finally asking feel help - overweight and need help

[casssie]

I have been wanting to post this for months. I really need help. I have tried talking to people in real life - but I cant find the words to let them know how desperate i feel.

The situation is that I am about 9 stone overweight. I have battled with my weight for the past 10 years. I have lost all the weight and then put the weight in again.
I have become very fatigued and depressed,

I have a great life - a wonderful little boy and a wonderful dh. But I feel like I am in a state of panic. I am desperate to have another child and am 34 - but feel unless I get my arse moving and loose some weight I will never be able to as I am too heavy and it would be dangerous.
I honestly feel like I am in a stand still and everything around me is going at 100 miles per hour. my stomach is in knots and I cant snap out of it.

I was considering doing a fasting diet (lighter life) as I lost 8 stone before on this. But when I came off the diet i stacked the weight back on - so I am afraid this could happen again.
I do have a thyroid problem - but this is under control.

Can anybody give me any advice? I am so immersed in this I cant see the wood for the trees. To everybody in my life I look happy but inside I feel like dying. This is the first time I have admitted this - I am so scared that I will never get out of this rut.

If I start exercising and try and eat better (although I must confess I have no idea where to start) will this work? When I exercise I find it hard (probably cause I am so big) - if I satrt with small walks - will this make a difference?

any advice would help me greatly as at the moment I am very confused and worried.

thanks

I would say you need to start exercising very gently or you'll struggle and feel like it's not working. Can you go for a walk for 10 mins round the block 3 times a week or every day - whatever you feel is manageable. When I started running at the start of this year I gave myself a sticker on my calendar in the kitchen (which my friends on MN thought was hilarious!) but it helped me keep a track of how I was doing and a visual pat on the back and incentive to keep it up.

You should get a little out of breath but you'll soon start to see a difference in how far you get (then you can increase the intensity of your exercise as you feel able).

Would you enjoy classes or the gym do you think?

Please DON'T do a fasting diet. You need to change your habits so that you can maintain a healthy weight - it's no good fasting and then having nothing to carry on with when you have lost the weight initially.

Would you consider a slimming class? I guess you need to think about how to get support and structure for your plan.

This thread is inspirational.

What is your diet like at the moment? Do you eat fruit and veg? Drink water? I find I need to set myself tiny targets in order to stick to anything! ie I can have a xxxx when I've had 3 portions of fruit. Little daily things rather than totally cutting out the 'bad stuff' because then I think about it all the more.

Anyway, this is probably a load of twaddle (except the link to mou's thread!) but just wanted to give you some support.

You will get out of this rut and MN is a great place to get support to do it. It will probably take a long time (mou says it took 18 months for her to lose her 4 stone) but it will be worth it.

Good luck

i am over weight and its not rocket science i know - its a case of heathier eating and more exercise - its a simple equation really if you think about it.

whats lacking is the motivation. so i suggest joining one of the threads and making yourself do a 15 min walk daily - and increase.

i am going to get my arse in gear after xmas.

i really love walking - it seams like i start off thinking about things - i worry a lot - and then before i know it - my mind is erm...vacant! i am just walking and walking - and its a release of sorts.

exercise helps with depression too.

I am only about 2 stone overweight and I often feel depressed and lack motivation and with a lot more to lose I can see where you're coming from. You feel like you have to make such baby steps that it's pointless as you'll never get anywhere.

I would start off by telling yourself that you are not trying to lose weight but to get fitter so that it is more likely that you will be able to concieve/have another baby (it's a good motivation). If you have enough money the wii fit is really very good. I am trying to use mine more as it is ggod fun and I do end up out of breath after 2-3 minutes of hula hooping etc! Plus no one can see you so it doesn't matter what you look like. If not, how about an exercise DVD?

I think I will join a slimming club in the new year.

It is really important to set yourself achievable targets too.

