How do I lose weight and eat differently for the rest of my life?

[PersephoneParlormaid]

I’m 55, 13 stone, wear size 16, obese on BMI. I go to the gym 2/3 times a week, walk the dog and am generally active.
I gave up alcohol a couple of years ago, along with the associated nibbles, and lost no weight.
I’ve always had a large appetite, if I try to cut down I’m hungry so eat more, if I go to the gym I’m ravenous.
I think I need to reduce portion sizes and change the way I eat for the future, but don’t know how to do it and succeed.

Up your protein and fiber and eat less carbs. Gradually you will lose weight without feeling hungry

The only women I know who have lost significant amounts of weight have used weight loss injections. But you do have to stay on them.

If you are up for some reading take a look at Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes. It's a good read and argues against calories in / calories out, instead suggesting that hunger is a hormonal response to the food we eat.
The short version is the pp suggested; more protein, more fat, less carbohydrates, and when carbohydrates, minimally processed and high fibre, so basically non-starchy veg.
Good luck!

This. It seems the best way to change your appetite and eating habits is WLI.

I recommend the podcast on radio 4 about obesity called The Hunger Game. It explains the science particularly about hormones but about obesity in general.

Hi OP, I've lost over 15 stone and kept it off for over 20 years. The key, for me, was calorie counting. Eating less can be made easier by restricting carbs e.g. refined sugars, high sugar fruits and not eating processed foods.

Restricting carbs isn't necessary, because I lost most of my weight before even knowing what a carb was, but it certainly reduces hunger.

Ease off cardio if it makes you hungry, certainly in the early days and even until you reach your goal weight, if easier.

You don't have to give up exercise, altogether, but do realise that this is not what drives your weight loss.

Gentle walks are great for cardiovascular benefits and you don't get as hungry, afterwards, which is what makes us want to eat more. Strength training works by continuous energy burn over instant as compared to cardio. Try to incorporate some lifting into your routine if you're not already doing this.

I've never had surgery or taken medicine for weight loss. I've gone from a size 32 to a size 8. It can be done!

Hi, First of all, giving up alcohol is huge. Genuinely well done. Not just for weight but for everything. So many women don't realise how much alcohol was driving their cravings, disrupting their sleep, and affecting their hormones. You've already done one of the hardest things.

Now to your actual question, your hunger.

What you're experiencing is not a willpower problem and it's not your appetite being awkward. It's insulin. When you cut calories without understanding what you're eating and when, your blood sugar drops, insulin spikes, and your body sends a very clear signal... feed me. You're not imagining it. It's a genuine hormonal response.

The gym making you ravenous is exactly the same mechanism. Intense cardio burns glucose, blood sugar drops, insulin responds, hunger follows. Your body is doing exactly what it's designed to do. The problem is nobody explained this to you before you started.

I'm not sure what stage of menopause you're at, but at 55 hormones are almost certainly playing a significant role here. And as you're probably already aware, everything changes. How we store fat, how we burn fat, our sugar cravings, our relationship with carbohydrates...everything.

What worked for you twenty years ago simply doesn't apply to the body you're living in now. That's not failure. That's biology.

Reducing portion sizes alone won't fix this. What matters more is 'what's on your plate'...specifically what's driving the insulin response in the first place.
Once you understand that, the hunger stops being the enemy and starts making sense.

Calorie counting and up protein.

This .... and how you eat matters just as much as what you eat. If you’re rushing meals, eating on the go, or trying to squeeze food into a 10-minute window, that’s part of the problem.

Pay attention to your pace. If you’re already reaching for more food while you’re still chewing your current mouthful, slow down, that’s a clear sign you’re not giving your body time to catch up.

Instead, make eating a deliberate act. Put your knife and fork down between bites. Chew properly, I mean really chew, notice the taste and texture of your food. Give yourself a moment to register each mouthful before going in for the next.

Your body needs around 20–30 minutes to recognise that it’s getting full. So don’t aim to eat until you feel full. Eat until your hunger is no longer noticeable, then stop, even if that means leaving food on your plate.

