Lost Myself Somewhere Along The Line

[Mumof5Al]

Im Miserable.
I am very overweight. 5ft 7, 22st. Have been trying to lose weight on and off for years and have yo yo'd. I am currently the biggest i have ever been.

My main issue is that i am a comfort eater, years of trauma has given me so so many triggers and when im low i eat. Its like a compulsion. And i am low ALLOT.
The doctors advice meds for low mood, however i have a phobia of medication due to growing uparound addiction. So the anxiety i get over taking the meds makes me worse.
I feel im in a never ending cycle and im so lost and clueless how to get out of it.

I dont know the purpose of this post, other than to vent. And get it off my chest.
And praying someone can say something that will help me fond the perspective i need to move forward and get healthy for my Children

After decades of comfort eating I unexpectedly found a new, far healthier comfort - yoga. I started my yoga journey obese (down from morbidly obese) and very unfit really, but the first video I tried,Yoga with Adriene Yoga for Comfort and Nourishment, actually made me cry (in a cathartic, self-caring way I never had before) and I’ve practiced daily ever since. I now teach yoga!

Little things do help…I used to enjoy toast with thick jam or peanut butter (or both), but my breakfasts are now a variety of different porridges and they really set me up for the day (today’s will be mixed berry, chia and pumpkin seed seed porridge). Just change one small thing at a time won’t feel so overwhelming and will actually become habit. Long term slower weight lose will reduce risk of yo-yoing and also reduce risk of low mood and comfort eating cycle.

I know it’s hard. I didn’t have anyone left alive that cared enough about me to shake me and scream what I was doing to myself with eating was killing me…I had to find that self-care and self-love enough to realise it on my own and choose life. I hope you choose it too.

I think you really need to get some help with your issues around medication, because until you get help for the depression/low moods - you cant help yourself

I also hate taking medication, but I now have to take BP meds, every day to stop the risk of stroke . No ifs or buts I have to take them. So when the GP also added something for my anxiety - I just added them to the posset box and told myself they were also to help keep me alive and healthy

Takes a while for those to kick in, and seriously Ive not looked back. I have retained control of my weight and my life . I dont have time for low moods now because Im back to enjoying life. Ive lost and kept off the 2 stone plus I was carrying extra, I go out walking every day just to connect with nature and that really lifts my mood. I now want to go out with friends , I have energy.

Do try to find a way of taking the meds. - its the first step