Weight loss programme suggestions for a very tired and anxiety filled Mom of two with ADHD?

[DollyDayDream88]

I have two very young children, live abroad with no family support and a partner who I love but shares minimal mental load. I have chronic depression and anxiety and have recently been diagnosed with ADHD. One of our children has suspected autism/adhd/pda. They also have a lot of issues with food so meal times are extra complicated. I have a history of eating disorders. My main source of self regulation is comfort eating.

I don’t do sport but with the kids, transport only by bike, household and 3 flights of stairs to our apartment I am constantly active. I
enjoy cooking, I’m vegetarian and eat a lot of veg, fruit, whole grains and healthy proteins. I don’t drink alcohol. But the comfort eating has resulted in massive weight gain. Now around 100kg (15 stone, 10lbs) for 178cm height (5ft8). I can feel that I can’t move with my kids easily. My older child comments all the time on how big I am because nobody else is as big. I keep having to buy new clothes and feel terrible in them anyway. I avoid looking in mirrors or even my reflection in windows. I even feel disturbed touching my body or being touched. Basically I just try to ignore myself as much as possible so that noticing it doesn’t cause a mental spiral.

I’m aware that this story seems pretty hopeless but I’m doing okay. I have a therapist, medication, good friends and other support. It’s a long road. I just can’t get on top of my comfort eating and weight gain and I have no idea where to begin under these circumstances.

There are so many different programmes out there. I’m scared that if I have to go through multiple of them, paying each time and getting nowhere that I’ll just lose hope entirely.

So I’d be really grateful for any tips from people with experience using a self help diet programme with online support, under constrained circumstances. Not looking for a miracle just a start in the right direction that has the potential to be sustainable.

Could you try weight loss injections, are they available where you are and can you afford?

Hi DollyDayDream, my 2 children are now adults but both are ASD and had multiple challenges as children so I think I understand a little of the restrictions and challenges this might bring for you. I also comfort ate and 9pm when they went to bed was ridiculous because I ate biscuits, chocolate, etc because I told myself I could because of the stress, difficulties, bad days, etc.

I'm much shorter than you at 5ft3in and my worst weight was 16st9lb. During Covid, I started getting my act together. I followed on a lovely thread here where the OP set a goal of losing 7lb a month. Small changes I made immediately were:

1 a food diary of absolutely everything I ate
2 2 biscuits only at 9pm instead of the full pack
3 reducing the portion size of one thing on my plate at each meal regularly (so start by reducing one thing each meal, then 2 things each meal every few days, etc)
4 when I wanted rubbish food, I would buy it, eat half and throw the rest away

As I lost weight, I kept lessening this so now, I only eat breakfast, lunch, dinner, no snacks, no 9pm treat, treat on Saturday, small portion sizes, etc.

All these years on, I'm not skinny by any means. I'm still plugging away at it, I get out to walk when I can too. I'm currently 11st4lb but the key for me is that by following the above, I've never put any significant amount of weight back on.

I hope you find something that works for you. There's some really good support on so many of the threads here no matter what method you choose so that's a good place to start. Good luck with it.

Mounjaro is widely agreed to support with ADHD symptoms as well as weight loss. I know people who stay on a small dose of it for the ADHD improvement alone.

If you qualify, I’d try Mounjaro. Anecdotally people have found them to lessen symptoms of ADHD, stress, anxiety etc.

They are available but not on health insurance and we couldn’t afford them. I’d like to try without them first anyway.

You need to address your stress levels first then look at what regulates you apart from food. Really make sure you make time for this.
Do you eat 3 good meals a day? If not, start with that. Protein and fibre based. Keep drinking water.
That should give you a healthy baseline. See how you get on.

You can probably eat about 1700-1800 calories a day and lose half a pound a week. I reckon you can eat pretty normally minus the binging that way. Then aim for consistency over pace.

If you consistently lose half a pound a week for a year, you’ll notice a difference and have made some gradual lifestyle changes. If you opt for injections or an extreme diet you might lose a lot quickly but will regain it and get stuck in that cycle.