for all babies. You have to read parenting books on the other end of the spectrum as well. Like those on demand-led, attachment parenting - Any of the titles by Dr Sears is helpful.

If I had to advise a new parent, I would say throw out all the books and follow your instinct. Otherwise read everything so you don't fall into the trap that one-moethod fits all (all authors will say of their method, well they have to).

The What to Expect series is good for pregnancy. But the baby/toddler editions were very worrying for me in relation to the milestones. Worst statement in that book was the one along the lines of "if your baby is hitting all his developmental milestones early, then he is more likely to be intelligent". Caused me endless worry because dd was late on almost all . Everything with a pinch of salt

Haven't read GF or BW, have dipped into What to Expect as was recommended it but I wouldn't sit and read whole sections (and agree with blueshoes about the reliance on milestones). However, I will be forever grateful when I woke one night with a very painful blocked duct so it was worth the money just for that one piece of info (ie what to do!)
DH is obsessed with buying books, so we also have the Dr Christopher Green book as it was recommended to him. Hated Miriam Stoppard childcare book but some people might find the photos useful.
I have also referred to NCT books on sleep, breastfeeding and weaning, all of which were useful. My favourite has been Kaz Cooke's Kidwrangling. This shouldn't make anyone feel inadequate - she has an honest and amusing style.
HTH

Love Libby Purves' books. She makes me laugh so much. I think looking on the lighter side of parenting and seeing the funny side of things really helpful.

PS Hate Gina Ford!!!

Agree though. You are probably best reading as many as you can then you will know what they are about if anyone in your group comments on one or asks what they are like.

Trixie-speak to Alex at NCT Ceredigion-she is fantastic and will give you loads of ideas