when DS says 'please eat some mummy, I want to share with you'

[becstarlitsea]

How do I get around it? It's so adorable the way he wants to share his sweets and chocolate with me (always half for him and half for me), and he really is upset if I say no. He's 3 and a half.

And as my willpower isn't great where chocolate is concerned, I don't take much persuading to say 'yes'. I've lost a stone and a half over the past 6 months, and just want to lose eight pounds more to be the weight I was on my wedding day . It's that last stubborn half stone... And I really do want to lose it and get into some healthier habits so that it stays off. So suggestions please!

Should I plan for the fact that I'll likely eat some chocolate or sweets with DS at some point and eat less the rest of the day accordingly?
Is there something I can say to avoid hurting his feelings?
Or should I cut down his chocolate - but that seems unfair to me as he always wants to share it rather than being acquisitive, is verging on underweight, eats three big meals a day inc. all his vegetables and usually second and third helpings, is very active and sporty, and really loves chocolate?

Advice please!

Can't you try and explain that you are watching what you eat.
My DH is on a diet and so I have explained to my 4 year old that daddy needs to watch what he eats.
Could you not try and explain?
Or maybe when he shares it with you - you then say I will eat it later and put it away.
Although you will need to have willpower for that.

You are lucky though my 4 year old keeps her chocolate all to herself - if only she would offer me some

Hmm... I've said 'I'm not going to eat chocolate today' before and he's been very curious about why I wouldn't be eating chocolate and whether there's something wrong with eating chocolate. I'm a bit worried about giving him messages about dieting when he's so young.

Putting it away to eat later doesn't work - not because of willpower but because he is as much put out by the idea of me eating it by myself as by the idea of my not eating it at all. The whole pleasure for him is for us to sit and eat a treat together - he has the same attitude about mealtime too, always asks if I will sit up to the table and eat tea with him rather than eating with DH later (although he says 'But please do sit at the table when Daddy eats, because otherwise he might feel lonely.') He likes me to eat the same thing as him at the same time. But he is underweight and can't eat large portions because he's little, I like to give him some calorie-dense foods sometimes. And I'm trying to diet but like large portions so I want to eat lower calorie foods.

What I'm trying to say is that DS has great eating habits which I love, and I don't want to train him out of them just because I"m on a diet. But I equally don't want to end up overweight myself. Does that make sense?

Grateful to hear any thoughts on this one!

I don't really have any advice, but just wanted to say he sounds like a real sweetheart!

If I was you I'd probably plan to have these treats and eat less accordingly. I too would be wary of suggesting chocolate bad at this age or that you're on a diet.

good luck - not much more to lose!

Thanks PrivetDancer I agree, he is a sweetheart! And he's got such a great relationship with food and such a comfortable image of himself. There will be so many messages out there in the world for him to pick up about 'good' and 'bad' food and what the perfect body looks like etc., and I want the message at home to be simply 'Food is an enjoyable thing to be shared together when we are hungry'. Not something we deny ourselves of, gorge on when we're already full, or beat ourselves up for having eaten, or use to deal with our feelings.

I am really happy to be losing weight slowly and healthily and then I want to maintain my weight at a healthy level. If I hadn't developed a cycle of overeating followed by restrictive dieting myself as a teenager, I wouldn't have had this weight to lose now. So I want to build habits that are sustainable for the future and for DS to grow up seeing that stability.

Your suggestion might well be the best solution - to just accept that I need to set aside two or three points a day for potential 'gifts' from DS (am on WW), and/or try to get some extra bonus points during the day to make up for it. No problem with that today - walking with him to his football practice and back earns about 5 bonus points. So I can accept the half packet of Maltesers he's likely to foist on me on the way home

I'd actually cut down on his chocolates and sweets a little and offer him more things like dried and fresh fruit more instead. Raisins & grapes are really calorific if he needs to gain weight. You can enjoy small amounts of both at the same time.

And a polite, 'no thanks I'm just about to have my lunch/dinner' or 'that's nice of you to share but I just ate an apple' is fine when it comes to refusals another time.