How to stop obsessing over food

[Scareofgettingthiswrong]

I am a size 20 and 39 years old. Up until lockdown I was a size 8, but my daughter hit 3, her autism became much more prevalent, and I turned to food to cope. I have never been above a size 12 prior to this.

I am a single parent with no family support (mum and dad died, and I have no siblings), and her behaviour is still very challenging. All I think about is food. All day, every day, I want sweets, biscuits, crisps, toast. I know how to eat well, but I can do so well and then literally eat a 7 pack of penguin biscuits, a full pizza and a tub of ice cream for tea.

Where do I even start? I can’t afford counselling.

I'm in a similar situation, back in 2020, I was the healthiest I'd been since I was a young child! Was fit, healthy, good weight. Used to use MFP to help with eating the right amount of daily calories.

Then after going through a trauma, I stopped exercising, and started eating. I've not been able to stop eating. I am obsessed with eating and have gained around 5stone in weight.

I feel disgusting and am developing health issues due to the obesity.

Just responding in solidarity, I know how hard it is, hopefully someone can help.

I'm desperate to lose this horrible weight, but again, I cannot stop eating.

I don't know the answer to that, but I just wanted to offer solidarity and to say that I know very much how you feel about this. It's a self soothing behaviour that is not harmful to others nor does it stop you from caring for your DD. A sugar/carb hit also helps (temporarily) with pushing through tiredness, but then of course your blood sugar goes shooting up then dropping down and the vicious circle reinforces itself with an urge to eat again to try to raise your blood sugar....

So maybe you could try something like the Fast 800 plan to try to stabilise your blood sugar levels and to try to reset the urge to eat sugary/carby things?

Thank you both so much for replying. I am
so grateful to both of you, as it is really good to know it happens to other people too.

I am too embarrassed to join a gym, but definitely need to start doing some exercise as I literally do nothing now, and used to run and get such a buzz from it. I am just so embarrassed-by my size, by the way I wobble, and by how unfit I am. I have the fast 800 cookbook, so will start there!

Following this thread with interest, and solidarity to all posters here! I went into lockdown weighing 9.5 stone, and now a divorce; losing my beloved home; the death of my glorious mum; and a menopause later, I am 14 stone. It’s miserable!

@RipleyGreen , I am so sorry to read this. I have a friend, who has had a very similar 4 years to you. She used cigarettes and alcohol to cope and has stayed a very svelte size 8, but lives for her 4pm glass of wine (she doesn’t have to drive after 4pm) and smokes 20 cigarettes a day. She regularly makes jokes about me being “fatty fatty” or an “ten tonne Tessa” and it makes me so sad. I feel like food should be easier to quit but it isn’t feeling that way right now!

If you can afford it, mounjaro.
Miracle drug, stops you thinking about food completely. Loads of threads on here about it.

Also, this is not a friend. This is a spiteful bitch. Bin her, instantly lose 10stone of dead weight.

I can do so well and then literally eat a 7 pack of penguin biscuits, a full pizza and a tub of ice cream for tea

Sounds like the perfect tea 😁

I just don't have that stuff in the house. I'm too lazy to go to the corner shop which also helps.

Other things that have helped:

• logging what I eat on My Fitness Pal, keeps me mindful
• planning the next meal (what, when) as having a schedule in my head keeps me focused
• drinking more. I often mistake hungry for thirsty
• a garlic-stuffed olive every time I open the fridge.(Bonus, vampires have stayed away)
• being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, didn't really have a choice. (Do not recommend).

Good luck.

She regularly makes jokes about me being “fatty fatty” or an “ten tonne Tessa” and it makes me so sad.

Tell her to fuck off. Just FUCK OFF.

The only thing that’s helped make a difference is mounjaro. It stops the food noise.

I feel the same about being embarrassed about my wobbling so I don't want to join a gym either, HOWEVER, when I last lost lots of weight (that I've now obviously gained back again), I used free youtube workout videos. Started off with gentle ones, and by week 3 worked my way up to more frequent ones, then once they became easy, started doing harder ones...ended up doing them 6 days a week for over an hour, and looked amazing.

I think why I'm struggling to get a hold on it now is I'm now in peri-menopause, so am struggling with that, and just can't seem to stop eating. I keep telling myself "I'll start tomorrow", then I end up over-eating yet again.

It can't carry on, it really can't.

Hopefully, those of us on this thread who need to lose weight and get fit can do so together in solidarity. Tomorrow's a new day.

Sorry to say, but this...

Also, not eating after 6pm is good, again, that's something I'm also struggling with at the moment and need to get back to!

Sorry you're going through such a hard time. The previous poster mentioned mounjaro. That's a great idea and it does work.

Supplements like ashwaganda, berberine and iodine. All help to manage blood sugar, cortisol and thyroid. If these aren't managed properly you will literally run to junk food and there's nothing you can do about it.

Try to build a community for yourself and understand your body. Hope you get through this.

