Moral Dilemma - If you have lost weight, do you/would you feel guilty about buying charity shop clothes in your old size and taking them in?

[DontLeaveMeDietingLikeAYoyo]

Just looking for opinions. Example - by whatever weight loss method, you have dropped from a size 18 to a size 12. You see an amazing size 18 dress in a charity shop - just right for you, and upon examination, it would be easy to take it in to fit you.

Do you -

A. Buy without a thought
B. Not buy it - you have lots of choice now, let's leave it for a size 18 person who needs a lovely dress.
C. It would depend on whether you thought the dress would be much in demand from others (e.g. high end brand, fashionable style) or whether it's very much your style rather than popular fashion.

I am a C. I do make a point of taking it in in such a way that it can be let out again, in case I need to (see username!) but also if I want to re-donate it I can let it out so the size matches the label.

What? This is crazy overthinking. If you want to buy it buy it.

That's exactly what my husband tells me.

I'm just haunted by memories of looking for nice clothes on occasions when I was larger and not finding them.

I second the crazy thought. Kindly, is there a reason you want to continue to punish yourself over your weight?

That's sweet. But think about it from the charity shops point of view. They depend on stock turning over quickly. Unsold stuff gets ragged. You buy it, win win.

I'm just haunted by memories of looking for nice clothes on occasions when I was larger and not finding them.
It seems as if half the nation is on weight-loss pills. The charity shops should be overrun with plus size clothes these days.

I think what you're doing is considerate. You sound like a thoughtful person.

A. Charity shops throw away lots as they get too many donations to sell. Once youve bought it theyll put other lovely size 18 dresses out.

What? Genuinely how do you have the headspace to come up with something like this?

I am a size 10 an often find that there is some lovely stuff in larger sizes but non in mine. I think it is just charity shop thing not a size thing.

If you but the larger size you are leaving something else that someone smaller may be grateful for

The decision would purely be based on whether or not the item was worth the effort of having it taken in. I can't do that myself so I'd factor in paying for someone else to do it. Given that, it would have to be a particularly special and unusual item that I would be unlikely to find anywhere else and so better to make do with an adjusted size 18 than risk never finding it again.

None of that is a moral dilemma though, just a purchasing decision. I would not even think for a nano-second about leaving it for an imaginary other customer who might be a size 18 and who might not be able to find size 18 clothes easily, and who also happened to like this particular item! Far too many what ifs and possibilities for it to be a realistic scenario.

Also, 18 is not an unusual size these days. Most high street shops go above an 18, and 18 is usually on the rails as standard.

You are massively overthinking this.

Stay away from the glue 🤣

It wouldn't work like that, as if there was nothing I liked in the smaller size, I wouldn't buy anything; if there was something I really liked in the smaller size I would buy both unless they were very similar in design, which is rare in a charity shop.

I'm not talking major tailoring, just resewing the seams or if it's a skirt, putting tucks in. I wouldn't buy anything I couldn't alter myself as I'd never get round to having it done professionally.

Realistically a bigger size can’t always be passed on to a friend because they may be smaller, so I would imagine there is a lot of plus sized options in a charity shop.

I think the market for second hand clothes has also exploded in the last few years. Including for plus sized clothes.m

Buy it. Give the charity shop some money that it desperately needs. Do what you want with it, even if it’s just to line the dog’s bed.

I think I was trying to get across that most people won't be able to resew seams or put tucks in a dress, so your "dilemma" is a particularly unrealistic one for most people, and not something that anyone else would consider a moral issue.

It's as if you're saying that as someone with some dressmaking ability, you have a moral duty not to snaffle all the good (in your opinion) clothes!

You are being ridiculous. Buy what you want. Clothes are relatively cheap and plentiful nowadays, you can shop in Primark or buy a dress for a quid on vinted. You buying a dress in a different size isn't going to result in some poor impoverished overweight woman walking around in rags.

It's more that, when I was a size 18, if I'd seen someone a few sizes smaller pick up a dress in that size that I'd wanted if I'd have got to it first, and announce their intention of resizing it, I'd have felt pissed off - whereas if a fellow size 18 bought it, I'd just feel disappointed.

Well what if a size 18 woman bought a dress you liked in a size 10 because she was losing weight and wanted to buy it to spur her on. Or she could be buying it for a friend. Or what if you bought a dress in your size and a woman the exact same size as you also wanted it? You are hugely over thinking this. We are not in the dark ages or living in a communist state....we have ample affordable clothing in this country.

I haven’t lost weight but I bought a size 22 dress (the only one left, otherwise I’d have bought my own size) in a sale and used it as fabric to make a dress in a size 12.

I paid for the dress, I can use it how I like, I certainly didn’t feel I should leave it on the rail because someone who is a size 22 might need it, how ridiculous.

I think that's a you issue and not a general response to that situation. I'd very much expect a charity shop buyer to be the kind of person who might also alter or re-work an item they'd found there. I don't think I'd have ever really noticed what size items other people were picking up either.

It sounds like you've found shopping very stressful and upsetting in the past, which as someone who has been overweight, obese or morbidly obese for nearly my whole adult life, I can totally understand.

I do that myself sometimes - buy smaller as an incentive and try it on every week. I'd be wishing anyone else doing that luck!

Yes, I have - I am the sort of person who, when I am at my largest (have been up to size 20 at some points in my life), tends to avoid shopping unless I absolutely have to and wears the same few things all the time; I still hate trying things on in shops even at a smaller size, even if no one is watching it feels humiliating if I can't get something done up.