Massive amount to lose, just feeling lost

[Fallulah]

BMI 44. I need to lost about 7 stone!

I’ve just been put on medication for high blood pressure (although there’s an element of white coat syndrome there and it’s actually gone too low now which I’m waiting to follow up on.)

I have a job where I’m on my feet most of the day and work very long hours. We also have a dog who I walk. I hit a minimum of 11,000 steps every day.

I was a fat child and have always been fat. I did have one of the list of adverse childhood experiences that they say can give you long lasting trauma, but as it was when I was about 8 weeks old and since then I’ve had an absolutely charmed life, I kind of dispute that it could have made me fat!

I’ve done weightwatchers a few times but I lose about a stone and then nothing more. I can’t get my head around eating piles and piles of pasta on Slimming World, and hate the ways you can ‘game’ these diets and not actually eat healthy. I don’t want to do a faddy diet - I just want to eat normally like I see normal non obese people eating normally!

I love cooking, love food, love cooking for other people. I do not have time to calorie count and log everything I eat. We eat quite healthily - I would describe it as low carb ish because my partner is type 2 diabetic as a result of covid (weird thing to be left with but there you go).

I asked the GP for help and they referred me to the tier 3 weight loss service which I’ve now been waiting a year and 4 months for. Despite this I don’t really know what they can do because I don’t want surgery.

I had a scan a few weeks ago because I’d had some stomach pain, suspected gallstones, and the only thing it showed was an unsurprisingly fatty liver. The GP phoned and told me it was really simple; I just needed to be in calorie deficit, and he doesn’t believe in ‘all these weight loss jabs’ because he said you just put it all on again when you stop.

Blood tests have been done multiple times and they’re all normal apart from cholesterol being a tiny bit raised. I do have some issues with hormones due to ovarian cysts/removal. I don’t drink. I also don’t have loads of crap like sugary drinks, crisps and sweets, so it’s not as if I can cut these out. I don’t think I’m delusional but clearly something isn’t working.

I feel like weight loss jabs are so common these days that people are looking at me thinking why don’t I just get some. But I can’t really afford it, and truth be told I’m scared of the side effects.

I don’t even know what I’m asking but clearly I need to do something. Thank you for reading and for any advice!

I'd assume there's a contributing psychological aspect to this, given what you said. ACEs notoriously cause issues later in life. The age it occurred making it irrelevant is a red herring.

That said, it's not an excuse (need a better word there) as such. If you have resources I'd find therapy along side weight loss intervention.

Your calorie requirement each day are probably fairly high, given the additional 7 stone. If your weight is stable and not increasing then you're probably eating at a maintenance level of calories.

You could try simply eating a smaller serving of what you normally eat, if you don't want to calorie count everything. At the same time you could increase the proportion of non starchy veg on your plate and look at leaner sources of protein.

Try it for a few weeks and see if your weight reduces, then adjust to smaller servings again if you're not getting results.

I couldn’t have written most of what you wrote

It’s rubbish isn’t it. it sounds like you have an emotional relationship with food as so many do (I do) and that is very hard to break as is obesity once it sets in.

As you say you can’t really afford WLI I am guessing you can at a push - so I’d take the push and try them, and do some reading around emotions and food at the same time - and perhaps join an online support group. optimally you’d see a therapist at the same time, but you need someone who is specialist in this area and that is expensive.

I do think a really good therapist and a lot of work can make a change but it needs so much attention it’s hard to find the time and money.

Do at least do some reading as well as the WLI though.

You probably will need to calorie count for a bit to see where you’re going wrong and to establish a new plan. Get an app like nutracheck, it’s not hard or time consuming.

Thank you for the replies.

I’ve downloaded Nutricheck and it doesn’t actually look as time consuming as things I’ve tried to use in the past.

I will also look into counselling.

Can I ask why you do not want surgery? How old are you and have you researched and thought about it?

I've found that the money I've saved on buying less food (especially expensive junk and takeaways) offsets the cost of the jabs.

Do reconsider weightloss injections.

I've lost almost 7st in a year. My BMI was 50 at the start. It's now 32. I've only got 3st more to lose.

I haven't had any side-effects, either. Most people don't.

Sorry to be that person but I'd have another think about getting the WLI. Like many others I've had success on them. They are expensive but you'll save money on food, and if you don't go up to the highest dose (which many people don't) they aren't as much as the quoted price.

