I’ve started comfort eating

[LightbulbM]

I’m having a shit time in life right now. Job issues, relationship issues, I’m lonely and my small child is driving me nuts. I am finding every night after I put my child to bed I’m eating. Crisps, chips, chocolate.

I need to stop this but ever n if ht my brain just says ‘I’ll do it tomorrow’. I eat well during the day but in the evening, I’m so broken and exhausted I go straight to the cupboard. I know if I don’t have things in the house I can’t eat them so I won’t rebuy, but how do I stop the pattern? I don’t need to be unhealthy on top of how miserable I am.

It’s the hardest habit I’ve ever had to break, but you can do it. Different things worked for different people so find what work for you. But for me, going cold turkey always meant eventual failure, so I reduced rather than cut out. I replaced eating chocolate with drinking a hot chocolate. I replaced eating crisps with eating something like a boiled egg. Most importantly, I found things to do with my hands! I got that tip from someone who gave up smoking and said they needed something to do with their hands. I have a book of crossword/word puzzles, I have jigsaws, I took up knitting and just knit rows to keep my hands busy so that I’m not reaching for a snack.

So sorry to read this, it sounds really difficult.

I would try intermittent fasting. So your eating window is, for example, 12noon until 8pm at night. Once it gets to 8pm, go floss and brush your teeth. Wash your face, do your evening skincare routine and get into nice PJs. That way your evening starts off with something lovely and pampering, and as you have brushed your teeth etc, you sort of have a barrier to eating anything for the rest of the evening.

Best of luck.

Hi @LightbulbM I'm in exactly the same boat.

I've never eaten this much junk before but over the last year it's really crept up. Like you it's mainly after the kids are asleep and it's just mindless cramming of junk food in as I'm so exhausted/ unhappy with certain parts of my life.

I second the intermittent fasting as that has worked for me in the past.

I've started today with small changes today - aiming for far less sugar. Really need to wean myself off. Then next week I'll go back to the fasting.

Happy to do it together for support if that will help

The thing with comfort eating is that at one stage in your life, it worked. When you're little and you are grizzly, tired, bored or upset a food treat will often make life seem a lot better. That's a powerful message that's absorbed by your subconscious mind so, when we face problems in adult life, that part of the mind will suggest the strategy that worked so well to little you - it's just trying to be helpful.

The problem is that adult problems can't be solved in the same way as a child's and there's no mum or dad around to limit the about of comfort you can eat. So you still have Job issues, relationship issues, I’m lonely and my small child is driving me nuts. but now you've added misery at your perceived lack of self control.

So what can you do? First off before you eat that chocolate or packet of crisps ask yourself if there is any way this will help with your problems? (A bit like since I gave up smoking - there's nothing that could happen to me, good or bad, that would be improved by having a cigarette). The answer will always be no. Then remind yourself of how you feel X minutes after having that food, and how good you will feel if you don't. Then, crucially, congratulate yourself on having made a good choice but DO NOT berate yourself if you do give in. Making yourself feel like shit is very counterproductive!

I think stress is a big trigger - the brain doesn't store glucose and eating ensures a constant supply. I think just trying to impose some structure - structure on the things that are stressing you out and structure on your eating. It doesn't matter if you get it wrong to start with or if what you actually need to do first is to have some completely unstructured time/unstructured eating.

Just start with what's in the cupboards and freezer and gradually replace with healthier and lighter options.

Maybe write down your deep reasons to be healthy. For me it is that in approaching menopause and I want to go thorough it in better physical shape. I love hiking and it was starting to get difficult due to weight and lack of fitness.
Someone else mentioned to me about keeping hands busy. If you are really tired maybe an activity that downs require a lot of energy. Maybe knot rug making or dot to dot. It’s definitely worth trying a few things to see what you like.