I find that you need to be very organised to lose weight.
You need to plan your food for the next day/next week etc so you're not tempted to snack because you've not got lunch ready etc.

I need to lose weight and am planning to do the Tesco's e-diets as they give you a plan to follow for the week along with a shopping list. Its quite flexible and you can choose which kind of diet to follow eg low g.i., low carb or whatever.

You also need to plan your exercise time slot and stick to it. Walking is an excellent form of exercise. Get a pedometer and build up your steps to 10,000 a day.

Join or start up a weight loss thread here. I'm sure there'll be loads of us trying to get slimmer and fitter in the new year. Good luck

Hi. Have you thought about weight loss surgery? I know it's drastic, but depending on your BMI you might be able to at least think about it...
Where do you live? Each area has different criteria for gastric banding. There's an excellent website called minimins.com all about weight loss. They have different forums to help address different issues.
Like you, I lost 8 stones, (just through diet and exercise, didn't touch the food replacement diets)... but since having two kids I've put it all on again... total diet rebound. Nightmare isn't it???
It seems like there's a lot of support on this website!!!
Please keep writing with updates of how you're doing...

Lots of love
Fay

Oh, and like you I want another baby but I can't face the additional weight of carrying a child whilst 8+ stones overweight - such a chew!
I went to see the doc a couple of months ago to ask for suppor with weight loss and initially he offered my Zenecal tablets. I was anxious about taking them as I'm breastfeeding and when i realised they were a total waste of time, the Doc told me they only really work for 10% of people - placebo effect at best. They stop your body absorbing fat and are quite vile.
Anyway - after going to see a Dietician which was a waste of time, he's referred me for surgery. I think it's probs the only option.
I can start 10 diets/healthy eating plans through the day, but by bed time I'm feeling guilty and useless again.
I also find it impossible to find the spark i had the first time 'round - do you???
I hope this sounds positive, I don't want to write anything miserable!!! It's hard enough trying to loose weight!

casssie, I could be you. We are desperate for another child but it has just not been happening. So, I went to the doctor, had some bloods taken and it turns out I'm not ovulating, probably due to me being overweight. ( at myself) So on top of the feelings of self loathing, I now feel terribly guilty that it's my fault we're not having another baby.

I have started making small changes in my diet and going out for a 30 minute walk 3 times a week. I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone in this.

casssie, how for you. I did the post that pink linked you to and as well as the weight loss, had to deal with feelings similar to the ones you describe.

I don't want to hijack your thread with what I try but will put it as simply as possible.

It sounds like you are lucky to have the support of your DH, so do you get any 'me' time. When you can do your nails, have an extra long bath?
Walking is brilliant and you can aim to increase your distance and speed with time, it is also very good for depression and I got into the habit of trying to go for a walk instead of having a certain snack.

I also took up some hobbies again that I tried to do when I was low or hungry. i.e knitting, making cards. Then tell myself that I would have a snack when I had done x,y or z.

Try to read your own OP as if a friend had written it and try to think how you would help them.

You could come on this thread as it is based around healthy eating as well as being a lovely supportive thread. (-ding dong broccoli on high).

Don't forget that you achieved something fantastic in losing the weight before, so with determination, should be able to do so again.

I got 'angry' with myself and decided it was time I fought to get my life back the way I wanted it. This would motivate me, especially with the exercise. The adrenalin from even walking hard has very positive effects and actually starts to get quite addictive.

I could go on and on.....but hope you find the answers you need and the support to get you where you want to be. Be kind to yourself, sometime in the future you could be the one on here, advising someone how you achieved the weight loss you needed and giving them support!

Here is the new link to the healthy eating and exercise thread that tinywhitefeather mentioned. Come and join us and you'll get lots of support to eat well and exercise (but don't worry we're not gym junkies by any stretch of the imagination!) We're a very friendly bunch

I was wondering how you're getting on casssie? Have you started the new year with some motivation? Hope you've found a way that's working for you. Post again if you need anything