Why am I so crap at losing weight?

[SpookyFuckingChar]

I just cant do it.

I hate the way I look and I really want to look good and feel sexy but I just look like a fat blob.

I look at photos of myself and i hate every bit of myself.

I have a very intense session with a personal trainer once a week but that doesnt seem to be giving me any results in the way of weight loss or looking slimmer.

I really do try to diet but I just cant do it. I have no motivation and end up bingging on crap.

Its quite depressing. Im trying but not really getting anywhere.

If anyone could give me some advice it would be greatfully recieved.

excuse my username for that post.... i forgot to change it from a silly thread last night.

Well...
You've said it yourself. You have no motivation, and you're quite possibly depressed with all that's going on in your life. Somehting has to 'click' before you can successfully lose weight ime. I have lost weight after both dc, but both times it's taken time to get to the right head space. With dd I had lost the weight by 10 months, with ds it's taken a little longer and I am finally back ot the right size now he's 18 months. Both times it's taken 2 months to lose over 2 stone (closer to three if I'm honest).
The diet that has worked for me is India and Neris's Idiot Proof Diet. Basically it's a low carb, high protien plan. I get an awful lot of exercise every day just walking around with my buggy we drop dd off at school and I hike all over the city with ds until it's time to pick her up. Sounds mad really but the fresh air does us both good, and we stop for lunch and to take him to the park, etc. It is much easier now I am a sahm rather than when I was at uni when dd was tiny (iirc you are at uni too?)
One personal trainer session a week won't be too effective I'd have thought, especially if you are strugglign with your diet. I remember you said you don't eat very well yourself, spending money to get the dc nice food instead. Try and change that for a start. Really think about why you wan tto lose weight, and get going. I know a lot of people wait til after christmas, but really if you start somehting now you could lsoe half a stone which would be a brilliant start. With me, losing weight both times has been far more of an emotional thing than I had realised too. I felt bloody terrible about myself when I was carrying extra weight, and as it has come off I have felt better and better about myself.
If I were you, I'd have a read up on the different diets you think you might be able to deal with and decide which one to stick to. I think the easy trap to fall into is to do a week or so, get disheartened that you aren't instantly skinny and give up. I think on the idiot proof diet that has never been a problem for me - I never go hungry and the results speak for themselves. My main motivation was that I wanted some self esteem back - it's tough on your own with 2 children and I'm in the same boat. Now, I am 2 stone lighter than I was 2 months ago and for the first time in absolutely ages I am going out with a group of friends this weekend and will actually enjoy myself rather than worrying what a blob I am. That makes it all worth it imo

I had/have PND but have come off the drugs.... Im trying to change my lifestyle in order to sort it out which does seem to be working but not 100%.

Im at uni 2 days a week but Im trying to take a packed lunch rather thaan joining the others in the bakers the sausage rolls are to die for lol but I spose i wont get anywhere if i keep eating them.

I hadnt done any exercise for 3 years so the personal trainer said to take it one step at a time.... he has told me now 6 weeks in that I should be doing more outside the class so i was thinking of going swimming one day a week and attempting to do a dvd on the other days.
foodwise.... i do cook fresh but i dont know if its alwaays that healthy.

The reason i want to lose weight is i spose to give myself a bit of self value and worth.... I dont really like the way i look at the moment and I would really like to start dating again but wouldnt have the confidence with the way i look. I know that people will say that i should be loved for what i am not what i look like but if i dont like myself how can i expect anyone else to. (i expect i sound like a total nutter!)

I agree with starting now.... i dont want to wait untill after christmas.... its just another delay.

thankyou so much for taking the time to reply and your kind words. I will take a look at that diet.... i was also thinking maybe slimming world might be an idea to help me with motivation.... i also always feel guilty when i dont lose weight which kind of helps if that makes any sense.

thanks again.

No problem. I;ll be your diet buddy I am hoping to lose about another stone now.
Fwiw, I also have PND. Are you sure coming off the meds is the best thing for you? I am on trazodone for depression and anxiety and it's a pretty hardcore med, I take it before I go to bed and it zonks me lol but it means I feel normal tbh. I actually htink that it may have helped me get the drive to lose weight as I was prescribed it about a month before I started. Worth looking into your meds I think, and if your depression may actually be a barrier to you losing weight.
I have friends who have done slimming world with great success. I have never done it as I can't get to the meetings and don't fancy paying every week tbh.
Is there any way you could factor in more exercise? I am guessing pushing a double buggy would give you a damn good workout. Is there a gym on campus? On your other thread I know I told you to look into the Access to Learning Fund. If you get a grant from them (and tbh you would be eligable for a sizeable amount if you apply, I can help with the application, I filled out plenty of them ) you could put it towards a gym pass. I for one loathe the gym. It is hard though because once the dc are in bed I am in no mood to do a DVD or whatever which is why I try and get as much exercise as I can in the daytime. I think I have heard of GPs being able to 'prescribe' free gym sessions as well, so that might be worth looking into.

