How to politely request healthier food choices when meeting clients?

[Lemonthyme]

How do you politely say to a company "please don't feed me beige food"?

I was with a client yesterday and they asked before I arrived if I had any allergies etc. Which I don't. But when food came it was chicken nuggets, chips and crisps. I kid you not. It was like being in a wacky warehouse.

I've now been on such a healthy diet for a while, I ate some and it was only because I was hungry that I did eat, if there had been a fruit bowl I'd have only eaten fruit. I just didn't want to be doing it and felt awful physically afterwards. I know one meal of crap like that isn't going to make a difference to my weight but I don't like feeling like I'm bloated with that rubbish afterwards. Calories you just don't enjoy aren't fun are they? And I want to get better at asking for something less crap in future.

Do you think it's rude to say "can I have something healthy?" or "please can we have some fruit or vegetables?"

While I've barely eaten any bread for months, I still would have preferred a sandwich to that pants stuff. I work from home a lot of the time so it's not a big issue but it's surely possible to try and get something a smidge healthier.

I hear you OP, people on the thread are being a bit unnecessarily snarky - some of the solutions work some of the time but it's not always possible to bring your own lunch or ask for something else, or not without seeming rude or precious anyway. Different industry to you but I visit a lot of fairly isolated sites on industrial estates and similar and the lunch options are very limited, canteen food or workers caf are about your options (no access to a fridge or microwave to do your own lunch) and it's a sea of white refined carbs and fried or sweet things... Obviously it's fine to eat these things occasionally on a diet and I do, but I do prefer them to be a nice treat I've chosen for myself rather than a forced choice because there's nothing else.

In order of preference I would: (1) bring my own food (including perhaps some shelf-stable healthy snack options so I can eat the lightest possible lunch), (2) choose something a little bit healthier from the available options like a (usually very disappointing/plain) salad, jacket potato (with beans can be quite nutritious), sometimes the veggie or vegan option is healthier as may contains some actual veg or even some pulses, (3) just don't eat or eat a smaller portion - if for reasons as you've explained none of the above work then I just have to suck it up and take what's on offer, and if it doesn't fit into planned calories/macros I'll have to forgo a treat I'd have preferred later on in the day or week. Sucks but it is what it is. Sympathies though! Do you do repeat visits to the same place? I find it helps to know what to expect in terms of planning and if you can get to know the people a bit better it's less awkward to be able to say 'ooh I loved that jacket you did me last time, can I have that again' rather than being the awkward one saying 'do you have anything other than chips'...

I would just eat about 1/4 of it and leave the rest. And have a piece of fruit / home brought snack if hungry.

Two different sites. I could bring food for day 1, harder for day 2. But I've had some tips from here. I could certainly bring food for day 1 and shelf stable fruit like apples for example for day 2 so that even if what is served is crap I'm less likely to eat as big a portion. I'll think about what other foods might work. Food sites are often nut free so that's out for lots of more nutrient dense shelf stable options but I'll have a think about it.

This thread reminds me a bit of the one several months (or maybe even years) ago where the OP was upset about their monthly office mandatory-attendance pizza party because it messed up her diet. She was (reasonably fairly) absolutely slated for being precious and wanky about her macros, the unanimous verdict was that for a once a month thing you just need to make a show of eating a slice of pizza for the sake of office harmony etc. I do agree overall but I was one of the few who had some sympathy for her.

Each one of these 'you've just got to have some, be polite' moments adds up, considering how many of them there are. In a typical week I might have one of these unavoidably greasy site visits lunches, one colleague's birthday with cheap oversweet cake that it would be churlish to turn down, one dropping round to a friend's house where she's got the crisps or biscuits out, one client hospitality event with wine and a beige buffet, one lunch round at MIL's where she's made dessert, one weekend morning where the DC want to bake at home and for me to try their offerings, one evening where DH wants to get takeaway - that's virtually every day where it's really hard or rude (I agree not impossible before people chime in) to turn down the unhealthy food on offer, and none of it is actually my choice or the treat I would have chosen and yet if I want to stick to my diet I'm going to have to make adjustments to accommodate.

