Hi
For the past eight years I've comfort eaten, following a divorce from a long marriage where my exdh had an affair with my friend...a married, five children, Sunday school teacher.
It pretty much unhinged me as at the same time my Dad was dx with dementia and died recently. My friend, Godmother and then my first boyfriend ever died -..but his was in distressing and unusual circumstances and he wasnt even sixty. We'd remained friends and I had to organise funeral etc and he died without a will, too so I have loads of paperwork to help the court with.
Through all this lot, what did I do?
Eat eat eat
Today I have faced it..I cant deny it anymore.
I am five feet ten and sixteen stone
I look like Will Carling in a dress. I was ten stone so I have eaten myself to this and I am disgusted.
I want to belive I can lose this as I feel it wouldn't matter much to anyone if I just kept going till I was as big as an iceberg. I cant believe this is my life...I know I must pull myself together, get a job, find somewhere to start again...just as most of my friends are retiring. We had no kids. He left just as we were adopting so it couldn't go ahead.
But how do I not panic it's Too Late?
How do you go on liking yourself when you are a big ugly lump like me?
I live alone and am looking for a job. I'm 60
I had a brilliant career before all this.
Now I just want to hide. I've no confidence at all. I either sleep or sit in my car just to feel part of the world. How did I turn into this - flab mountain.
I would welcome any help or hints or experiences from anyone who has 'found themselves' again.