Why do we overeat and get fat when we KNOW it will make us miserable?

[jasper]

Can anyone answer this question?

Why? Because it tastes so very nice and fills a ruddy great hole that you'd rather not deal with?

Oh yes, a Snack-a-Jack and a handful of raisins can never, EVER, taste as good as a big bar of Toblerone.

Also, these diet tips like 'if you have a takeaway or eat out go for the low fat, no mayo, no carb, no dessert option'. Sod that! If I'm having a takeaway then I want the full fat, MSG laden, carb ridden option that I love. Otherwise why bother having a takeaway or eating out at all?

Some people can do that and moderate their eating to take the occasional treat into account. It's a shame we need food at all or I would give it up completely. It would be so much easier than having to think about it all the time.

Is there anybody else who is thinking about seconds even before they've finished what's on their plate? I think about food a lot and don't take time to enjoy what I'm actually eating.

Spoyytmuldoon. That is EXACTLY how I feel about food. As I am eating it I am thinking about what I can eat next rather than just focussing on what I am eating at the moment

foxinsox - I think what you say about me being fat as a teenager is true. My identity is all tied uo with being overweight.

I do believe a lot of it is habiit but deeply ingrained habits are difficult to change.

Recently I have been bearing in mind something I read once. It was a book about weight and in it a woman who had been very overweight all her life and had been a member of the fat is beautiful movement in the US in the 80s. The author found when he visited her to interview her had that she had in fact lost quite a lot of weight.

In the book she talked about how in some ways losing the weight had made her life more difficult as she had been an icon for fat women and come in for some flack for losing the weight.

When asked how she lost the weight, she said it took her around 3 years and that all she had done was to just to roughly work out what she ate and shave a very small amout off it. No food combining, forbidden foods etc. She just ate tiny bit less but not so much less that she felt deprived.

Because she was still eating a lot she didn't lose loads but as her body adjusted she found she could eat a bit less and not feel deprived. As I said it took her about 3 years to lose most of it and another year to lose the final stone or so.

She just gradually gave up her addition to overeating. She had maintained her weight for 3 years at the time of the interview

I can see that really this is the only way I will lose the weight and keep it off. I have to give up the obsession with losing weight. I just have to want to stop overeating and being obsessed with food/weight.

If it means I will be overweight for the next 3 years but that I stop gaining weight or that I very slowly lose it ( and by slow I mean 1-2 lbs a month not a week) then so be it.

I know now that nothing else will work for me. No amont of "healthy eating" or exercising more.

Ddi anyone watch My Big Fat Diet Show that was on C4 over the past few weeks?
The ladt presenter was talking to various food scientists/psychologists (I have no idea who or what they actually were), and apparently it's not our fault for eating and craving these high fat and sugar foods.

It's to do with evolution, we needed the fat and sugar for energy when we were hunter/gatherers and are still programmed to want them now, even if we don't need them.
There's a reaction in our brain when we eat our 'comfort' food, which we just don't get when we eat an apple.

the food industry know this and a lot of time and money goes into making products and packaging that makes sure we come back fro more.

Though obviously we have a responsibility to try and eat healthily.

I've also been watching Paul McKenna on Living, and what he says makes absolute sense.
Eat when you're hungry, eat what you want, stop when you're full.

I would like to do Paul McKenna, but I alaways think that it won't work for me, that I can't eat what I want if I'm 'on a diet' becaue i should be eating low fat food and starving. This is why I struggle with my weight.

And also, we shouldn't be drinking diet drinks because when we taste a sweet taste our body expects the energy that comes with it, so if we don't get that energy ie from the diet drinks that have no sugar we will looko to eat something that will give us the energy.

I must cut down my obsessive diet coke habit....

very interesting responses.
Some of you definitely "get" what I am trying to say .

Bumbling, that is really interesting. I suppose it makes sense that if you shave off 50 calories a day or whatever then slowly over time you will lose weight.

For me the issue is restriction - I absolutely cannot bear to feel that I am depriving myself of the food that I want. It is easy to do that for a year or so to lose weight, but then it dawns on me that er actually I have to do this forever if I want to stay like this, and that is too much to take on, so i go back to overeating and the weight goes back on.

The real key has to be genuinely changing your lifestyle and attitude, something that i can't really do. So I go on a diet and then come off the diet and go back to "normal" which is all wrong.

Glad to know I am not the only one who eats whilst thinking about what and when i will eat next. It is truly bizarre.

I am a size 12 to 14, I exercise - I ran 10k today in 53 minutes which is about 5 mins slower than normal but haven't been out due to weather since before Christmas. Last year I completed a Quadrathlon. I CONSTANTLY have to watch what I eat. Always. Every single minute and meal. And quite frankly it is fucking boring and soul destroying. One week of kicking loose, having what I want, when can result in a 4 to 7lbs weight gain. I am not a greedy bag who eats McDonalds for breakfast but I do need to constantly watch and deny. It is shit. I can understand why folk can just stop trying. I could reach house proportions easily.

I don't get drunk. After a few drinks, I get tiddly. I don't like the feeling so I swap to soft drinks. Simples.

