Mindful, calm and focussed.

[PrizedPickledPopcorn]

Would anyone like to chat about staying on track with healthier habits? I’m planning to lose weight by managing my stress and focus. My eating habits are healthy, right up to the moment I get stressed and frustrated and start eating my feelings away, feeling very out of control as I do.

I’d like somewhere to celebrate non scale victories, good choices, and staying positive and focused. Chat about food swaps and recipes very welcome.
I don’t want to criticise other people’s methods, bang on about the evils of the diet industry, or obsess about calories.

Anyone else? I’m keeping a journal to log food (not calories or quantities), how I feel, good choices and plans for improvement.
On my to do list today is making some salads for the fridge so I have tasty snacks available, and making overnight oats for the next few days.

I have lost significant amounts in the past, but struggled to maintain while not making myself miserable. Either I’m obsessed and gaining slowly, or I take a break to destress and rest, and then put on weight. Either way, I’ve put most of the weight back on and I want my clothes to fit again!

Anyone else?

Just me at the moment then! I’ve just made kiwi chocolate brownies, I’m a bit unsure- a bit too much sugar to feel confident that it’s healthy, but not much flour. No chocolate, just cocoa. Just a splash of oil. So actually it’s only really the sugar.

I’ll report back how the brownie turns out.

Good luck op. But honestly I’m not sure this is going to help you lose weight if makijg chocolate brownies is your first act.

I’d love to join! I’m maintaining my weight so for me it’s all about healthy choices and just staying on track. I don’t have a history of dieting, my weight very slowly went up over the years and in 2023 I decided to lose it. I have a history of type 2 diabetes in the family and I wanted to improve my chances of getting pregnant, so I was motivated enough.

Kiwi brownies sound delicious, I usually bake something on Saturday or Sunday! Could you link the recipe?

Hi Cortie, I’ve attached a photo of the recipe. I didn’t mash the kiwi, mine were still unripe. I use a stick blender on the liquids, sugar and kiwi. Left the skin on, just took off the ends because one of them is a bit tough.

It’s really good cake! Full of fibre, low fat, and far better than some of the other things I might have snacked on!

That sounds like a really healthy attitude, and I’m sure you’ll maintain now you are keeping an eye on it!

Unfortunately my mindset has been unhealthy for years. My family teased me for being fat and commented on what I ate from when I was a small child, even though objectively looking at the photos I wasn’t! My mum is a secret eater and talks constantly about what she’s eaten, whether she’s lost weight, whether she’s put on weight, whether I look fatter or thinner than last time she saw me…

So for me, it’s about getting away from a whole host of obsessive ways of thinking, and into a place of healthier swaps and managing stress.

Good choices today- I was at a training session and chose not to have a biscuit. I had a very light lunch but a nutrition packed breakfast.

I was very tired and frustrated this evening after a difficult situation at work. Instead of eating my feelings, I watched a wildlife programme and did some knitting. It was really quite soothing.

And soothing is good!

And the recipe…!

Thank you for the recipe, DD got very excited, she likes to bake and likes both kiwi and brownies.
I also knit in the evening, I usually have more than three different projects going in parallel. I’m making a large triangle scarf (something like a bigger and less elongated version of the Sofie scarf the internet is raving about) and a turtleneck at the moment, both are going to be Christmas gifts.

We are having a Japanese day today - I love to cook Japanese food although I think it’s far from the real thing - okonomiyaki for dinner and a mochi bake. Making mochi from actual rice is what I definitely consider soothing (and satisfying)

That sounds delicious! I’m not on the look out for new recipes at the moment- I have so many lined up to try! The kiwi brownie gets stickier by the way, so I have frozen the second half of mine to have a chunk at a time.

I’ve practiced some breathing exercises today, hoping that when I get frustrated I can do some breathing and calm myself that way, rather than raiding the cupboard.
I also read an article about emotional eating, and found an exercise resource. Realistically I don’t know when I’ll have time for the exercise. I do a couple of things already. I’d like to do more, but would struggle to work out when.

So calmly on we go, making good choices and managing stress levels!
I hope you like the brownies!

Hi @PrizedPickledPopcornI’d like to join your thread. Funnily enough I was going to post something similar. As I really feel that putting on weight does come from stress - rather than not knowing what’s good for you etc.

I have been frazzled and overwhelmed for a long time- and all the extra cortisol puts weight around my stomach. And it also means I can’t get ahead of myself to plan meals etc. let alone binge eating sugar to combat the stress.

I know all the principles and I genuinely feel if I could focus on myself and a calm life I would slim right down.

I was skinny/slim right up until age 31. Then bad relationships and the fall out from that are probably the main culprits.

anyway I am now focusing on stronger boundaries and valuing myself more- and I believe that relates strongly to preparing food/planning shopping/ and caring about myself not to find gratification in binge eating.

That’s so true, @Strategies25 !

Dieting feels like building a huge sandcastle. If you put in loads of effort, time, focus… you can get a really big castle. As soon as you take your eye off the ball though, the tide comes in and undoes all our work. I lost 5.5 stone with SW. It was great.

But of course, as soon as I let go of 100% focus, it came back on, one bad tempered binge at a time.

So I’m logging relentlessly. All food is good food. There is no shame. Food can indeed soothe wounded feelings. The trick is looking after myself, finding other ways to soothe as well.

