How do people manage weight loss without becoming obsessed with food? Potential TW

[anonymous98]

Please move this to another board if it isn't appropriate for the weight loss chat.

I've struggled with my weight my entire life and, after years of undereating, overeating, bingeing, fasting, purging, exercise addiction and who knows what else have been referred to ED services. Being at the upper end of normal BMI/slightly overweight, I look healthy but have numerous health issues, likely attributable to years of yo-yo dieting and other disordered eating practices.

I really do not mean to be goady or nasty here, but am really genuinely curious: how do other people successfully lose or maintain without without becoming obsessive about it? Is there some kind of neurochemical switch in the brain that goes amiss in some of us? How are people not worrying about this 24/7?

Some people seem to have excellent relationships with food and I have no idea how. I really, really struggle with eating and food and it occupies my entire brain some days. So many like me seem to only find peace on GLP1s, which frightens me a little, as if food were some kind of drug. Surely it cannot be that hard to just eat "normally"?

You have an eating disorder. Most people do not and therefore they don’t spend this much time thinking about food or negotiating with themselves over every meal.

Many might become overweight and diet, but they aren’t thinking about food 24/7
they can manage it.

I’m in the same kind of place, I genuinely have no idea of what a healthy/normal relationship with food is.

For a lot of people, food can be a drug. People self medicate and become addicted to the comfort that food brings, if they label it as such or not. It’s one of the hardest addictions to experience, because there is no cold turkey or escape.

One of the biggest things you learn about addiction if you have experience with it, is transfer addiction. A lot of the process of getting a handle on something you acknowledge you have an issue with, be that alcohol, illegal substances or food etc, is that the void still needs to be filled. Some people can channel it ‘positively’ into exercise or a hobby interest, but even these can be taken too far and overwhelm your persona. Others will transfer an addiction to food to obsessive calorie counting, restriction, alcohol abuse is very common amongst people who have weight loss surgery.

I know this all too well. My mother has become an alcoholic after weight loss surgery.

No help but i think counselling is probably a good start

Peoples hormonal systems (hunger, fullness, food thoughts, satiety, cravings, addiction, reward etc) are all different. It’s partially why some people naturally eat very little and some eat a lot. Those same overreactive systems overreact to under as well as normal eating.

I've found since perimenopause my relationship with food has become more unhealthy. Prior to this I'd enjoy my food but not think about it much. Since some weight gain, food is definitely more of an issue. I'm hungry and crave things far more. I think its because I'm telling myself that certain foods are 'bad' then wanting them all the more.

I have similar though less strong feelings as you OP.

For me, it's rooted in food abuse as a child (I was deliberately kept hungry and shamed for needing food, among other types of abuse).

It's helped me to untangle that and work through the emotions. Could yours also have originated in childhood?

Other than that, I also recomend a woman on youtube called Sarah, "The Binge Eating Therapist", she has been through it and really understands it