Serial dieter, emotional eater and constantly exhausted 40 year old mum trying again! Anyone want to join me?

[Indierocknroller]

I have struggled with my weight since my teens and during my adult life have fluctuated between 18 stone and 10 stone. (I am 5"3 for reference).

I go through patches where I am really motivated and focused on being healthy and as a result feel so much better in every which way.

However, I also massively rely on food as an emotional crutch. Tiredness, stress, upset, overwhelm all lead to big periods of binge eating in secret (on top of relaxing my diet generally in terms of big family meals, treats etc).

I am now 40 and rationally know what to do and last year did lose nearly 4 stone by being mindful and kind to myself rather than restrictive or focussing too much on calories. I thought I had finally cracked it but then went completely off the rails in November and haven't been able to get back in the right head space.

Yesterday, I had the morning to myself and woke up making a mental shopping list of junk food that I could sneakily buy and eat before the kids came back from school/husband from work. However, after being aware that my clothes have been getting tighter and my confidence dropping I managed to talk myself in the mirror (kindly) and reverse my urge to binge.

I am therefore trying, yet again to break this habit and get myself back on a healthy track. I weighed myself this morning and I am 12 stone 7lbs. By no means the heaviest I have been but 2.5st overweight and nearly a stone heavier that I was last September.

I'm not necessarily looking for diet advice or people telling me to use weight loss jabs but some support or understanding from people who get it would be lovely.

Thanks for sticking with my long post!

Op, that bit where you said you mentally plan a binge when you know you are going to be alone really resonates with me. My DH regularly goes out on a friday evening and i collect crisps, chocolate and biscuits to binge all night when he is not here. Im disgusted with myself. I recently lost 4 stone as well taking me to 10 stone (5ft 2) and i looked really good. Went a bit mad with christmas food over the whole of december and started the year at just over 11 stone. It is slowly going down now but i cant get out of the habit of this weekly binge. I actually look forward to it but i am deeply ashamed at the same time so know exactly how you feel. No solution to offer, just solidarity!

Thank you for your reply @Tana433it's nice to know I'm not alone. Yes, I am exactly the same. Part of me is excited to overeat and in the moment it provides temporary happiness but this is quickly followed by shame and regret.

Can I please join you? I'm 41, 5'5" and the heaviest I've ever been at 13st 6lbs.

I want to lose weight and get fitter and healthier but everyone else's needs seem to come before my own, and I'm not sure quite how to get round that. I comfort eat to make myself feel better and then feel worse as I'm not going to lose weight by eating junk. I can't stick to a diet or exercise and don't really know where to start. I need to make small, sustainable changes but don't know what to do, so any advice and support also welcome here!

You’re not alone, I can be the same. I have kept four stones off for three years now but I have to treat my obesity as an illness, a condition which needs monitoring and treating as necessary. Losing weight put my diabetes into remission so that’s an added incentive. I’m still around 12.7 and should be around 2 stones lighter. However I exercise a lot and eat well so I’m not over worried.

I can and do binge secretly at times though, I’m pretty much there in terms of understanding why but it’s a battle to keep on top of it.

Hi @WilmaFlintstone1and @Eggsley thank you for sharing. I too find it hard to stick to diets or exercise regimes and completely resonate with the concept of everyone else's needs coming before my own. I really thought I'd cracked it last year by focusing on being mindful rather than restrictive. I was regularly walking and quickly got used to eating sensibly rather than eating for the sake of it. However, I still fell into the trap of self-sabotage and comfort eating.
Anyway, trying hard to start over without being to critical of myself. Thank you for being there alongside me 🥰

I’ll join you please, I’m the same.. fully aware of what I need to do but keep putting it off. I’m 42, 5ft 7 and 185lbs. I’d love to get down to what I weighed pre COVID and pre quitting smoking, 135lb and I want to loose the extra 9 inches around my waist.

Thanks for joining us @qandatime

Hello, can I join in too? I'm also a shortie, 5ft2, and way heavier than I want to be, but I'm so damn tired all the time I reach for sugar. And even when I'm not tired, I'm binging (currently thinking of the secret bag of wine gums in the car...Will i/won't I sneak out for them?) I recently had a hysterectomy so I'm waiting for the all clear (fingers crossed this week coming) to start exercising again which will hopefully get me back on track.

Of course @MulhuddartDriveall are welcome 😊 hope all goes well with your recovery and you get your all clear x

I would like to join to please. I weigh 14.1 I would like to be 9.13.
At the moment am fasting 15 more days to go then i can get back to calorie deficit. Plus my work out.
I was doing very well. Need the motivation to carry on once Ramadan is over look forward to loosing these pounds am carrying.

If you're an emotional eater, you won't be able to lose weight until you address that. We are always going to have emotional challenges in life and binge food is always going to be an easy option. Unless something changes. I suggest investigating Overeaters Anonymous - in person or zoom meetings available. The 12 steps are the only way I've found to sustain any sort of weight loss because I address the issue underneath the reliance on food.

https://oafootsteps.com/welcome-home/

Just one link. Hope it helps someone.

I think you would benefit from a nutrition coach OP - someone to help you through the ‘why’ and provide accountability.

Thank you @Wittowand @ThursdayLastWeekyou are 100% right. I am aware that I need to get to the root of my eating. I tried to address this with my counsellor when I was attending therapy but she wasn't a specialist in this field and it fell flat (despite her really helping me in so many other areas of my life). I hadn't thought of overeaters anonymous so thank you for the recommendation. I will definitely take a look. I'm not sure it's about accountability so much. I am not meaning to sound like making I'm excuses but I am trying to be kinder to myself. Having lived with a nasty inner critical voice which results in extremes of over or under eating I am trying to do this mindfully. However, totally agree with working on the issues lying underneath, so thank you.

You are very welcome @TealSloth

Although, having said that, @ThursdayLastWeekI do benefit from being accountable to an external source (probably part of the reason I wrote this thread) so I get where you're coming from with the idea of a nutritional coach

So bit of a mixed week. Firstly the positives...I have had an absolute shitter of week....stressful, tiring, feeling low, too much pressure etc (that's not the positive part! 😂) but I haven't turned to food. I have eaten sensibly and worked hard to stop and reflect on feelings rather than throwing in the toweland binging. However, slightly disappointed that I have had zero movement on the scales (in fact it went up on Wednesday!). Trying to remind myself that it's early days but part of me feels like there's been no reward for my efforts.

Just thinking our loud really. Hoping next week is calmer and I can maybe get some nice walks in to support myself both mentally and physically.

Hope everyone else is doing okay? X

How is everyone getting on? I seem to have got myself in the right head space and have continued to make sensible choices. I was 1.5lbs down this morning (finally a drop) which feels good.
Next step is to get some walking back into my life x