“You look like a mum”

[Growingyou]

As soon as I birthed my 2nd baby I was put on a high dose of corticosteroids and other strong medications for a life-threatening tumour. I had high-risk surgery a week later but almost 2 years later I am still on the medication. My DH cares little for the effects of the medication and told me to put in some effort. Whilst I am angry at him, I also don’t feel my best with this extra weight. Ideally I’d lose about 6-7kgs. We were going to a birthday party and I was struggling to find something to wear. He commented that “gravity gets us all” and that I look just like what I am - a mum. At the party I could hear him chatting with another mum about how much she lifts at the gym. I feel very mixed emotions and I don’t want to lose weight just for him, but I hope I would have a bit more energy if I dropped a small amount of weight. Any advice on getting started? I have never dieted in my life.

cannot believe I just read that. It’s like trying to use motherhood as an insult!! Your body is amazing, it’s fought (or fighting?) off a tumour and birthed a beautiful child. You’re not even hugely overweight so he can pretend it’s for healthy reasons. He just wants his trophy wife back.

I won’t go as far as to say LTB but I would be having a word about how he’s made you feel and remind him of the trauma your body has gone through and it’s not helpful him thinking about your aesthetic right now.

hope you’re ok

He's a selfish pig, bet he's no Adonis himself.

Do what makes YOU feel good. Do you like swimming, yoga, walking up hills?

Your husband sounds awful.

Ditch him - that's probably all the weight gone right there!

The effort comment was off unless there is some context.

The mum comment wouldn’t bother me, it reads more like “don’t beat yourself up” but again it seems there might be a wider issue overall with him discussing your weight.

Incidentally, I wish I only had 7 kg to lose. It’s fine to feel like you want to drop a bit, but don’t let perfection be the enemy of the good. I’m in my 50s and always say I wish I was as thin as back when I thought I was fat!