It's not that I'm not capable of managing myself and owning my own choices, I'm a big girl, it's just where there's this slew of fitness/health content online that promotes how easy it all is, you just swap all the beige UPF stuff for lovely wholefoods and fruit and veg, and how it's perfectly possible to still have the food you like within a calorie deficit - well maybe so if (a) your TDEE is 2000 cals plus which gives much more flexibility than the 1200-1400 I need to lose weight and (b) you eat all or nearly all your food at home which just isn't possible if you have an office or outside the home job and a busy schedule...

Agree. A "cheat" meal (even if I liked that term, which I don't) is one thing if you're sat down eating something you REALLY love and enjoy every mouthful. But a meal of high fat, high carb stuff which you don't even enjoy but just eat because you're hungry and there's nothing else is just depressing.

I have to admit on the pizza thing, it wasn't me but when I left my last job, the boss arranged pizza on the last day. I only like pizza with anchovies and I didn't eat it. I had brought in my own lunch not expecting it anyway so I ate my own, healthy lunch. I didn't feel in any way guilty then because the boss was massively performative when it came to wellbeing. He'd insist that my team needed to shrink while also expanding the site and giving more staff to everyone else. Free pizza didn't make up for it to be honest.

But it's different when you're more bothered about offending and family can be the worst in this kind of thing. Work (even when you're working for them) can be not quite so bad.

I think there have been some good suggestions on here if you wade through the "oh get over yourself" type stuff. I can certainly bring things to balance out a bad meal. If that means a crunchy apple or a smelly satsuma, surely most people can get past that? (Smells better in my view than chicken nuggets from reformed chicken...)

While it might not be with a client, I'm sure everyone has faced a similar situation with friends or family. But I guess you need zero support on your weight loss journey?

But there's a massive difference between saying to a friend 'Hey, when we're out for lunch on Thursday can we go somewhere that does a few healthier options I can choose?' and saying to a business client - someone who you are supposed to be providing a service to - that you aren't satisfied with catering they provide you at meetings. The client is effectively your customer and you are meant to the one keeping them happy, not the other way round. It really, really isn't up to your clients to 'support your weight loss journey'.

And honestly? The only support I needed for my weight loss was my partner's general understanding that I was no longer going to be eating all the same things he eats. I didn't expect friends and family to have any input, and certainly not colleagues or clients.

Always bring your own food.
Fruit, vegies, dips, flatbeads, rice, sushi, salads and soups.

Just explain that, due to you often eating when not at home, you have decided to mostly cater for yourself to ensure that you receive all five food groups and eat more consisantly nutriant rich, low fat foods. It helps your bowels particularly when you sit for hours.
Also profess to adore iced tap water.
Always thank them for such lovely water.

Make it about you, not about not wanting their food.

She also outed herself fairly quickly as being fatphobic and was basically digging at her colleagues who did eat the pizza for that reason. I think she deserved everything she got after that.

This is different.

Nut free site though, hadn't thought of that! 😕

Honestly I think it’s a big deal out of nothing. I eat a good healthy balanced diet, part of that is knowing that a few chicken nuggets for one meal isn’t going to make any difference.

I was once on a diet plan where there was a suggestion to remove the breading from fried fish for a much healthier option.

You can't do that with everything but its a possibility.

I had two meals at clients this week and one hotel breakfast where I tried to make the best choices I could. I gained 1.5 lbs after working my ass off to lose what I have so far. So it makes a difference to me I guess.

@Lemonthyme are you going to take your own food to clients and decline their offer as has been suggested so many times in this thread?

also - to eat healthily at hotel buffet breakfast - yogurt, fruit, eggs are usually on offer?

No, you didn’t gain 1.5lb of actual body fat after those meals.

To gain 1.5lb of actual body fat you would need to have eaten roughly 5200 EXTRA calories.

Unless you have done that, the 1.5lb is just extra water from travel, eating something you usually don’t which adds a bit of water weight, glycogen, hormones, activity levels etc.

Unless each of those meals and your hotel breakfast added up to 1730 calories each on top of your usual lunch/breakfast, they did not cause a genuine 1.5lb gain.

Just eat a small portion out of politeness then go back to healthier food later. You don't have to get it right 100% of the time.

I think a reply of ‘no actual allergies but follow a fairly restrictive diet so I’ll probably bring my own - hope that’s OK’ would be fine. I doubt this would offend them. If they decide this makes you a bit ‘odd’ then that’s their problem.

I think it’s harder when you are invited to a friend’s house and they have made your ‘favourite cake’ for you.