please help me lose weight!! Any advice much appreciated ( poss long, sorry)

[cordonbleugh]

I'll try to keep this as short as possible but bear with me.

I'm 5 ft, weigh about 12 stone, and am size 14-16 (obviously differs in different shops as well grrr). 36DD.

I used to be a size 6

I'm a very fussy eater, but it's not just pickyness, it's a phobia, I physically cannot put the food in my mouth - when I try, I shake, get hysterical, and often cry, sometimes even makes me wretch. I can't control it.

I can't eat any healthy food. I can't eat vegetables, salad, pasta, rice, anything with tomatoes in ( so no sauces etc.) don't like any sauces at all, which rules out sandwiches with mayo etc. on.

I can only eat chicken (no skin), beef, pork, lamb, cod. The foods I do like, I'm fussy with too. For example, I can only eat chips if they are soft, mash potato if it has no lumps.

My diet mainly consists of variations of cheese ( only cathedral city cheddar, silly, I Know), bread (only white), potatoes, crisps(only salt and vinegar) pineapple ( on cheese on toast/pizza) sometimes grapes, chocolate, cornflakes(only crunchynut).

That's basically it!! Also, I only drink pure apple juice, hate the taste of water, and it seems to make me even more thirsty for some reason. No tea or coffee, and can't drink milk ( only have it on cereal, and then only one brand of semi-skimmed). I can't stand fizzy drinks(which is the only good thing really!).

Because of my weight, I don't like to go out much. I'm barely active, which upsets me because it's surely affecting my DD.

For the record - I cook very healthy meals from scratch, with fresh ingredients and lots of variety and flavour for DD(3).

It's come to the point where I'm looking at all the lovely food I cook her, and I sooo wish I could sit down and enjoy it with her. But I can't .

I see all the other mums who are all lovely and slim and think "why me?!". Why couldn't I keep my figure.

Having said that, I do prefer having more curves, boobs etc. Ideally I would like to be size 10-12. To be a size 6 again is not what I want.

Finally, I had an emergency ceasarean and so have my belly hanging over the scar in a big flap. The stretchmarks don't bother me so much, it's the depressing fact that I look 8 months pregnant and have multiple chins. And my calves are too big to fit into boots, I used to have some lovely knee high boots but had to give them to my size 8 best friend.

So... I'm really at a loss as to what to do?? I suppose I'm asking for ideas, motivation and encouragement.

Am only 22 by the way.

Thanks in advance.

I'd say that you need to see a dietitian to be honest with you. You appear to only like all of the foods that are not good in the quantities that you are eating. The 'don't eat beige' food is a good idea, bread/pasta/pies/pastry are all beige and full of rubbish. Colour is good. I'd say that you need specialist help with this as it will be far more beneficial then any diet. Pop and see your GP and ask for a referal.

That is No kind of diet to be healthy on but 14-16 is not so big.

My first thought is to speak to your doctor and get some professional help for the phobia and anxiety. Also check your vitamin levels etc. You might need a supplement as you aren't having a balanced diet atm.

If I were you I would insist I ate one mouthful of every healthy meal I cooked - I'm working on the theory that eventually it will be no big deal and you could then up the number of mouthfuls?

Find ways to up your excercise levels - start taking dd out for walks.

Hi cordonbleugh (good name, btw!). Sounds like you're dealing with a lot.

IMO, there are 2 issues here, really:

1. Your food phobia

2. Your wish to lose weight

In an ideal world, you would tackle your food phobia and, by overcoming it, hopefully begin to eat more healthily and naturally lose weight.

Would you consider talking to your GP about your phobia? Perhaps you could ask for counselling of some sort.

This is what I would really recommend and encourage you to do, both for your sake, and your DD's: it's important, I think, that she see a healthy role model in her mum.

Please forgive me, however, if this is not what you want to do, or if this is unwanted advice.

WRT losing weight: theoretically, you could eat only chocolate, and still lose weight. I wouldn't advise it, obviously , but you could do it. It's about calories in, and calories out. It's pretty simple really (unless there's some underlying medical issue, e.g. thyroid problems).

You can still lose weight, even eating a restricted diet: you just need to keep track of how much, ie. how many calories, you're eating.

