Morbidly Obese - does anything work?

[FatsiaJaponicaInTheGarden]

I'm really very very big. I think for a mix of reasons (undiagnosed adhd/autism perhaps, I have an assessment I'm waiting for which should come round in Jan) so difficulty paknning/organising and sticking to routines and meals.

Also I don't seem to be able to recognise full signals or "not hungry" if something looks nice. I've read about hunger scale and tried to work with it and it doesn't stick.

I'm not stupid. I have a v high IQ but this is an area I'm repeatedly failing. It really isn't that I've not tried. Something is wired against me I am sure.

(I do also have trauma/difficult childhood and issues then around scarcity of food...I also have ME/cfs which is when it started building up as I was less active)

I've only really got this ridiculously big since I had children and everything became harder - probably put on 10 stone in the 14 years 😬.

I'm so ashamed. But I also seem to fail at everything. (generally, keeping house organised etc although kids are doing well and have a good life overall).

I am wondering what really works if anything for morbid obesity.

I really am scared of surgery and long term possible danger from it from reading scare stories and having to compensate for it for life. I do realise this has worked for many people.

I'm contemplating injections but also aware that people seem to put it back on when they stop them.

I'm a bit wary of side effects too (especially fatigue as I already suffer fatigue which inhibits what I can do day to day).

We are not high income (just above U level) and if I pay for these it means kids won't get other things but I'm really desperate as it's inhibiting my quality of life (can't walk or stand for long - I used to love walking!)

My hope is to become a different person and by being a normal weigh be able to access fitness and walking again and deal with other physical issues as doctors only see "fat" at my weight. I want to take part in society again and choose clothes and be normal.

But it looks like all roads lead to weight regain, and in scared.

I'm at such a huge weight that I know my brain/body/chemistry etc has been altered so it's different to someone trying to lose a few pounds.

Almost every method of weight loss ends up with most people putting at least some of the weight back on. I don't know why injections get this stigma when it's true of any major weight loss. Likewise when people talk about hair loss and gallbladder issues- that’s a side effect of the weight loss, not the injections themselves.

I've lost 5 stone on the injections since May, and intend to lose at least another 2. Just getting to my goal weight would be amazing, having to stay on the injections long term after that to maintain the loss is a small thing for the sake of my happier and healthier self.

Well done!

I guess if it's long term paying 150 a month forever isn't a small thing for us as we're low income and struggle so it's actually a lot!

Mounjaro has been the only thing that has worked for me. I started in April at 18 stone 12lbs and I'm currently down nearly 4 stone. I was diagnosed with adhd last year and tried elvanse for a few months. It did help but my blood pressure was too high and it made me anxious when it was wearing off in the evening. I paid privately though and didn't feel well monitored by the company I used. Had I got them through the nhs I think I would have had a better experience.

I'm using life insurance money from my partner passing away to fund this so I completely get the guilt around spending so much on yourself! However, I feel this was my last attempt before going down the bariatric surgery route. I've budgeted for a years worth of injections then I'm going to look at tackling my mental health x

In terms of raising money, are there some creative ways you could find it?

I mean, I would find it very tough too but I have a couple of things I could sell (definitely not important or sentimental stuff), like my Fitbit or laptop that I don't use. Plus selling a couple of dresses on eBay, could make 500 then 500 on a credit card? Maybe relatives could make up the difference for Christmas? Some of the extra work suggestions that have come up on other parts of Mumsnet looked interesting, I've never done them myself though. Just trying to come up with suggestions.

Not really and selling works for a short term goal but if it's going to be over 1500 a year then I'd run out of things to sell fairly quickly!

The plan is to find a better job... But obviously easier said than done!

The take away from this thread does seem heavily in favour if the jabs.

The jabs are life changing. You can even regain the weight after surgery (I know several who have regained) so it will always be a risk. At least with the jabs, if you start to gain you can go back on them or stick with a maintenance dose. Weight loss is about reframing your mind and it is so much easier to reframe your mind when the weight is coming off. You become more motivated to make changes and spending all that money will mean you have a reason to keep your weight in check. Ive just lost 2.5st on mounjaro in 10 weeks, 1 stone to go until target, I will then do 6 months maintenance dose and really home in on my eating habits.

Wow well done!

I imagine 10 stone might take a couple of years so I will need to do at least that and then maintenance as its a large amount so I won't start until I know I can afford it.

The way I look at it is that the injections probably save you money on food anyway.. especially things like crisps and chocolate.. may only seem small a few quid a day but that's maybe 50 quid a month.. then your portion sizes will go down so saving money there.. and if it actually works you'll save money not being onthe endless slimming world roundabout
And you can't put a price on your health!
I'm currently saving up for the injections.
I struggling with binge eating.. I think it's a sensory thing. I think I may have asd tbh.. I can stand and mindlessly eat entire loaves of bread. I just eat for the sensation, no idea when I'm hungry or full.
The injections sound amazing to me. I'll make sacrifices to afford them.
My current weight is having such an impact on my joints etc I need to sort it.

If one of your children needed drugs to save their life and it was 150-250 a month (unfortunately the higher doses cost more) you would find it.
At your weight you need to do something. The jabs are amazing. As you lose weight you’re more likely to have energy and positivity to help with your work. Do you drink ever? I reckon I’ve saved £50 a month on alcohol.

Thanks Cheese - that's really helped put it in perspective for me.

I think my head was more IF it was going to work - I don't want to waste the money if was all just going to pile back on after - but perhaps I need to hope there's a cheaper maintenance dose available in a couple of years.

