Will I always see myself as the fat kid?

[Gumbo]

At school I was a bit podgy (in spite of doing ridculous amounts of sport). From the age of about 9 until early teens I was fat - although it's hard to be objective about just how fat I was, as in my head I was really huge!

I'm 5 foot 6, and for years I've been a size 12 (although I was a size 14 for several years). Over the last year or so I've had a huge amount of stress and lost weight; I now weigh 9 stone, my BMI is 20, and my size 10 clothes fall off me (I can't bring myself to buy size 8 because it sounds so small - and I'm really not!) So on paper it sounds like I'm not really fat - but my whole life I've seen myself as fat and can't shake that off.

Has anyone here lost weight and re-adjusted their mental image to be a 'normal-size' rather than 'fat' person? I still see myself as fat and needing to loose weight....

No real advice I'm afraid - but I did have a very similar experience to you. Fat at school - same height & weight etc. I went through a very traumatic time & lost a lot of weight about 4 years ago. I did get very thin and people commented on it - but at the time I just couldn't see it myself - I didn't think I was fat - I just didn't percieve myself as being thin. Since then I have put weight back on and do consider myself resonably normal now. I know it sounds strange - but I actually managed to shake off the idea of being a 'fat person' once I had put a bit of weight back on after being very thin. I'm sure a psycologist would have something to say on the matter !!

Interesting... I wonder if it's something that gets ingrained during childhood that "I'm not a normal size" and then just sticks!

(Well done though for changing your mental attitude!)

test

well i for one have never shaken it off. i haven't been officially overweight (going by bmi) since i left school, except for short(ish) periods following pregnancy (max size 18 or so, at 16 i'm within healthy bmi).

whilst i've got better at dealing with my larger phases - i don't have any sense of shame or disgust, just a bit annoyed i can't wear clothes i like - dealing with being smaller is still tricky. i vividly remember feeling enormous at 18/19 at 5'6" and 9 1/2 stone, size 10/12, enough to develop an eating disorder.

i've been sub-9st and a size 8 and would happily have shed a few more pounds if it had been possible, luckily i sorted out the eating disorder and i couldn't maintain that low a weight without it.

since then i've discovered exercise though (had usual fat girl issues w/sport at school so never did any and assumed i just couldn't) and i can see the lure of continuing to lose pounds (beyond my current post-baby diet) might be rather seductive.

I was fat my whole life - at 11 I weighed more than I do now at 30 (and 4 months after giving birth!) and I honestly think that I will always see myself as fat, too. I've been a size 12 for about 7 years now, weighing 10st 6, which, for my 5'7'' height is right in the middle of the range, BMI 22,5.
But still I look in the mirror or in photos and see huge, and I mean HUGE thighs and bum and fat neck. DH thinks I'm crazy, but that's how it is. I am constantly trying to figure out how to lose more pounds, but the sacrifices to what I can eat seem too sever to be worth it. Still, I wish I could let it go. I don't have a weight problem, I know this, I have a food problem and a mental problem. Probably always will.

Manaca, I think you've described it well - I suspect I don't have a weight problem either, I need to just fix my head!