Can anyone help re overweight 13 year old girl?

[Pumphreydidit]

I am worried about my daughter who is a little overweight and who has been put on a restricted 'healthy eating' programme by her school.
I am working with the school and have introduced low fat/ low sugar/ carb as well as portion control.

It is all my fault as we were stuck in our house for weeks during the snow and unable to get to the shops so I ended up using all the ingredients I had to cook for us all. The road was only opened again three weeks ago.

Can anyone recommend a book on healthy eating for children as she sees this dietary change as a punishment (despite my reassurances). She has profound learning difficulties and will steal food. She responds well to illustrations and I could help her understand why certain foods are not good for her.

I do not want her to develop a negative issue about food for obvious reasons but am struggling to help her. We have completely altered our family diet to help her so we all eat the same food but she is not allowed tuck at school nor treats like birthday cake etc and feels excluded.

Sorry this is so clumsy but I just want to help her. She is 9stone 7lbs and 5foot 2.

How do her learning difficulies affect her life? I am thinking aswell as changing her diet how about introducing some exercise?

Could you go on a family bike ride, borrow a dog to walk?, go swimming?

Moving more and eating less will have a bigger impact.

Good luck.

Does she look overweight? I ask because adult weigth/height ratios don't really apply to teenagers. Unless she's slightly built that sounds about right, doesn't it? 9.5 stone at 5'2?

Maybe she needs more exercise to tone up a bit?

She gets a lot of exercise eg swimming, skiing, cycling and she helps us a lot with all the animals we feed.
We take the youngest out in his buggy for long walks.

She has autistic tendencies and change upsets her plus she cannot understand that once you have eaten your meal that you do not keep eating. She hides all sorts of things like dried pasta or marzipan so I stopped buying these sorts of things and have had to search her stash places. (the marzipan was a one off for Christmas but it vanished)

She does not look overweight and she is growing very quickly so I am concerned that she is at a vulnerable stage.

Bumping but looking for something that can help her to understand food and quantities. She has an educational/ comprehension age of around 6 years old.

Since your daughter is only a little overweight it will be more effective to give her a healthier diet and increase exercise than it will be to drastically cut her intake or deny her all the treats. Then she'll have the right nutrition to support her activity and growth and she won't feel like she's being deprived. NB Low carb is not appropriate for a child.

So try to fill her up with naturally low-cal & naturally filling foods. Vegetables, for example, are extremely filling but low calorie so if she doesn't find her meals filling enough, add a lot more vegetables to it or even offer snacks of cut up vegetables later on. Fresh fruit is another good choice but, because fruit is a little higher in calories per 100g than vegetables, you can't go too mad on the stuff. Wholemeal bread, pasta and brown rice, because of the fibre content, will fill someone up for longer than white bread, white pasta and white rice. Lean meat, fish, beans etc. Rather than 'low fat' go with grilled, steamed & poached rather than fried.

If 90% of her diet is healthy and nutritious then she can easily afford the occasional piece of cake or chocolate like everyone else.

This website can give you some ideas on a) what is a normal healthy weight and b) how many calories a child of a particular age and size needs

www.bcm.edu/cnrc/bodycomp/bmiz2.html

Re understanding food and quantities. It might be an idea to get hold of a 'diet plate'.... a children's version of this one 4.bp.blogspot.com/_clpusC4jjCE/R-5PNcHCaQI/AAAAAAAABBQ/7GW_WLnAz8s/s400/Female+Plate+master+n ew300DPI.jpg

The plate is split into sections each with a handy picture and it gives you a good visual idea on how much of what should go where. I would have thought that was ideal for a child.

Many thanks for your advice and the web link.

I always thought we had a fairly good diet and although my dd is a little overweight, it seemed to coincide with the onset of her menstruation so I wondered if her weight gain was hormonally linked.

Also the longer days are just round the corner so it is easier to spend more time outside on her trampoline or bike. It worried me that she began to pick at her food or fret about 'being fat' when this has never been mentioned to her by us.

I think you should follow your instincts, really. In my experience, children often plump up before a growth spurt. When periods start, girls will often acquire lumps and bumps. If we make too big an issue of being a few lbs overweight it can often make the situation worse rather than better.

Like I said.... the idea of more exercise, healthy swaps and just slightly smaller portion-sizes is going to be less distressing than what probably sounds like 'you are not eating cake ever again' to your daughter.

I would also have a firm word with her school since this seems to have been initiated there and it sounds like they're trying to crack a walnut with a sledgehammer. I would be worried that their 'restricted healthy eating programme' just means they are stigmatising her rather than helping.

Do the school have any authority to say that she can or can't have the odd treat?

Surely it is up to the parents to decide how their childrens meal are arranged.

If you think the odd bit of birthday cake with friends at school is OK and that you compensate at home - which is what you seem to be doing as you say the whole family has changed their diets - I don't think they school should be able to over rule you.

If they think the birthday cake and tuck at school are a major problem then it probably isn't just a problem for your dd and the school should stop/alter them for all pupils.

I have been in touch with the school again and managed to get this sorted out.

The whole issue has sprung from a misunderstanding and I think one member of staff acted in a way she saw best but had not realised how strongly it was affecting dd.

My biggest fear was that she was becoming very unhappy and eating furtively and I did not want her to feel any negative emotions when it came to eating especially when she ws not hugely overweight.

Thank you all for taking the time to answer this thread - it has been a big worry. Hopefully all will end well with common sense and more activity.

Glad you contacted the school. It's too often these days that someone goes on a healthy eating course for an afternoon and comes back behaving like Gillian McKeith.... Trust your judgement and good luck