How can I lose weight when I have no willpower?

[bendmeoverbackwards]

I’m 54 and 5’3” tall. Weight has crept up since the menopause, at its peak I hit 10 st. Dropped off a few pounds and now sitting around 9st 10lbs. I’d like to lose about 8 lbs.

I feel big and I don’t like it. But I love food so much and seem to find it very hard to resist.

Dh also needs to lose a stone, he is actually a bit overweight rather than a vanity thing.

We both tried Michael Moseley’s no/low carb meals and that did seem to work but we couldn’t stick to it. We like pasta dishes and spag bol etc too much.

Any tips please? For me not having things like chocolate, crisps etc would make me very miserable. Maybe I should try the 5:2 fasting thing with a few treats on the normal days.

And i was trying to help the OP as she said she liked eating chocolate, so a switch to dark chocolate rather thsn mince would probably be preferable.

Apologies, I work in the food industry so I thought you were meaning "processed" (most meat and all dairy is processed) but I think you meant "ultra processed" in which case, there are some ultra processed meats (like cured meat) and ultra processed dairy (like flavoured yogurts) but an awful lot is not ultra processed.

Sorry if I misunderstood. It wasn't clear to me.

Thank you all, this is really helpful.

I think if I’m honest my main motivation is vanity and the menopause doesn’t help (waistline has disappeared ☹️). I think my BMI is just within healthy range, I don’t drink or smoke and my overall health is ok. I really want to do this!

@Newgolddream70 can you give some examples of what you eat on 1,250 cals/day pls?

Well done on your weight loss! 👏👏👏

I'm in a similar position and that's why I started the once a week fasting which is helping my weight loss I'm actually starting to see my waist again and shifting things even though it's not vastly reduced my calorie intake (I'm only missing 2 meals a week). The theory is it helps with insulin resistance and I was heading towards prediabetic (HbA1c 5.8%) and the thought process is that insulin resistance makes weight loss harder.

I've recently also just started B12 supplementation as well with a mouth spray (better absorption) because I wasn't quite deficient but I was low and as I'm very active, I apparently need more. Worth checking iron, B12 and TSH just to check there's nothing medical going on.

But unfortunately despite the NHS guidance being "one size fits all" it does all get harder at this age. I'm not suggesting it as your BMI is good but the biggest purchasers through private prescription of the GLP1 agonist drugs are women 45-55. Which is of no surprise to me at all. There is very little tailored advice to us at this age despite the fact that we all know that things have changed. Stuff that worked in our 30s, no longer works.

@bendmeoverbackwardshey, so sorry for the delay! I’ve been eating the same things on repeat so I can plan ahead and stop me over-thinking. Here’s an example: Breakfast - 40g oats, 10g chia seeds, 30g protein powder, 100g Fage yoghurt bit of water and mix it all up. I add frozen raspberries then stick in fridge for next morning. Lunch: cooked chicken or tuna, loads of leaves, cucumber, tomatoes and mix in 100g Fage yogurt and 20g bbq sauce. This really fills me up. Dinner I usually make a chilli, curry or fajitas with 100g cooked rice or potato. Sometimes motivation is high, sometimes not but I have just kept going. I’ve had about three days off - mothers days etc but the key is to get straight back on it the next day. Hope that helps! I follow a coach on Instagram called Amy Groomcoach and she has loads of meal ideas that are filling but with low calories.

Babybel cheeses are good as snacks and I like a packet of Walkers fries. Meringue nests are good with a dollop of Greek yoghurt and fruit if you want something sweet.

I don’t have a lot of willpower, but I do have a clear sense of what matters to me. Kate Moss said "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels", and that’s how I am in relation to food. It took a lot of repeating that to lose 6st, but now I am a healthy weight, it’s 100% true for me. I want to be a healthy weight even more than I want to eat high-calorie foods.

Thank you @Newgolddream70 I usually don’t have breakfast, I know they say you shouldn’t skip it but I can keep going till 11.30/noon and have an early lunch. Bit of a calorie saving there.

I’m the same height and currently the same weight as you too. The only time I’ve been able to lose weight is when I’ve cut out a meal (breakfast), heavily reduced chocolate, treats, crisps etc and 16:8. And walking 10k steps a day. It’s really difficult as the calories required for me to maintain are already quite low.

That saying sounds a bit pro-Anna tbh, I get your meaning but I don’t think it’s a healthy mantra. And when you are really really craving something delicious it does taste better than being skinny! (and I have been skinny, I was a size 4 with 22 inch waist and all I could think about was food!)

@mycatwearsahat

Same, I’ve been really skinny. Garlic bread still tastes as good as skinny feels 😂😂.