Eating is different. It's not as if you suddenly balloon up after eating a doughnut. If there was a more immediate correlation between eating and putting on weight then we would probably be more sensible about it.

I also have the problem that I have a stomach of infinite size. I seldom get the 'full up' feeling of which others speak.

Crackers I just noticed the last line of your post. It has taken me about 10 yours to not be planning what I will have for breakfast as my feet hit the floor.

i've been on every diet possible since i was 10. i came to the realisation a few months ago that they honestly are a waste of time and money and work for only a handful of people i still eat the same food i normally do, but just halve the portions and add more veg or salad as i had the habit of putting the same amount on my plate as dh who is a big grown man. my appetite has decreased and i find that i now think twice before eating something, but won't deny myself a chocolate if i really want one. why try and eat different food to your family and would you want to for the rest of your life? it is completely unrealistic and rather look at the long term than short term fixes as they don't last. i have days where i slip up, but as i'm not on a fixed eating plan, i try and eat better the next day and don't feel like a failure, the old "i'll start again next monday or new years". i also made a list of healthy food that we as a family actually like eating and refer to this when i'm stuck for what to make for lunch or dinner. i have lost just over 2 stone so far, so definitely vote for healthy eating over restricted diets

premise is erroneous.no one answer to a complex human issue

food isnt solely nutrition,it can be multi-faceted.food is so often symptomatic of other deep rooted malaise eg self worth

english is only my second language, so someone is going to have to translate

I have recently lost 3 stone and was going great then had a break over christmas and put on a few pounds and am now finding it hard to get back on the wagon. I have 10 stone to lose so still have 7 to go and its damn hard. I think I eat to fill a hole, it calms me down and numbs me so I dont have to deal with whatever it is thats trying to come out.

I know all this logically in my brain but it doesnt stop the behaviour. I can sympathise with Gomez as thats how I have spent my whole life and how I am going back to being now I am trying to shift the weight. I cant remember a time when I didnt eat secretly or shamefully so I guess its embedded pretty deep.

People have sympathy for alcoholics and other addicts but over eaters are just told to stop eating so much and move about more which doesnt deal with the real reason you eat. No one gets to a huge size because they were just hungry-its not about the food.

This is the cycle thats so hard if not impossible to break because even when you 'know' it you cant always stop it.

Well thats my theory anyway jasper-dont know if its what you are looking for?

I've tried something which seems to be working for me. I have cut back on wheat. I eat wheat free bread, pasta, cakes & biscuits. I have found I have loads more energy, don't think about food constantly or crave more. I have eaten a bit more chocolate BUT have still lost 4or5 pounds in 10 days.I have read that wheat is addictive & can cause other addictions. I don't exercise at all (can't be bothered) and have dd's aged 21mths, 5 and 6.Wheat free bread is bloody expensive but it satisfies me & I don't keep eating it unlike other bread. Also wheat free biscuits don't make me want to eat the whole packet. LOL. If anyone tries it let me know how you get on.

Because

1. It is the "sweetener" (no pun intended) in stuff I really don't want to do- so I do the accounts if I can eat some cola bottles at the same time

1. Because I am feeling a bit bored.

1. Because I am preggers and cannot drink (which I was hoping I would miraculously go off but unfortunately not the case- I WANT MY SAUVIGNON BLANC GOD DAMMIT!!)so i am compensating with a pkt of Tim tams

I know 100% what stuff I should be eating. I just don't. I am quite lucky in that I do a lot of weight training so have a high metaboilism but I still feel bad for eating it when my friends live on cous cous and steamed fish.

Unborn child will probably be born a sugar addict thanks to me.....but at least not pickled.

scientifically speaking :

We are genetically programmed to eat fat to build up our stores - that's why it tastes so good.

There is an abundance of food and so we eat much more than we need and expend very little gathering it.

Some people have less of an urge, some have the added issue of further emotional issues with food. Maintaining the will power not to over eat and totally transform eating habits is extremely difficult.

try to be more healthy in small ways that you enjoy as opposed to aiming to lose weight - then you cant fail but even if you only change a little you are that little bit healthier.

The question will be answered differently be every person who reads it as each has their own private struggle and each 'thin' person has their own perception of what it is like to be overweight.

Sugar is addictive
Food can block out emotional pain
Diets don't work - any lasting weight loss needs to be from a change of lifestyle not a 'diet', which will, by definition, end. A lifelong diet would be total misery.
People might be interested to look up Overeaters Anonymous - it helped me a lot allthough there were aspects which annoyed me. (Was size 20 and around for several years, have been size 10-12 for last 6 years)

Another book which gives a great insight to how your mind works is "Overcoming Overeating" by Gillian Riley. She looks at food as an addiction and how your mind subsequently responds and behaves to addictive eating. I found it an absolutely fascinating read with about 100 light bulb moments as i read it. It was quite a confronting book because it revealed a lot about my behaviour which was uncomfortable to face yet I know it needs to be faced and acted upon to change the way I view and react to food.

Why do I always kill threads???!!!
I would love some more comment on this topic as I think it's SSOOOO important to understand how your mind works-it's a bit of a bugger really(your mind that is). Often feel like there is a little devil in my head at times.... (well most of the time really)
Get thee out Satan