I have realised that I don’t trust my body. Can anyone relate?

[RedRobinGoesBobbing]

I am currently 5 stone overweight. I have never been a healthy weight during my adult life. I am 45 years old.

I developed OCD in my teens which resulted in restricting food and food phobias. At the time, it wasn’t recognised as OCD and I was left to fend for myself by the medical profession until I reached my mid 30’s. This has had a lasting impact and I still avoid some foods. Fortunately, they are not foods which would affect health. I have now had helped for the OCD and anxiety and feel better equipped to deal with it.

In addition to this, I suffered from costochondritis when my son was born 22 years ago and now find that my rib slips slightly when I bend down. It is painful and I have to massage it back into place.

I don’t know whether it is a mind thing or a body thing but I feel weak. I just don’t have the trust in my body to do what it needs to do and this has prevented me from pushing myself to get healthier. It is a vicious cycle as the more weight I put on, the less able I feel to exercise.

I walk the dog and do the basics but the real issue here is the trust in my own body.

Did anyone feel the same and what steps did you take to overcome it?

Hi OP. I understand what you mean and have felt similar.

The only way to address it, unfortunately, is to get yourself moving - strength training and exercise. I know it's hard but it is the only way you will feel stronger in your body.

You need a good personal trainer and a physiotherapist who can teach you the right exercises for your body to help you feel stronger and more confident in your ability.

It may also be worth trying injectable weight loss medications like mounjaro if you can afford it (you won't get it on the NHS) - but if you do this you NEED to do the strength training as well. On its own, it won't solve the problem.

Yes, I have felt similar. Different challenges, similar outcome. I do not I have ever felt completely at ease with my body, but I have certainly trusted it in the past. The distant past, which I look back on as a time of innocence and naivety in many ways. But that's the past. Something to accept and to learn from, not to relive.

First me, the first step back to trust is forgiveness. I needed to forgive myself for whatever I have done or not done that I feel has let me down. It's an ongoing process of learning to believe that I am OK.

So something in me doesn't work well, goes wrong regularly or unpredictably. So it is what it is. I'll work around it. If it goes wrong I won't be angry, just deal with it. Acceptance that this is the body I've got. This is myself to love as I am.

There was a song in the charts when I was about 18, it was actually about homophobia and included the lyric I'm sure that everybody knows how much my body hates me. I couldn't get that line out of my head because I was convinced my body hated me, not due to matters of sexuality but due to health. My body seemed to give me so much pain (I had, at the time undiagnosed, very bad endometriosis) and in terms of how it should look, everything about it seemed to be wrong - what should be small was large; what should be large or long was short - and a total traitor when it came to weight, fitness etc. I still feel like that more than 30 years later. No advice but I wish you luck in overcoming it.