Weight gain - I want to cry!!

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I met my husband 10 years ago, I was a size 8-10 and was for a while, I slowly crept up to a size 12 due to Covid and I actually preferred this size on me, then went a size 12-14 after my first baby in 2022, and now after my second baby who I had 4 months ago I am now a size 14-16 and I feel so sick and angry at myself! I am having to buy size XL 16 clothes, especially jeans and trousers and I feel so crap about it! I look big too, my arms, my belly, my chin, I’ve just gained all over! The crazy thing is I hardly eat, I don’t have time to really eat so I have no idea why I am gaining weight!! I have put on 5 Ilbs since after the birth of my baby so I am doing something wrong!

Has anyone else gained weight after children even though nothing has really changed or gained weight more after birth?! I feel like a don’t have time to go gym at the minute but I must do something about this asap because I feel disgusted when I look at myself. I actually want to cry.
Why am I not loosing weight but gaining when I eat hardly anything and always running around after a 3 year old and a baby!

You are not eating enough. You need proper food (not snacks) to eat. Protein, carbs etc

What do you typically eat/drink in a day over the course of a week? Unless there's a medical condition, you put on weight because you're simply eating more than you're burning.

@AnticsRoadshowmy diet is pretty much snacking at the minute. @Didntask my typical day would be morning decaff coffee, toast, 2 boiled eggs, lunch is generally missed or a quick ham sandwich if I can and my dinners are usually really healthy, meat with roasted veg or a salad, ramens but usually eat this around 8pm, and I do have a glass or two of white wine with dinner most days (snmall glasses though, they aren’t large)

Alcohol is empty calories so cut them out.

It’ll be the snacking. It will add up to more than you think. Try tracking your intake honestly with an app like My Fitness Pal. Log every single thing including biscuits, crisps, sauces a bit of the kids tea etc and weigh portions for a week and you will see where you might be going wrong and what you can tweak.

Also ask your GP to check your thyroid function.

Ditch the booze

It’s calories in/out. Get a tracker - I use Nutra Check and log EVERYTHING -you’d be surprised how cups of tea add up, stealing a leftover sausage from your child’s plate etc. it will also log your steps, aim for 10,000 a day, this makes a big difference. I also love a glass of wine but these need to be managed into my calories very carefully. I’ve lost two stone so far this year and have one more to go to be my target weight (I’m maintaining at the moment until after Christmas).

What's missing here is quantities and detail - e.g. how much toast, what do you put on it?

You need to calculate your TDEE and calculate honestly the calories you are consuming as a starting point.

@iSage literally butter on one slice and 2 boiled eggs is my usual breakfast, I do usually skip lunch, and then have a healthy dinner. Someone did mention to ditch the wine as it’s empty calories but pre babies I used to drink more (mostly binge at weekends due to my social life) and I was smaller back then, so I feel like it’s not that 😩 but I do know wine is quite full or calories, but I just thought as I’m not eating much it would sort of add into my intake anyway.

Well, you're basically eating and drinking carbs and sugar all day and why are you having two breakfasts? Either have just toast or just eggs not both (eggs would be better as they're protein). Better yet, have berries and greek yoghurt.

Try soup for lunch.

Have protein and leafy green vegetables for dinner.

no snacking, no alcohol.

It doesn't matter how 'healthy' your dinner is if the calorie count of it is too high.

Start logging everything that passes your mouth on mfp for a week.

You don't barely eat. You must be eating slightly more on average than your calorie needs. You can definitely lose weight and still drink alcohol but you'll have to cut down and maybe make different choices otherwise you won't have enough calories available to meet your macro needs. You need to calorie, protein and carb track.

Oh come on a couple of eggs on a slice of toast doesn’t count as 2 breakfasts!

it does sound like it would be helpful to work out your TDEE and use an app but if that’s not showing your eating over what you should to lose weight then I would definitely see your GP as it’s not sounding to me like you’re over eating at all.

My thyroid went belly up during my second pregnancy but wasn’t diagnosed until DC nearly 4. Didn’t eat much due to severe morning sickness but gained 4 stone in pregnancy and more post pregnancy, despite dieting when baby started weaning. Stuck to diet but was unable to lose weight and became disheartened. Later found blood sugar balance issues (insulin resistance) also coupled with hormonal changes with peri. Lots of things coming together basically. All added up to weight gain and difficulty losing despite best efforts.

I also had the reverse weight gain issue with breastfeeding (gaining rather than losing weight) that some women have. See Serena Williams, who could not lose even with professional PT’s and rigorous training routines. I had hoped that at least breastfeeding might help me drop some pounds, but nope!