To follow on from another thread, the scales are your friend, weigh pasta, rice, potato, cornflakes etc to get the correct size portions, no more "that looks about right, I'll chuck some more in just in case". The way to stop eating biscuits, crisps and chocolates is not to buy them.

This is really interesting. Whilst that quote is not healthy, thinking that way does help me. So many times when I’ve treated myself to cake etc I’ve thought ‘this is so delicious, sod the weight loss’. But I’ve become increasingly unhappy with how I look so that’s a big motivator.

My big downfall is milkshakes (especially when dh and I go our favourite Everyman cinema). I can’t decide if I should cut these out completely or still have the occasional one (and reduce calories for that day).

Move more to increase your calorie deficit. Walking is so good for losing weight. If I haven't hit my 10k steps by the evening you'll find me marching in front of the TV!

I’ve actually been doing this. My family find it very annoying 😂

Do you think no breakfast is contributing to overeating / not sticking to diet? I’ve been having 150g fat free Greek yogurt (or 100g full fat Greek yog) with fruit (I cook a bag of frozen fruit every week) with chia seeds, teaspoon honey and 20g granola. You can adjust toppings / additions to your own taste. I really look forward to this.

I have found ChatGPT excellent as a diet coach. I talk to it after each meal and if I have overeaten it puts me back on the right track / mindset (like yesterday after eating Easter chocolate!).

"We like pasta dishes and spag bol etc too much"

You can make really healthy low fat pasta dishes and spag bol.

Tomato based sauces, packed with veg and pulses, don't use fat or cheese.

The small amount you have to lose would disappear easily if you ditched the wine and swapped out just a few high fat things for lower fat equivalents.

I lost over three stone on Slimming World and lived on pasta.

I have just cut out cheese, cakes, crisps and biscuits and wine as advised by a doctor. I have a stone to lose. I’ve switched to wholemeal rice and pasta and getting out and moving more. I have no willpower too and it was so difficult in the early days and I’m still only a month in but I’m determined to keep going and I hope you can do it too op.

As some PP have said - the only way to really change your mindset and not just diet for a phase is to work out your why. Who do you want to be? And why? As other posts say - is it that you want to be strong and mobile when you’re old? Then start acting like the person who will achieve that now. Almost like fake it until you make it. It won’t happen overnight but actually, if you try thinking like that for a week (do I want another biscuit, no because I’m someone who values my long term health and so I act like that person). Can’t be arsed to do a workout? But you can because you ARE a fit healthy person - so you do it, you make better choices and gradually you become tha person!

I really recommend an online coach to help you with setting realistic values and goals.

I lost 1stone recently with no tracking on MyFitnessPal or anything - but I basically aimed for 3 meals a day with 30g protein and 500cals plus 2 snacks - ideally proteins - to take me to around 1800 cals and near 100g protein. It wasn’t complicated and I juat bought the protein, had general cupboard stuff and veg etc and then said to chat GpT - I have 2 salmon fillets and xyz in the fridge, give me an Asian style meal where each portion has 500 cals and 30g protein.

This was me for years. Things changed 14 months ago, I started intermittent fasting 16:8 and I’m more than 4 and a half stone lighter and in maintenance now.

Fasting has worked for me, it helps me maintain control. I also joined a gym and now I walk most days at least 10k steps, up to 15 miles once a week.

I am so much fitter and healthier which is my ongoing motivation. I have terrible knees but now I can squat and kneel in relative comfort.

I do have struggles and my weight has fluctuated a bit but i feel so much better, that’s my ongoing motivation. That and the before and after pics I keep in my phone.

Also to add to the above approach - I wouldn’t cut anything out as then it becomes forbidden! But it’s hard to have lots of carbs in a meal and meet the 500 cals / 30g protein so just by following that you end up reducing it

I think it depends, of course if you are genuinely overweight being a healthy weight is something to aim for as it will make you feel better in many ways.

But Kate Moss said that about being skinny skinny, when she was a ‘size zero’ and it caused controversy at the time for promoting eating disorders. To me, and many people, ‘skinny’ means having no fat on you at all, being just skin and bone. Being a healthy weight isn’t being ‘skinny’. She has since said she regrets that comment.

‘Nothing tastes as good as being healthy feels’ may be more accurate, to discourage overeating junk food.

Thanks all, this is very helpful. I don’t drink wine or any alcohol (other than an occasional Bailey’s hot chocolate).

Im proud of myself for resisting the urge at my favourite ice cream shop in town today. But I did buy a handbag - no calories 😂

Mounjaro. Literally made for people who struggle with willpower (myself included, and I’ve lost 3 stone). Yes, yes I know my lack of willpower is v. likely to return as soon as I stop taking it but ah I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it..at least I’ll have had a couple of years with a size 8-10 banging body 🤣