Wli certainly aren't necessary. How did people lose weight 5 year ago if so?

As pp's say, what you eat is important.

Honestly this. If you can afford to try them, do it.

You can have all the knowledge and understanding in the world but when your body is telling you that you need food and you need it now, that biological imperative that is hard to ignore.

Some people's bodies send those signals more often than others.

Being on WLI's really opens your eyes to how so many people with naturally low appetites can become quite judgemental about overweight people. They are just not dealing with the same struggle and it's hard to relate to.

If you don't have to constantly battle hunger, things become a lot, a LOT easier.

My slim friend who was recently on steroid injections and suddenly ravenous was surprised by the insight into what it can be like, and she put on loads of weight.

I'm not saying you can't lose weight without WLI's... but really... they help.

It may not work for you, but here’s what I did.

First, I had a big scare - I was on the brink of diabetes. Having a diabetic Mum and husband, I knew I really didn’t want to live with that.

I spent 18 months eating low carb, low calorie, 16:8. In order to feel full, I leant heavily on salads, fruit and veg with modest amounts of protein, especially low calorie proteins like eggs, fish and ham. The weight came off pretty steadily, and by the end of 18 months, I was where I wanted to be - blood sugar and cholesterol good, bp significantly reduced. I got into the habit of regular gym sessions (rowing and spinning while listening to audio books) which is great for de-stressing, and I walk a lot, around 18,000 - 20,000 steps a day. Before that, I used the car or public transport a lot more.

And by that time, I’d got used to a really, really healthy diet and exercise pattern. I now eat the same as I did while losing weight, but with a few extra calories in the form of bread, the odd cake or biscuit, and a meal out or a takeaway every so often. I actually don’t enjoy the carb-heavy meals, sweet stuff and fatty foods that were part of my diet before, except very occasionally. I’ve been at a stable ideal weight for a few years now, and I don’t even have to think about it. I have a bit of seasonal variation - I put on a couple of pounds in winter and lose them in late spring without doing anything special.

Does that help?

What do you eat op? Do you calories count?

I eat quite routinely ..

protein milkshake for breakfast

lunch could be veg soup and cheese or chicken/prawns/eggs and salad,

supper is always protein and veg plus very small portion of carbs

evening snack berries with Greek yogurt, seeds/nuts mix and honey

lots of water

Change what you eat. Increase fibre & protein, and cut back carbs and sugar.

Lots of fruit & veg, some meat or fish.
Make your food from scratch. Eating junk makes it so much harder to lose weight.

Do some exercise every day.

Well done on giving up alcohol.

Not the OP but this is amazing.

Thanks to you all, I’m trying to change my evening meal to protein and veg only but it’s hard when you’re cooking for others as well.
Because of my job I can’t fast, I don’t get lunch until 1.30 so I’d be eating my own hand by then!
I tried Greek yogurt and berries as a pudding, but now I can’t eat dairy after my evening meal as it affects my sleep.
Giving up alcohol was easy, I just stopped, if only stopping sweet treats and garlic bread was as easy!

Mounjaro

Agree with increasing protein and fiber. If you like big portions add fruit and veg for volume. Eg grate carrot and stir in spinach into bolognaise, grate apple into porridge…

@Copernicus321this is great advice. I used to would down my food, so never noticed when I was replete. Slowing down the speed you eat at is crucial

I went from borderline overweight BMI (but not fat enough for WLIs) to low end of normal BMI by low carb. I don’t eat bread, pasta, rice, sugar, potatoes, pulses or anything with a high carb/sugar content. I’m not strict keto as I still drink milk in tea and coffee and eat lots of veg and salad. TBH it’s been a game changer. I eat 2 meals a day with occasional snacks, lots of meat, veg, salad, oils, nuts and cheese. I don’t feel hungry all the time; the “food noise” and urge to snack on crap has gone. It’s hard to get your head round the dietary changes at first but once you get used to it it’s brilliant. I’m not a fan of recommending diets as what works for one person doesn’t suit another but this has been a game changer for me. I wish I’d done it years ago.