So very upset

[Dollyparot200]

I was at work last night and my senior said dolly have you thought about taking weightloss injections , I feel so upset about this, embarrassed just awful. I'm been very unwell and due to my illness I've lost 29 kilos I just can't get my head around a male senior saying this to me im female im 5.4 and 89 kgs im measuring a size 16

Sorry this has happened. Unless there was a conversation which might have misled your colleague into thinking this was an ok comment, he is just an absolute twat who doesn't deserve your headspace.

There has been no conversation I havent mentioned anything, he knows I'm waiting for an operation as I have had my duties changed to light, I feel like he's been looking at my body I feel so awful.

I have a contraindication because of my illness so I couldn't have WLI even if I wanted to

What did you say to him? I hope you made it clear that you/your body/your weight is nothing to do with him! What a twat. (Him, not you, obviously!)

I feel really bad but I didn't say that I was so shocked. I just said to him that's not possible because I'm ill

He's an arsehole

Don't let him get to you x

That's appalling,I'd put in a formal complaint,this is not on at all.

Firstly, a work colleague should not be making any unsolicited personal comments about you. I'm trying to understand if there could be any context to the comment. Was it part of a wider conversation or was that the only thing he said to you? Has he ever made personal comments about you before?

I'm sure if he'd said "Dolly, have you thought about dying your skin blue?" it wouldn't have upset you, you would just have thought what a daft suggestion my senior colleague made and you wouldn't have thought any more of it. Try and frame his WLI comment in the same way and don't let his ill advised and stupid words get into your headspace.

If you feel like he made the comment because he is looking at your body inappropriately or over-stepping the professional boundaries, you should probably raise it with your manager and/or HR.

Thanks guys I believe to say that he must be looking why would you say it otherwise, its the first time he's ever said any thing about my weight previous to that we were talking about holidays. Where we have been and where he is planning on going, I have reported him as I cant tolerate him looking or commenting on it, as I've been so unwell and I still am that isnt up for any type of conversation.

How weird. I'd have said "Have you thought about hair replacement surgery?" or similar but that's why I'm terrible in an employment situation

It was so shocking I just said I'm unable to take them because of medical reasons. I know I should have said something more but I was so shocked

Glad you've reported him. Hopefully they will speak to him and explain how inappropriate his remark was.

It is bad enough from any colleague, but particularly shitty from someone senior to you , because of the inequality of power, and the expectation that his words should somehow be heard respectfully.

I'm so pleased you've reported him, this kind of crap needs to be stamped out immediately. How dare he?

Update so he has been spoken too, he came and found me and asked if he upset me?, then said everyone is on them thought you were, I cant remember saying it actually I'm sorry if I did, not sure it was worth reporting

Fucking hell,he's not getting the message is he? Was that meant to be an apology?

No way it totally wasn't, I'm not sure what to do now, I guess I.ll have to see if he does anything else

Oh my good I weigh the same as you and one of the consultants said the same! I just laughed it off.

I think the point is that this is a man who is incharge of me looking at my body and telling me to take WLI ?? When I havent asked him for any advice at all

Pretty much the same as me, everyone else who heard looked mortified 😂😂
And of course you didn't ask for his unsolicited advice, he gave it anyway 🙄🙄

I'm not sure you are understanding, this is my boss where I work, your talking about your consultant at the hospital there's a massive difference there

He is my boss!
I was at work not a patient

Aww I see sorry, well I'm not laughing off someone being horrible not a chance.

I think you need to maybe rehearse something to say to him to shut him down immediately if he says anything again and then obviously take it to HR again. Something like "why are you asking me such personal questions?" and just dead stare him. " Or "fuck off you inappropriate creep."

I'm going to go with personal questions?? Should shut him down without too much confrontation and it's warning in an unsaid way you want reporting again?

I wouldn't have told tales, just told him next time you found it inappropriate.