I had a bit of a dip yesterday, a couple of things went wrong. However though I did eat a few things that I didn’t need, I didn’t eat as much as I would have in the past.
Today I’ve eaten really lightly- not deprived myself but been busy and made sensible choices at mealtimes. I’ve realised that although I deserve nice things, nice food, also food is just fuel. If I eat a slightly weird but perfectly healthy breakfast, that isn’t punishment or deprivation, it’s just convenience.

i love this. i've been talking to chat gpt about how regulating the nervous system will aid with weight loss and choosing exercises which don't put stress on it, to cause cravings. it's so interesting! I'm working through each day with telling it any moments i felt tense etc and it's giving me some good tips on my workouts. i'm not thinking about a food plan just now, just trying to make some healthier choices each time i think about what i'm going to eat.

That’s a great idea, @Welikebeingcosy . I haven’t got to grips with Chat GPT yet. You’ll have to tell us what to do!

The real test for me will be next weekend. DM is coming up for Christmas and she is a vortex of drama all on her own, plus has disordered eating. There will be lots of comments about how fat people are, whether I want to be fat, how amazed she is about how much we eat… so I will be channeling calm and focus and using the 3 Ds to delay, distract and decide what to eat when I’m feeling binge-y.
delay the* eating *impulse by 5, 10mins
distract by doing something different, breathing exercises, go for a walk get a drink.
and decide what to eat- something different or a smaller portion of the thing you initially wanted.

I love the idea that with the Ds I get to choose. To decide what to do. It takes away the helpless inevitable feeling I get when I am in motor mouth mode- stuff stuff stuff.

Good choices today- I made fruit salad/overnight oats and coleslaw, so I’m set for 4 breakfasts and have salad for each meal.

Warning- massive introspection alert!

I’ve been thinking about why I binge, what the emotion is, what I’m trying to achieve. Superficially it’s obvious- comfort, eating the bad feelings etc.

But actually, what bad feelings? What is the niggle that’s only quieted by food?

I am mulling over different attitudes and worries that could be at the seat of it, and sitting with them for a while to see what resonates.

It may be neglect, that I feel neglected. DM was very self absorbed and erratic. I don’t remember feeling nurtured, I remember being in trouble, letting her down, being shown off, told off, interrogated as to my progress at school. So I’m pretty sure that’s at the root. Neglect.

But if it is, what does a bar of chocolate do to address that? Am I trying to ‘treat’ the part of me that doesn’t feel seen, so acknowledging that part? Am I spoiling that part to try and make up for the more usual pattern of neglect?

And if that’s all true- and it does feel likely- how do I change it? Are there other ways to treat that overlooked part? Can I somehow use other forms of self care to feed that neglected girl? I’m generally not good at self care. Basic stuff. I find it hard to consistently brush teeth/take meds/use moisturiser etc.

Either I’m obsessed and gaining slowly, or I take a break to destress and rest, and then put on weight.

This part of your post really resonated with me. I used to go to a weight loss clinic and I would get so stressed about the appointment that I would binge on the way there to calm my nerves. Then if it was a good week I'd celebrate with a few treats, a bad week and I would binge to comfort myself. Its bonkers when you try to explain it.

I too am working on loving myself as I am. Sometimes when I want to lose weight i buy nice new clothes in the size I already am and spend more time on makeup etc. I tell myself I look great and that good feeling is what helps me make right choices.

At the moment I am maintaining after a gain a few months back when I had a stressful period so not in a great place but trying to accept myself for my gain and enjoy myself without gaining more.

Well done, @Dontlletmedownbruce . That sounds very self aware!

I’ve been concentrating on other things since my last post, but am pleased to report a .5kg loss. I have done Christmas cooking, including sweets, puddings and treats, so I am pleased with that. I have had a couple of mindless eating moments, but just acknowledged them and moved on.

I’ve spent some time today reviewing my notes and thoughts so far, and preparing for the coming weeks. I want to do better with batch cooking and planning. It is my usual, but I am less consistent than I’d like to be.

AN insight today was that small consistent changes will eventually make a difference. I’ve swapped my diet cola for an effervescent vitamin, and so haven’t had cola before noon at all since. If that had been something like dropping a morning slice of toast, or swapping a sugary cereal for a plain one, then over time I’d have slightly reduced my calorie count. And if it’s a habit, then it doesn’t need daily effort to maintain it. Those are the sorts of changes I need to make.

However, most of all, I’m not spending time and energy arguing with myself about what I’m going to eat/not eat. That’s really a huge change and massively relieving the daily burden.

I hope everyone else had a good Christmas where they enjoyed what was on offer and managed to avoid the rollercoaster of deprivation and indulgence.

@Welikebeingcosy how are you doing? Can you give us a potted explanation (for idiots) of what you do with chat GPT? How does one get to it? What do you say to it, for example?

oh yes definitely...i'm feeling a bit worn out- chat gpt keeps telling me to take it easy and i've bene ignoring it over christmas and it turns out it was right.....haha...but hopefully back to the exercise after some nice calm days....

so basically, i told what i had done and ate that day, and how i was feeling and asked it to help me keep my nervous system nice and calm...and then it just went from there and helped me to balance my day and showed me where i was overdoing anything heavy input...it's made me realise it's important to balance the heavy impact exercise like gym and raquet sports with some gentle things like spa and meditation. i even went into a yoga class and walked straight out as it was high impact and wasn't the restorative yin yoga i needed....chat gpt gave me the validation i needed to listen to my body and change scheduled gym plans for what my body needed in that moment.

Oh wow! That does sound interesting. I would never have thought of asking it to help calm my nervous system. Not that I have to balance high and low impact 😉
How do you speak to it? Do you find chat gpt on google? Ask Alexa?