The side effects, well to be blunt being obese has side effects too.

I don't think it matters why we are fat as such, the bottom line is we eat too much. WLI help us not eat as much. It's easy to follow a healthy diet on them.

Hi OP, I'm a similar weight and also made the decision that surgery would never be for me. I've been trying for years and years to lose weight and literally the only thing that's been sustainable for me is the injections.

I know you said money is an issue for the injections but I've saved virtually the same as I've spent by no longer buying crappy food on the way to and from work. Is there any way you could fund them for say 3-6 months to give yourself chance to see how they would work for you? FWIW I started September last year and allowed myself until Christmas to see if they were right for me and by the time Christmas actually came I was nearly 3 stone down. I've also had virtually no side effects.

I was you, until last August when I was diagnosed with T2 Diabetes which turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to me, because I lucked out and got a Diabetes nurse who was happy to prescribe Mounjaro.

I have always been fat, I went to WW when I was 11 and was well into the obese category by then. I was wearing size 16/18 clothes when I did my GCSEs and have never been below 'obese', at my highest weight that I can find a record of, I was 20 stone.

I lost some weight during Covid lockdown but that unfortunately caused gallstones so had to have my gallbladder out as an emergency and ended up putting lots of that weight back on.

Since starting MJ in September I've lost 3 and a half stone, gone from size 22 to size 14 and I'm less than half a stone away from a healthy BMI.

Oh OP I could have written this. I tried every diet going including just reducing portions and eating lean protein, fibre and lots of veg on plate. I lost 5 lbs in 6 months.

I have a couple of times dropped from a BMI of 35 down to 29ish but it always come back with interest.

I am now on WLI and for the first time I am getting towards a healthy weight. My BMI is 28 which I have never been before.

I have had some minor side effects including constipation and some nausea. Others do sometimes get it worse. I have also had a reduction in joint pain ( less of me to haul around), I am more agile and ae to get up and down off the floor easier to my kids, I am so much happier in myself, my relationship has improved with my mood. I didn't realise how much the weight was making me low grade unhappy. The risk seem lower then the risks of surgery

Work out your TDEE.

Focus on 20-30g of protein per meal as it fills you up. Then build the rest of the meal around this.

Lots of fruit and veg, lots of water/fluid.

Not much alcohol.

Adequate sleep & limiting stress, are often overlooked.

Can you add in some more exercise on top of your steps - some weights?

The key is consistency. It's boring, but it will work.

It sounds like you just need to eat a lot less of what you're eating, as your diet doesn't sound that unhealthy. I say that with all sympathy, and I know it's easier said than done!

I am (just) a healthy weight, but can easily tip into overweight and like you, it's not usually through eating loads of crap food, just because I like eating and don't like stopping.

The only way I can manage my weight, because I also have no time/inclination to do a faddy diet is my days looking something like this:

no breakfast (you'll get used to it even if you're a breakfast person now!)

Low-calorie/low carb but filling healthy lunch - e.g big portion of lentil soup, salad involving chicken/salmon/tuna and lots of different veg

Small snack in the afternoon if I can't last til dinner - apple/banana/handful of nuts/babybel

Pretty much whatever I want for dinner and a big portion of it, including seconds. The most important thing to me is that I can eat the same dinner as the rest of my family and enjoy it without depriving myself which I can only do if I watch what I eat for the rest of the day. When I say 'whatever I want' for dinner, it's a big portion and usually involves carbs but it's not UPF rubbish, it's real food. But I can't bear to go to bed hungry whereas I don't mind being a bit peckish during the day if I know a nice dinner is coming.

Plus.... a lot of exercise. I walk 10k steps most days plus go to the gym or go jogging 3-4 times a week. I know the received wisdom is that 'you can't out-run a bad diet' but personally, unless I am properly exercising, I find I have much less motivation to eat well, so the whole thing collapses.

Is your weight currently stable or are you gaining weight?

What did you eat yesterday or so far today? Because if you are 7 stone overweight, active and not eating junk then my best guess would be that your portions are too large so you are eating the same amount of calories as you are burning. Or more causing you to gain weight.

Logging food doesn't take long. I don't bother to log all the veg. I just log 'mixed veg' or mixed salad. But a few days of weighing and logging meat, carbs, sauces, desserts, cheese, alcohol etc could be enlightening for you.

