This is long, apologies.
I'm wondering if anyone else has similar patterns of gaining and losing weight to me, because it does seem rather weird.
I've been overweight since I was a teenager, not a huge amount but up to a couple of stone more than I should be. Over the last ten years, I've lost and regained up to 20lb several times. I've never had the strength of mind to decide I'm going to eat less and stick to it; when I lose weight it feels as tho' a switch has flipped in my head/body and I'm suddenly ready to eat healthily, stop stuffing myself, cut out all the obvious naughties - I don't even want them. I feel completely motivated and very cheerful about it (and I love being thinner!).
This can go on for months. Then I'll keep at a good weight for a while - and then almost as suddenly I'm off the wagon again, eating huge portions, hoovering up cakes and chocolate, always thinking about what I can eat next and hating feeling at all hungry. I feel so awful about it that I push it to the back of my mind and try to believe that I'm still in control, that I'll stop overeating and putting on weight ( and of course it goes on far quicker than it came off). Clothes are tight and then unwearable, it's horrible. I go up to my top weight again and stay there for some time, usually less than a year, until the "switch" happens again.
I've recently flipped into diet mode, which is the only reason I can bear to talk about it! I'd be really interested to know if anyone else has similar patterns.