Have you lost a large amount of weight? How did you do it? Alone or via a support group.

[WearsBlackEatsChocolateAvoidsPeople]

Ds19 has put on a huge amount of weight this last year.

He has always been tall and slim but he has goe from 11 to 18 stone within a year. He has a very large amount of weight around his middle and angry red stretch marks all over his torso and back where he has gained the weight so quickly.

Obviously, as his mum I am concerned for his future health. I don't say much as I am fully aware this could make things worse but he has been eating and drinking crap all the time He often goes straight out from work and misses dinner at home, he then gets hungry and makes bad food choices.

He is currently in bed with a flu-like virus (the second this month). He is simply not feeding his body the nutrients his poor body needs to fight simple viruses.

He says he would like to try to lose the weight after Christmas. I said that I will support him with his choices. DH says he should be able to do it himself with determination and a strict routine. I say he would be better off joining something like Slimming World or Weight Watchers for the support as I don't think he has the will-power to do this himself.

How did you do it?

First off you sound like a fantastic, supportive mum, OP! When I first lost weight as a youngster I went to WW and was very glad of the support and the routine it gave me. However, I knew myself that I couldn't go it alone and needed that structure and discipline so I required no prompting to join. Has your son mentioned any strategies that he thinks he would need? Has he talked about what he thinks would help?

Thank you, I don't think he even knows where to start tbh.

He has fallen into the trap of making such bad food choices and now he is addicted to them. I try making him the usual home made foods that he loved when he was younger but he has no desire for them.

I am certain that a weight loss group would be the best start as I don't believe he has the willpower to do it alone but he is apprehensive to go as he thinks there will be no other males there. I am sure there will be.

The Human Being Diet is a very active community on Instagram. It may be worth investing in the book so your son can see where he's going wrong. It involves a strict reset (for 2 weeks) so he can curb his sugar addiction, but it's very effective. There are a few men that follow it but it's mainly women.

However, perhaps Joe Wicks might be more appealing to your son. A male friend of mine found it very good. He lost about 7 stones and this then motivated him to get a personal trainer. There's an app. Joe might be more suited to him. He was doing Black Friday deals. I'd still invest in the HBD book (above) because it explains in a very understandable way what's going on with his body, the importance of water, quality fat, protein etc.

It's a positive sign that your son has spoken to you about his weight ,without you having to prompt him ,
I was that person that was on a diet every Monday for 25+ years , joined every slimming club , tried every fad ,and they all worked ....untill you stopped following the plan !!
Every diet has good food, bad food it's worded different in each club but it all means the same , each food has a syn , a point, a treat etc , so unless your son plans to do it forever , I would reccomend calorie counting staying in a calorie deficit, being consistent and focusing on volume food , along with protein and fibre with every meal
If support is a factor , would he consider a PT for exercise?
Calorie deficit and exercise is 100% the best way in the long term .

I think your son might have a point that most of the attendees at WW or SW are likely to be middle aged women. There may be some men but it's very possible there will be no other male teens in the group, which he may find off putting. I think the post above about using an app or finding an online community is good advice.

I disagree about the lack of men, there are plenty at the groups I attend - I go to SW, and Ive been within target for a year. I dont go online, even though Im target, because I need to go and get weighed in, I can lie and cheat online , and you dont make the connections with others , helping to support them and taking the support when having a wobble yourself . If weight loss was just about calorie deficit we wouldn't be fat, calorie deficit we all understand, what stops us is life and in a group setting there is always one who really understands your struggle, theres always one that understands why a+b doesn't lead to C for you and will be able to give support by saying how its been for them

You sound like a lovely supportive mother, well done

Can I make one suggestion? There was a programme hidden away on BBC2 a week or so ago - Irresistible. Watch it with your son if you can. Its really opened my eyes. Its not an easy watch, its heavy on science and papers, but even the small snippets that are easily digested are eye opening . It really does make sense of why we feel we are so out of control with food and it may show your son whats been happening with him

I'm currently doing slimming world and have lost 4 and half stone

At his age might be worth looking at male fitness and food influencers on Instagram like James Smith or Eddie Abbew

I think it's positive that your son has spoken to you too. And of course you should support him!

Sean Casey on Instagram is good for young men I think.

His method involves eating at a mild calorie deficit, upping your number of steps and eating more protein.

Would he be interested in MMA (mixed martial arts)? Alongside a healthier diet it could just be the sort of community he needs.

I’d second Sean Casey. He also has podcasts also to listen to. Kate Hamilton is also worth listening to as well as being on social media.

I’ve lost 2.5 stone on SW. There are some men at my class but older. I think people would be kind to him. He doesn’t have to surround himself with people exactly like him. Most of the people at my club are older than me, some significantly so but we’re all connected by the same objective.

There is no way a male teenager would benefit from a group based weight loss program filled with middle aged women. Spend the money on a dietician, clear the house of junk, remove food deliveries apps, cancel number of local take away, make a gym subscription.
Make it a household project.

Have you read my op? My son buys the food with his own money. We have very little junk food in the house, we don't eat takeaways etc.

I am not certain seeing a dietitian will help tbh because he doesn't have the willpower to do this completely on his own, I feel he would benefit from the support of others in a similar situation, hence why I thought WW or SW might have helped him.

Thank you for the advice everyone. I have made a list of all the suggestions and ds and I will go through everything when he gets back from work tonight.