Ok diet buddy
I was on citalopram and it turned my life into a living hell.... for a while it made me feel ok and i thought it wsa working but it had given me anxiety problems and Im preety sure it is in some way responsible for some of my weight gain. Having come off of it i have realised how horrible the stuff was.
The exercise I am doing has made a huge differece in terms of my moods.... the dr said it would so im pleased in that sense... i just wish it would have other results that were visible to others.

I have done sliiming world when i was about 16 and lost 1 stone on it so i know it works, my sister has lost 3 stone on it too. I find her quite difficult too.... she turns everything into a competition and since loseing weight and being closer in size to me has made me very aware of this, which doesnt help when your already feeling low.
I think there is a gym at one of the campuses at uni but i commute there (to bridgwater from bristol) so it wouldnt be that worth while as im only there 2 days a week.
thats not a baad idea about the drs.... my sisters got her free slimming world sessions lol so i might be bale to look in that as i know my bmi is over the reccomended level.

thanks

SpookyC, I guess you're doing DVDs excercise out of convenience (i.e. you can do it at home etc.) IMHO it doesn't work - too easy to get out of. Could you get a walking buddy instead?

Am heading to bed, but wanted to say I was on citalopram for a week before I had to come off it becasue it made my anxiety horrendous. Like I couldn't leave the house. It was awful. Trazodone works for me, and it helps me sleep, as my insomnia was making my depression worse.
Do talk all this over with your GP, especially as your stress levels are about to go up I would imagine with a new term approaching.
I started out at 14 stone 5 which I was truly shocked at. I am now just under 12 stone which is still too much really, but it is what I weighed before I got pg with ds and makes me a 12-14 as opposed to the size 18 I was. I can't tell you how good it's been to get back in my jeans and throw away all my fat clothes.
If you get time, try and make yourself 2 lists. One with reasons to stay fat. One with reasons to get thin. You might be surprised. I realsied I was almost unconsciously staying fat to try and make myself invisible. It was almost a security banket if you like. My exdp left when I was pg with ds and tbh it pretty much destroyed me and shattered my confidence. I think staying fat was my way of not really dealing with the hurt. By losing that weight it's kind of my way of telling myself I'm ready to move on, if that makes sense?

Yes yey yes to the walkign buddy btw. I have a friend I do a mammoth walk with a couple of times a week. She's my best friend and has waiting forever for her job in the prison service to come through. I'll miss her when it does and I have to walk by myself again! Buggyfit might be worth looking into as well, I know there's a group around here.

Have you had your thyroid tested, charlotte?

I ask because I was diagnosed with PND and found it incredibly difficult to lose weight; no energy etc.

Turns out I have an underactive thyroid, and am now on thyroxetine instead of the God-awful prozac they gave me.

It's early days, but I have lost more weight since taking them (still loads to go)- weight gain can be a symptom of underactive thyroid.

I'm probably barking up the wrong tree, but it may be worth asking the GP to test your thyroid function in order to rule it out...

And good luck with the weight loss

I split with exp when ds was 9 months and i was pregnant with dd so i know where your coming from on that one..... although it ws my choice it still was a really really baad time for me.

I dont really know anyone in this area but I have started going to the drop in at the local childrens centre to try and make more friends so i could walk there twice a week. Not sure how long it would take me but i think google gives you an indicator of walking.

I really do want to lose weight so maybe im almost holding myself back incase i fail iygwim.
thanks guys!

oooh just took a look on google maps and there is a short cut that i can take so that instead of the walk taking me nearly 45 mins it will now take me 5!!!
I wouldnt have looked if no one had mentioned it so thanks!!!! Im not the most organised of people so 45 mins would have been out of the question... i can always walk home the longer way

I will ask the dr about a thyroid test. had loads of blood tests for my liver a while back from glandular fever complications so im not sure if they would have checked it then.