Zero motivation to lose weight

[SnowmanInTheSun]

Hi all. I'm not sure what I want from this thread but I think sharing might be a good starting point. I'm perimenopausal and I seem to have lost all motivation to lose weight.

My weight has slowly crept up over the last year. I distinctly remember it started around November 2023 when I was eating freely and not exercising as much as normal. Prior to that I always stayed a consistent weight - it wasn't my dream weight but I was in a healthy range. Now I'm too scared to even stand on the scales. I think I'll be over 12 and a half stones. At 5'6" it's getting out of hand.

My problem is that I have absolutely no motivation to try and lose it. I have dragged out 'holiday mode' until tonight but tomorrow I'm back at work and the children are back at school. Our routine will be back to normal and I have no excuse. I have a wedding and a holiday coming up but neither of those things seem to be driving any sense of urgency in me.

I know I'll feel unhappy at the wedding and holiday. Yet I'm still overeating and telling myself I'll start tomorrow. The tomorrow of all tomorrows is tomorrow but I just don't seem to care. Can anyone relate?

I can soooo relate to you. If a holiday and a wedding isn’t motivation enough for you how about the increased risk of dying? Because that’s where you’re heading.
I am 55 yr old male and have been gaining weight for the last few years. I won’t bore you with my story but I will say this is exactly where I was 6 months. I was convinced my sugar addiction was incurable and accepted I would be dead by early 60’s.
Now for me losing the weight is the motivator because it has become self-perpetuating, the more I lose the healthier I feel, so the more a want to lose to feel even healthier. I also find trying new recipes and new healthy foods can be quite fun. I have discovered new foods and recipes that I enjoy which I would never had touched 6 months ago. I even get an endorphin hit every time I go for a coffee and resist have a slice of cake with it.
Don’t go on a diet, go on a healthy eating regime, by all means join SW or WW, they are good tools to kick start a weight loss program, it will if nothing else give you a base line on how to eat healthy. I would also look at the Slimpod app, I’ve looked at but haven’t joined as I think it’s a bit ‘over the top / hard sell’ but my sister loves it, and as I’ve always said a healthy eating regime is 95% phycological. I would also look at joining a gym, spend a bit of time with a personal trainer exercise is a great way to get your endorphins going.

@SnowmanInTheSun Would breaking it down into smaller chunks help? Instead of a stone or whatever maybe 4lb this month, 4 next month etc?

Dont focus on weight at the moment if its to overwhelming, focus on adding healthier foods to your plates, so upping veg so that the rest of the food is a smaller portion, giving yourself a game of how many '5 a day' can you eat focusing more on veg than fruit

Can you do a very short walk, literally walk for 10mins from your front door then turn round, so you have a 20 min walk a day, build it up from there

You may then find yourself getting motivated to take more actions.

Apparently it’s not motivation we are lacking it’s discipline/ the current buzz word for PTs 🙄

don’t think of it as losing weight. Go for the being healthier outlook. Reduce portions, move a bit more, more fluid.

You’re stuck in a negative cycle of poor decision making and can’t break it. It’s hard! All I can say is little changes add up and by making them consistently you’ll start to feel more positive and work harder. You need to tip the balance of bad to good.

I would also start small for Jan. Small target, small changes, being consistent. What has worked on the past? Copy that. For me if I start to increase my exercise I then start to eat better and the more I do that the better I feel. Eventually it follows through to the scales.

Thank you kind people. I already feel more inspired after reading your posts. @Slawit yes, health is one of my biggest worries. I usually try to avoid the scales and not put too much emphasis on the numbers. However, I needed to check today so I can at least be accountable to myself. I like everyone's suggestions of taking small steps. Good advice and something that I'll try to do. Let's see if day 1 is any good...

If you don't get control of your weight now, the older you get, the harder it gets. Your joints will suffer, your mobility will decrease because of the pain, and you will get heavier. And heavier. This is the truth of it. It's not really about how you look, it's how you feel.

A phrase used a lot in resistance training is “consistency matters more than motivation” it doesnt matter why you want to lift what matters is that you lift 🤷‍♀️
A roundabout way of saying just pick one small thing and stick with it for a bit. I’ve put on 10kg over the last two years (of the 22kg I lost) I’m restarting by doing dry January and logging my food on Nutracheck app.
Also perimenopausal at 56

This was me. In 2020 I was a small size 10. By July last year I was very nearly a 16. Also 44 and peri. I didn't like how I looked and it was making me miserable , but I still couldn't find the motivation to lose the weight. I knew the problem and the solution but couldn't bring myself to do anything about it.
I saw a truly Awful photo of myself at a friends BBQ which was the last straw. I ordered mounjaro and it's been really great tbh. It's just stopped me wanting to eat and I've lost a dress size in 6 weeks. That in turn has made me feel better about myself and is motivating me to exercise a bit and take an interest in myself again.
I think it was just the thought of all the effort and the trying and failing, when my peri energy is low anyway that was stopping me doing anything about my weight. Now it's going in the right direction with the help of the jabs I feel I will be able to continue when I tail them off.

You're so right @Chocolately I'm so over trying to look good in my forties but I want to be able to live my life to the fullest and remain healthy. If that means that my jeans fit a bit better then that's an added bonus. So far so good on day one, but it's one day. If I remain consistent I might give myself a pat on the back.