Posted a number of times on this name about my binge eating. My last post was a very positive one. But this week my new counsellor is on holiday and I have just let everything slide. I am generally over eating - 3 meals a day plus junk. Which I guess is slightly better than JUST junk which I have done in the past. But its so frustrating to make the proper nutriious meals and then STILL binge. I feel like such a fat fucked up cow. I want to chop all the fat off. I haven't done any exercise either. Every night I think "tomorrow will be different" but its not, its the same. I am so full of good intentions. Having had an eating disorder all my life I know all their is to know about eating properly, I could write the book on it. Sometimes I wish I was anorexic again so I could be thin. But then I know my quality of life was worse then than it is now. I can't believe I used to be anorexic when I look at how I eat now. I am so fucked up.
How the hell am I supposed to get back on track? I am so terribly ashamed of what I have become.
Its easy to think how good I will be tomorrow now, when I am sitting here feeling full. Tomorrow when I am craving those foods - its hard. Giving up smoking was nothing compared to this!