Weight loss injections has been the only thing that has helped me lose weight and keep it off since these medical issues. I tried every other method and basically managed to starve a stone off when my toddler was 2 but couldn’t keep it off. Metabolism f’d basically.

I’d recommend getting your thyroid checked by your GP and don’t let them fob you off with just the TSH blood test (unreliable on it’s own), you need the 4 part blood test - TSH, T3, T4 and the thyroid antibody test TPO -Ab

Your body needs nutrients. Take some time to learn about food groups and UPFs. Feed your body real whole foods and you'll start to feel better. Sending best wishes to you. It's hard

How tf is two eggs and a slice of toast two breakfasts? Insanity!

I’d try limiting drinking to the weekend op.

Two eggs and one slice of toast is not “two breakfasts”. It’s maybe 300-350 calories.

@MissingSummertime how crazy you just said this! So I posted about severe hair loss last week being 4 months PP and even took a photo of how bad it is, I thought I would have a quick read as I had some new messages, and a few people suggested I get my bloods checked for an under active thyroid because the hair loss is quite extreme, this might explain the weight gain also! I know some may think I am having too many calories but I used to eat more when I was smaller! This is crazy weight gain. My issues is I would have to take weight loss injections as I don’t really like to take anything or put anything in my body that could cause reactions or issues later down the line 😩

You aren't eating properly. You need to eat lots of protein, as it fills you up more, than carbs. However, you do need carbs, and other food groups. You should aim for 10,000 steps per day, use light weights as this burns fat (I use a routine on YouTube). Others are correct you need to track your calorie intake. I can guarantee you are consuming far more than you realise!

It’s a big jump to decide that WLI are the next step. Before that, see if you can get your thyroid checked by the GP, whilst properly tracking your food intake for a couple of weeks. Compare that to your TDEE and see if you are overeating, under eating or eating to a maintenance level. Then you’ll have a much better understanding of what’s going on.

This sounds like my situation. I was 60kg when I fell pregnant with my last baby though had started perimenopaus. While I was pregnant I had a lot of physical health and mental health issues and was on an array of medication that basically made you hungry and or side effects what weight gain. I had to stay on those meds until 6 months pp and by that stage I had gained over 30kg . I spent an entire year with weight watchers trying to lose weight and had only lost 6kg in that entire time so it didnt work for me so i then gave up. Then spent a year doing ivf which has made me gain all thay 6kg back plus an extra 3kg. Iv decided to try losing weight again and since have lost 1kg since starting out last week. I have decided to start shakes and see if I can get as much weight off before starting ivf again in the new year. I also have a doctors appointment to get some blood work done to check thyroids and stuff to see of they are out..

I know some may think I am having too many calories but I used to eat more when I was smaller!

This is really common. Many people find their metabolism slows as they age and it can be exacerbated by hormonal changes - pregnancy, perimemopause, menopause.

You need a plan and I would suggest:

1. Calculate TDEE (many calculators online). Be accurate about your levels of exercise.
2. Track what you eat and ensure a deficit between your TDEE and daily calorie consumption
3. See if you lose any weight over the period of a couple of weeks
4. If not, the next steps are medical investigations for issues that can cause weight gain, such as underactive thyroid

WLI don't have to feature in your plan - they wouldn't help if it was, say, a thyroid issue as ultimately all they do is make it easier for you to eat less and if you're genuinely eating less already and not losing weight, that won't help.

If the issue is one of eating too much, WLI would reduce food noise and the urge to eat, but they're not the only way. I've lost weight without them, but it takes willpower not to overeat when hungry and to decline treats when offered etc. You say you are size 14-16 so you might not be heavy enough to qualify for them in any case.

But you need to diagnose the cause of your weight gain first. You have to believe you can lose weight to be successful on any weight loss plan, and you won't have the right mindset until you've ruled out a medical issue - or if it transpires there is a medical issue, you'll need to get it treated.

You can lose hair with lack of protein in your diet too

It’s quite normal to lose hair post partum especially if you are breastfeeding, it’s prolactin that contributes to hair loss. It doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s something wrong although your diet seems really lacking important nutrients so there’s that.

The first step is to really be honest with yourself though. If you gained weight from eating nothing OP, you would solve the world’s hunger problem. Yes there are health conditions that make it harder to lose weight but it’s either by increasing appetite, slowing down metabolism or affecting how carbohydrates are processed, the weight always comes from food.

You say your diet is mainly snacking but you haven’t listed any snacks so perhaps if you are snacking on top of what you’ve listed it’s that? And the wine, definitely the wine, there’s sooo many calories in alcohol.