Op, don’t calorie count as such,
Eat a high protein, high fat diet
with limited carbs.
Stop eating pasta ( for now) maybe later you can reintroduce it into your diet . Eating carbohydrates just spikes your sugar levels
Start walking and weight training . Strength training will reduce the loose skin when you eventually lose all the weight
There are free exercise videos on YT
I am a firm believer in therapy . Is there anyway you can access some free therapy in order to address your emotional issues with food ?

Eat a high protein, high fat diet

OP has high blood pressure, fatty liver and raised cholesterol. I am not sure a high fat diet is the best choice for her.

Morning… so, er, I downloaded the Nutricheck app and have found it really easy to use actually. Absolutely fascinating to see the fat, fibre etc broken down. The only place I went over was with protein so I think we need to be a little more balanced this coming week.

I had to make a few changes to stay within calories - dropped the cereal bar at lunch and increased fruit, had a slightly smaller portion of dessert when we had the M&S meal deal for Valentines, and dropped the evening snack (my partner loves nuts), but otherwise haven’t felt like I suffered. I also made sure I drank a lot more.

And I’ve lost ….. 8 pounds in a week!! There is a number at the front of my weight that I haven’t seen since 2020. I know I won’t lose that much every week but that’s motivation to keep going for now (and I have been looking into therapy as well). I will feel so proud of myself if I can do it this way.

Thank you for the recommendations.

Go for the injections. Think of it this way would you pay £1000 to be several stone lighter? Don't go for surgery, use the injections and the weight will come off without you having to think about it.

On a side note. Do u have pain becuase of ur gallstones? I have gallstones and I can only eat fruit and veg now. And only small meals. I have lost tons of weight because of it.

I don’t have gallstones.

"The only place I went over was with protein"

Being over with protein is good when losing weight as it helps with muscle mass loss.

The last time I lost a lot of weight it was the first time I used an app (My fitness pal free version rather than nutracheck, but they are probably similar). Unfortunately, the same as WLI once you stop the weight can come back and the subsequent times were harder.

Try the app first for the first few stone. Apps are a great tool.

Plenty of protein
Lots of water aim for 2L then increase if you can, use a water reminder app
Up your steps
Calorie cycle - aim for a weekly calorie deficit (some high days some lower) - your app should help you with this

If you can do it without medication fantastic, but if eventually you find sticking to it difficult, keep an open mind about other support such as WLI in the future to continue to build on your success and not slip backwards. Perhaps start putting money away each month now to either treat yourself if you don't need them, or support the cost if you do.

Good luck.

Well done on your 8lb loss OP!!

I have 5st to lose, and like you am not keen to go down the WLI route - I really want to set a good example to my DC and show them that you can eat healthily and enjoy it, plus enjoy exercise - although I'm clearly not doing very well at it at the moment

Pre-DC I was an overweight child and adult - not massively overweight but 1 - 2 stone - lost the weight in my mid-20s, then put it back on in my 40s after having the DC I definitely associate food with comfort though, I had a lot of family issues in from when I was about 11 to when I left home around 19; food was my only friend a lot of the time and still when I'm sad/ tired/ just not coping, I reach for the carbs. Mmmm carbs

I also do a lot of walking but TBH for me walking isn't enough - I've started doing some fitness classes which also use (very small!) weights, which hopefully will help...

@Fallulah I've lost nearly 7st on Mounjaro. I've got over 3st left to lose.

You would be well advised to consider WLIs.

I had a BMI of 40 and am now at 34.,I've been doing the Zoe programme since early November. It might suit you because you say you like cooking. I've lost a steady 1kg (2.2lb) each week since starting it.

Just returning to this thread to say I am now 1 stone 1 pound down. 🙌 This is just by maintaining a calorie deficit on the nutri app thing, and really keeping track of the fat/Sat fat as well. I’ve still been able to do the cooking that I love, it’s just like something has clicked.

I also heard that I am now approaching the top of the list for the tier 3 weight service after a year and five month and apparently this is a programme that includes counselling so things could be looking up there too.

Sorry to all the people it has worked for but the more I read about the unknown long term effects of injections, the less I want to try them!

Do some research on 5:2 intermittent fasting. Just 2 days a week of up to 500 calories, and the rest of the time you can go back to enjoying your cooking and eating. Its simplicity is its key to success.