Next time she refers to your weight, tell her that from now on every time she does it you will reply referring to her smoking and drinking. Every "fatty" will be replied to with "smelly", "drunkard", etc. Adjust the offensiveness of your replies according to how much she annoys you

Have you ever tried a low carb diet? It is often the sugars and simple carbs that are so addictive. There is a low carb bootcamp that runs on MN and I'm sure they will start a new one after Christmas.
I would probably try that before weight loss medication (MJ is great, I am using it myself but it is not cheap, still requires a lot of effort and, for many of us, the appetite suppression does not really kick in for quite some time)

Fast 800 is a really healthy way to lose weight I think. I worked great for me until peri
menopause coincided with being 50, lockdown and WFH. 10 stone went on far too easily.

You could easily lose 8 stone by ditching your cunty friend. How dare she! Make it a new years resolution to throw the trash out.
I'm afraid the answer from me is Mounjaro too, which I know isn't helpful if money is tight. It turned that food noise - the voice that won't shut up telling you to eat the ice-cream - off almost immediately for me. My problem wasn't unhealthy meals, it was binge snacking and that's basically gone. It's a phenomenally helpful tool.

Hi OP, come and join the LOSE IT threads for support and friendliness. There's one for each month and focused on healthy eating but no judgment for bad days where we eat too much or don't achieve a loss. Just encouragement and camaraderie. They helped me lose over 2 stone and change the way I eat (mainly).

Does your Dd attend nursery? Is there any help locally through CAMHS or nursery? Our sendco put me on a helping anxious children course online. It was rubbish for me due to my dc being much older hit those with younger children found it very helpful. Early help (part of social services).
offer help too but I know you might not want to go down that route. The main thing is to access help to manage your stress and work out strategies to help Dd. Perhaps posting on the Neurodiverse board might help? It's hard. I have ASD and ADHD as do my three dc. I'm also on my own. One thing I've noticed with ds is that his diet massively affects his symptoms and makes him challenging. I've cut out ultra processed foods and have noticed a huge difference in him.

I don't know why people are suggesting weight loss injections when OP has said she can't afford therapy. Nor will they address the underlying issues.

Because for lots of people the weight loss meds are cost effective and the root cause is physical not psychological.

@Scareofgettingthiswrong I should add that I've always found that taking a multi vitamin results in less cravings. Just something I noticed 20 odd years ago and it remains the same now for me. Something to try perhaps.

I will let you into a gem from when I used to sell gym memberships.
Peoples’ number 1 objection was not the price, it was ‘I’m too fat and unfit and everyone will look and judge.’

Let me tell you this, I worked across various different style and price-point health clubs over 10 years. Nobody, and I mean nobody, is looking at you thinking that you look fat or unfit, or laughing or judging. People are ALL far too wrapped up in their own bodies and progress.

A serious gym goer would never discourage a beginner. You are more likely to get a nice smile and maybe even some top tips! As for the others, they have no idea what they are doing anyhow and they are totally wrapped up in that.

OP Join a gym, make friends, go to classes, you will soon be hooked. It is soooo good for your mental health’s the benefits have been scientifically shown to outperform some antidepressants.

Please do this for yourself. I have seen it change so many lives including my own. Xxx

I was in a similar situation at 49, two years ago. It's self soothing behavior and it sounds like you are on your way to insulin resistance which is a vicious spiral and an absolute b*tch to beat on your own. I had a sobering chat with my lovely GP who advised me exercise is great for many things, but won't do much for weight loss. It happens in the kitchen.
I got myself on Ozempic then Wegovy privately around 20 months ago, an early adopter but well researched, and I do feel it is a miracle drug. I have gone from a size 20 to a 10, great BMI, great health, a whole new life in terms of energy levels, family life and work. The appetite suppressing effect and lack of food noise helped me go on a calorie controlled high protein diet, which IS possible without the jab but much harder. Mind you it still takes planning and motivation. I have learnt so much about my total daily energy expenditure (TDEE), how to view food as fuel and not an source of "artificial pleasure", what foods are more sating, and portion control. I'm resigned to the fact that I will always have to watch my TDEE, calories and macros, but it's worth it because being 5'1 and close to 16 stone was no life, not for me and not for my family who need me.
Very best of luck to you.

If I were you I would go on the weight loss injections. You are the type of person they were designed for! Look at what you're spending now before you say you can't afford them.

I've lost 3.5 stone since June. I need to lose at least another stone. It's not that I hope I will do it, I know I will because the drug makes it possible. Being without the food noise is incredible. Losing weight like this is life changing.

You are all amazing, thank you!!! I am going to order Mounjaro on payday (Christmas Eve). It will be the best Christmas present I could give myself I think.

I am definitely on my way to insulin resistance. I am already having problems with getting shaky and sweaty and dizzy if I don’t eat every few hours, which never used to happen.

Thank you all so much for being so lovely, and I’m so sorry it has taken me so long to reply, it’s been a busy week!!