Thatcastle - I don't really drink and we aren't eating lots of takeaways . I think I just eat too much and am inactive so it piles on. I don't think I can bank on savings from food (most of our food budget goes on the fact I have 2 autistic kids with completely different food preferences and its really hard work)

I'm worried about effects on my joints. I am currently permanently exhausted which could be a number of things (long covid/ peri menopause etc) but all anyone will see about anything is my weight - and its obviously not helping.

I am going to plan to try and start adhd meds end Jan and then MJ once these have settled. I am so hoping I dont get too many side effects.

I keep thinking about things I will be able to do at a more normal weight - and hoping I'll get there

Go with kids to theme parks, fit through the narrow door at the hospital, Wear clothes from regular shops, get dressed easier, clean self easier (!), be able to go to exercise class, walk easier, get a massage!, go to a physical therapist and it not all be about the weight - so sort some of the other long term issues, not look odd for the kids, I really hope more mobility too, less achey feet.

As well as all the obvious - less health related risks.

I'd also like to overhaul what we eat and eat less UPF but that's proved harder as I am ND I struggle to organise and plan and then have no energy to carry through any of this.

This is probably what I could work on before the jabs as I have a week off in the new year. I@m genuinely hoping adhd medication helps with carrying this out. I so hope I'm not too big/ too high bp for the medication .

I’ve been on MJ for 2 months and lost 24lbs (had 40ish lbs to lose). I couldn’t recommend it more. I’m staying on 5mg as it works for me for appetite suppression which is £130odd a month. I’m someone who only loses when consuming ultra low calories (1000 or less) a day so I have a tin of veg soup or salad for lunch and small portion of healthy dinner, being on MJ makes this totally doable. I can even skip lunch too without feeling hunger. Now that I’m under 12st I can start exercising properly and think about how I will maintain target weight when coming off MJ in Feb. It’s a miracle drug.

Truthfully I think the only things that do work longer term are surgery and medication (injections).

if you haven’t tried low carb/keto that is worth a go too - see the low carb bootcamp on here.

dont waste your money on slimming world, weight watchers or VLCD like Cambridge.

I find the cost of the injections is offset by what i don't spend on food and alcohol anymore. I intend to stay on them for the rest of my life and the cost will come down eventually anyway.

I haven't had any fatigue just a bit of nausea which passed after the first couple of months. Interestingly this medication seems to have turned off any dopamine seeking behaviour i dealt with in the past. My ADHD traits are more manageable and the fatigue i used to feel has gone. I'm on Mounjaro.

@FatsiaJaponicaInTheGarden I've gone from 21 stone (maybe more) to just under 13 stone atm without surgery or jabs, so it is possible.

I managed it by calorie counting and walking but the walking is a bonus not essential, as long as you lower your calories to create a deficit it doesn't matter if you walk 100s of a miles a day or never move from your bed.

I found the biggest thing that helped me is finding quick, simple meals I enjoy that fit into my calories, I tend to eat the same few meals in rotation which reduces the stress of planning.

For me I switch up chicken breast dry fried in garlic served with frozen veg and gravy (made from granules) salmon stirfry and peanut butter chicken stir fry. Lunch is usually omelette, salad or a slimming world soup.

I need things to be quick and easily accessible (eg I don't have to walk for miles to source the ingredients) otherwise I'm going to give up and Uber myself a Gregg's instead.

The endless cooking you have to do with the likes of Slimming World has never worked for me but quick, simple, high volume, low cal meals do work. Frozen veg is my staple.

Wow that's amazing!!! And well done!!

Cooking is a nightmare here as kids are autistic so we're regularly making several, versions of meals as it is. I find it hard to resist once food is on the table.

I've never managed to stick with calorie counting but can see it's absolutely the way for some people. You must be over the moon. How long did it take? Does 13stone feel normal now? I'd literally love to go from 22 to 13 like you!!

Are you able to move better? Have you got lots of loose skin?

Well done 😍

OP- sounds as if Mounjaro is exactly what you need, and surely you are eligible for it on the NHS ? If your GP is unsympathetic, could you ask to be referred to a consultant ?

It didn't take long enough, I haven't always done it the healthiest way possible. I'm doing a lot better now, making sure I eat at least twice a day and trying to get more variety.

It doesn't feel real, tbh, I still think of myself as fat but every and now then I'll scratch an itch or rub my arm and feel bone and it feels really odd.

I do have loose skin but not massive amounts and none on my face or neck. I've been taking collagen, I don't know if that's helped or if I've just been lucky.

I can move a lot better. Walking is much, much easier and I actually use stairs now without having to grab the rail and drag myself up.

I want to take up exercise after new year, probably running and/or kettlebells but atm I am battling constant colds and flu, I don't know if it is related to the weightloss or just coincidental but I am trying to eat more and add more variety to help my immune system.

No it's a 12 year role out and they're prioritising those with diabetes or 3 serious conditions (such as heart problems)

I am thinking I will start mounjaro after my adhd meds are sorted. I am hoping I won't be in the few it doesn't work for but I am desperate and have been for the last 5 stone I put on!

@Frequency I am completely in awe. Well done!!

That’s terrible. You seem to fit the criteria if you’re morbidly obese, with all its associated risks. Is it worth changing your GP practice? I can’t imagine they’re all taking that long to prescribe Mounjaro!

No it's general NHS guidelines I think. There's noway they can afford to jab all the morbidly obese people so they're starting with those with other conditions as well.

Otherwise I'd be there in a shot. I'd love the support of an actual person.

As an aside I asked the nurse preactioner about them and apparently as she lost 4 stone herself she doesn't see that anyone should take the drugs... 🙄

My Greggs habit was costing me nearly half what the injections cost me. Add to that the money we save on our day to day food bill and it’s pretty equal.