Calorie-counting is unpopular in some circles, with good reason (in that it focuses too much on numbers, rather than on the "quality" of the diet; it's also boring - weighing out your food, reading the labels, etc., takes time & effort), but in your case, if you struggle to eat healthily, it may be the "best" option.

There are websites available which help you to track your calorie intake and keep a food diary: e.g. Fitday. (Some people on MN are using Weight Loss Resources, but it's not free.) Keeping a calorie/food diary is invaluable in keeping track of what you're really eating. Don't forget to include drinks in your count.

What you might find by tracking your calorie intake is just how much you've been overeating in the past. It's really easy to reach your calorie limit on not that much food. Re-educating yourself in portion sizes, etc. will have a big impact on your weight (e.g. do you eat the recommended bowl size of Crunchy Nut, or do you pour yourself a bowl without thinking about it: the recommended portion, something like 40g, I'd imagine, is pretty small...).

A calculator like this will help you work out how many calories you need to aim to eat to lose or maintain weight.

Can you also do some exercise? Even a brisk walk a few times a week is better than nothing. And it will help you to feel better too. Could you join an exercise class? I understand that eating socially is difficult for you, so perhaps exercising socially might be the way forward?

WRT the apple juice - could you try to water it down, very gradually, over a period of time, e.g. week 1: dilute 1 litre of apple juice with 100ml of water; week 2 1 litre apple juice 200ml water, etc. And so on, until you're drinking more water than juice. This might allow your tastebuds gradually to adapt to the "taste" of water. Juice is basically empty calories (that is, there isn't much of a nutrional pay-off for the calories you're consuming: if you could cut this out, it would help you a lot).

However, please let me reiterate: I really think you should seek some help about your phobia. You deserve to be happy and enjoy a full and varied diet with your DD.

Good luck!

HTH.

Thankyou everyone for all your replys, so, so helpful and kind

I had thought about going to my GP to ask about hypnotherapy, but don't am worried he'll think I'm being ridiculous!

Yep - my diet is very beige! I think maybe I need to force myself to just eat something different, no matter how freaked out I get.

It's so limiting, like eating out, I can't go to certain restaurants, and when I do go out to eat, I usually always have the exact same meal every time!

Just getting to the stage where I want to eat these things is a huge step believe me!

I've thought about going out for a walk every day with DD, as my mum lost quite a bit of weight by just walking more. (plus, hopefully it will wear DD out so that she'll settle down to sleep quicker!).

Also, I have a hula hoop, and was thinking of doing that in the lounge in front of the telly with the music channels on.

I used to go out dancing a lot (3 nights a week) and also (pre-DD, living at home) used to put the music on loud and dance around my room in front of the mirror most nights

Do you think those things would be good starting points for exercise?

Should I perhaps aim to try one new food a week? Or even one new meal, cooking more of DD's dinner so there is a small portion for me to eat?

The tomato thing is the worst though to be honest, it really cuts out a lot of options for me, for example, I love minced beef, but only in cooked with gravy and served with mash.

If i could eat tomato based things, I could have variations on the mince eg, sheperds pie or chilli.

Thanks again for your replies, I'll come back and read all your advice again tomorrow

You know your body does change after having children though. I used to be a size 6 pre child. It's not possible now as your pelvis changes and breasts get bigger. Don't punish yourself for this.

I don't put tomato in anything. I don't like it and boy can't have. We have shepards pie without the tomatoe, spagetti bol with gravy not tomatoe sauce, lasagne no tomatoe no cheese. Not really the definition by recipie but hey tomatoe don't live here EVER why not try one mouthful of something new.

Then when you've succeeded kick a big boot in this direction. I probably need to get my act together. I comfort eat something like your diet.

Message withdrawn

fluffy yea, everybody told me when I was pregnant that I would "spring right back into shape", but even I knew that that was unrealistic. I was expecting, and prepared for my body to change. In the first few months after having DD, I was a 10-12, which I was happy with, despite the inevitable wobbly bits! What I wasn't so keen on, I could hide with magic knickers but now, they don't hide anything.

That's very encouraging oneforward ! like I said, tomato is my main obstacle, I will start by taking a few bites of a new food each week, and then see if I can progress to eating the meals you described.

bloss From what you described, I think you may be right WRT the supertaster thing. I've never heard that term before, but will google! Smell has a lot to do with it aswell. And also what food actually looks like!! For example, some food, to me, looks like vomit!

Thanks again, for your suggestions